Mothering Forum banner
1 - 9 of 9 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
15 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Yesterday morning at about 2 a.m., I started bleeding. I was 8 weeks pregnant. I live in a small town, so there was no one there to do an ultrasound. I had to wait 7 hours to find out that my baby had died 2 weeks ago. I was and am devestated. After that, things happened in a blur. I was sent straight to the dr's office, where he gave me the option of having it pass on its own or to get a d&c. I couldn't stand the thought of waiting for what could be days. I knew my baby had died and I just wanted to get it over with. An hour later, I was in surgery. I never imagined I could feel so helpless and alone. My husband is in Iraq, and I had to go through all of this without him. The only thing that is keeping me going is that I have 3 other children who need me. Has anyone else had to go through losing their baby alone? Please, I need to know that I can talk to someone who knows how I feel. You seem like a wonderful bunch of strong, caring women on this forum. I have to get past my grief enough to try to figure out how to tell my husband that the baby he thought he would be coming home to won't be here. I have done nothing but cry for 2 days and even now I am having trouble seeing the keyboard through my tears. Please, anyone that can help.........
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
32 Posts
I am so sorry. There is nothing worse than losing your child. Please take lots of deep breaths and know that you are needed and loved. Oh, I know what you are feeling and wish that I could say something more to help. My thoughts are with you
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,935 Posts
Oh, mama, I'm so sorry for your loss.


With my last loss, my husband had been gone for most of the summer, and I had to tell him over the phone that I had miscarried. I remember feeling so angry that all I could do was cry into the phone, and all he could do was try to say encouraging things until eventually, he started to cry too. It was awful.

I was also about 8 weeks.

I'm sorry you're alone, that's so hard. I know how that feels, wondering if anyone even cares, because the pain is so bad, and there's no one to share it with.

You're in my thoughts.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
190 Posts
i had to miscarry by myself as a single mom. the baby daddy had no clue how to deal with everything and he didn't 'feel' like it anyway.

i'm sorry for your loss. hug your babies. i know you need a big hug yourself ((((((((((cowboysgirl)))))))))))) i know you will gather the strength to talk to your husband and in the meantime yourself cry all the tears you need. drink lots of water. be sure to eat. take your vitamins.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,101 Posts
I am so very sorry Mama. I am so sorry you lost your Baby, and so sorry your husband is in Iraq and so very far away from you.
It hurts so badly. My dh was with me when I lost both babes, so I was not physically alone, though I felt a million miles away from anyone else, and they from me. Grief is exhausting but needed. Please be gentle with yourself and allow yourself to grieve in whatever way feels right to you. I am just so, so sorry.
Strong
to you.

 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
2,164 Posts
I haven't gone through this alone, but I couldn't read without responding. I am so so sorry that you are having to go through this.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5 Posts
I'm so sorry for your loss. I, too, know exactly how you feel. I was 30 weeks pregnant when we lost our son and my husband was (and still is) in Iraq. He comes home in October and our baby should have been 5 months old! It's hard enough to lose a baby, but to not have your husband there for support is even harder. Plus, just worrying about them being in Iraq is stressful enough! I know it's not the same, but I hope you have friends there for support. That's the only thing that got me through the dark cloud. If you ever need to talk, let me know...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
15 Posts
Discussion Starter · #9 ·
I am so sorry for your loss, Nate's mom. I know how hard it is to lose a baby at 8 weeks, but I couldn't imagine the pain of losing one so far along. I sit and think about how much harder it would have been after I started feeling the baby move. I hope your husband returns soon, so that you can both have the time to grieve together. I'm sure your husband hasn't had much time to do that, and he needs to. It's nice to hear from someone who knows the pain of not just losing a baby, but to have your husband, your main support person, be so far away when it happens. And having a loved one in Iraq is just a whole other set of emotions we have to endure daily! It's NEVER easy, but it does get better. I just hope that it makes people realize exactly how much our soldiers have to sacrifice to give us the rights we have, and the sacrifices they make to allow others those same rights. I have more respect for my husband than I will ever have for another human being. His strength just astonishes me. To hear him cry so shamelessly when I told him our baby died, still brings tears to my eyes. Then he has to try to put it out of his mind so he can keep his head in the game and stay safe. I couldn't do it. I couldn't just push aside my grief. He HAS to. His life may depend on it. Thank you to your husband as well for what he does for all of us. I pray he will come home safe to you soon. My prayers are with you.
 
1 - 9 of 9 Posts
Top