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i've always planned on letting DS tell me how he wants to go potty. no pressure. i also never really PLANNED on nursery school, but DS has been BEGGING to go to school. he loves playing with tons of kids. so we did find a GREAT school! we took him and he LOVED it!! the teacher is great, DS didn't want to leave. they do all kinds of fun things....baking, cooking, dancing, plays....it's at one of our local churches. ANYWAYS....DS has to be completely "potty trained"!!! he just started showing interst in peeing in the potty! only pooped once! he's not aloud to wear pull ups, has to wear underpants!! we just had orientation last night. they say that sept. is a "trial" month because of change in environment, and kids have "accidents". it's only three hours twice a week....i am so totally having anxiety about this!!! i've never pushed DS to go potty, he will usually tell me he has to go, but he still goes in his pants.....he JUST turned three!! and most boys don't even show interest until they turn three! school starts on the 4th of sept!! what do i do??? i don't want him to miss something he REALLY wants to do, but i don't want to pressure him into going potty, and end up going backwards with the whole thing!! HELP!!!!!<br><br>
i'm so angry with the school for this!!! everything else they do is absolutely amazing!!!!
 

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i think that's why we chose to ec! my dd was 14mos-18mos when she was going by herself, as long as she was nekkie bum of coarse.<br>
i'm sorry your having a hard time. will he follow a reward system?
 

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If you can, you may want to find another preschool. I find that schools that have policies like this aren't necessarily the most respectful of children's individual development in other areas, as well.
 

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What a bummer--I'm sorry you have to deal with this! Is your son old enough that he can understand the dilemma? Can you explain the school's rules, and then work with him to make a plan for how you can help him learn to pee and poo in the right place in time? Let him know that you are there to help him in whatever way he needs, but ultimately have him make the plan so that he's got ownership.<br><br>
It sounds like it would also help for you to have a backup "fun" thing that he will get to do even if the potty training thing doesn't happen in time for school THIS time (another school? Weekly playdates with 3 good friends? Weekly "craft" day with you and a friend?). Let him know that you are willing to help him in ANY way he wants so that he can learn as fast as he can, but if he can't--he can go to the school next year, and will still get this other special time.<br><br>
Also, make sure that YOU don't pressure him. It sounds like there IS pressure (from the school, which you can't control), but it's important for YOU relax about it and 'let go' of the end result--if it happens it will be great, if it doesn't, you will both be really disappointed, but it will be there next year and you will find something else fun to do in the meantime. Commiserate with him. Let him be upset if he needs to, and let him know that you feel his pain. Let him know that you are bummed about these rules too.<br><br>
And, although it sucks to have people tell you that your anxiety might make a problem worse, I think you need to make sure that YOUR hopes for this don't put added pressure on him (I know this sucks--I got so annoyed with people telling me that I just needed to relax and I'd get pregnant it was like "oh, great, now I can be anxious that my anxiety is keeping me from getting pregnant!"--but I think it's important that there isn't MORE pressure than the school is already putting on him). He's got the motivation--he WANTS to go to this school. And you want him to also, but ultimately, he has to do this for HIM, he can't do it for you, and the added stress of wanting to make you happy will probably make it harder for him.<br><br>
Good luck!!!! Maybe other folks will have suggestions for techniques that he can put in his "potty plan" to help him learn faster???
 

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I would talk to your child about it. Explain that the school has a "no diapers" rule, and if he still needs diapers, he won't be allowed to go to school. Explain that he only needs to stay dry for the few hours he's in school- he can switch to a diaper after school if he chooses to do so. Let him know he also has the option of not going to school if he's not ready to stay dry for those 3 hours.<br><br>
He may be able to "hold it in" for 3 hours on school days even if he's not ready to be fully "potty trained" all the time.<br><br>
The preschool my kids went to had a different policy. They could wear pull-ups (but not cloth trainers. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> to school and they'd just have to sit in it if they got wet (not a big deal for the short school day) but if they had a BM they'd call a parent to come change the child, after which the child could return to class.
 

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Also, I would add that it sounds like your son is starting to initiate going to the potty on his own which is great! From what I've read on here though, if you start to pressure a kid to go (or take the "ownership" away from him by making it "your" job to get him to the potty), they can rebel and lose interest in the potty for a while. That's why I think you need to explain the problem to him and then ask HIM how he would like you to help him learn faster.
 

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I would also suggest talking to the teachers. Often when the school/church knows you're working on it, then they will give a little leeway. Not always, but it never hurts to ask.<br><br>
I agree that you should explain it to him and see how he does. Even telling him that it only has to be for a few hours.<br><br>
Crystal
 
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