[Dreaming]

This morning my 2 year old DD told me her back hurts. I got on the phone to the chiro so we can have her seen today.
From the moment I pick up the phone, DD breaks into drama:
"I waaaant to talk to Dr. Sharon! Let me have the PHONE MOMMY!
MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY
LET
ME
TALK
ON
THE
PHONE!!!!
SCRRREEEEEEEEEECH!

I was only trying to hear the message as the chiro lists available hours and etc. Explaining anything to DD is sure to make her freak out more so I simply tried to say "Shhh...I need to hear what the Dr. is saying".
When that didn't work I tried to leave the room but she followed me screaming.

She' s sitting quietly in the next room now. Of course, I'm not on the phone now either.
I rarely use the phone anymore because she does this every single time. If I'm ever on the phone I have to do it away from her.

The screaming/shrieking thing happens multiple times a day for various reasons. I may not be allowing her to wake DS from his nap (she screams and he wakes up anyway). I may be telling her she cannot have a fork to play with in the living room. You name it she's freaked out about it more than likely.

I KNOW that this is the age of testing boundaries and etc.
I'm just concerned that I'm not using all of my available resources to deal with her behaviors. Some days I have infinite patience and other days I find myself yelling and I really hate that I'm yelling.

I get upset with myself for losing my sh-t and that doesn't help either.

Can anyone help?
Advise?
Commiserate?

 

[dharmama]

Oh. I can definitely commiserate!

Our DDs are very close in age...and we also have a baby who gets woken up waaaay too often. Sigh.

One thing with the phone that I've done is I make practice calls. It was a big issue here. Every. single. time. that I had to make a phone call, she freaked out. I would end up hanging up the phone to calm her down but then realized that I was unable to make any calls without her really acting up.

So...I started making pretend calls (she thought they were real). I just wouldn't dial a number. I would explain ahead of time that she needed to be quiet so I could hear and that when I was done with my phone call, she could make a phone call (she loves to call my mom and dad and tell them about our day). I kept the pretend calls really short and told her how much I appreciated her cooperation. Then we made the call to my parents and let her talk.

We worked it out so when they are done talking to her, they end the call (if I try to take the phone, she gets really upset). Sometimes she walks around with a dead phone continuing to talk to them for a good 5 minutes after they've hung up.

Doh. Baby's waking. Bye.

 

[ShaggyDaddy]

Maybe she is just feeling left out? I know last time I was at the store I saw a speaker phone for like $10-$15. Maybe if she can hear the conversation, she will not feel left out... of course you will need to test it out to make sure that won't make it worse, but if she really just wants to hear what you hear this may be a good option, especially for the recording of the chiro's hours.

Of course the ubergeek in me says "Surely there is a technology solution to this problem"

 

[EyesOfTheWorld]

Another one who can commiserate! The only thing that seems to make much difference in that sort of situation with us is to explain that I need her help - she needs to be quiet while I do XYZ. Sometimes I even get her involved in a project (painting, playing with blocks, reading practice) and try to get whatever I need done quick-like before she realizes what I'm doing, sometimes this buys me 30 whole seconds.

There have been a handful of times where no matter how much I swore I'd never do this, I actually turn on the one DVD that we have so I can make important calls. Good luck mama!

 

[DevaMajka]

With the phone, find a way to let her talk on it. Call family members and have them talk to her. Or your dh. Or, if there is no one else, if you have 2 phones call yourself and give her one phone, and you talk on the other. (if you dial your number, then hang up when it beeps, it will ring).
My ds was obsessed with the phone too, but I guess its not as much fun to talk on it as he thought it would be. lol.

As far as everything else, redirect in a way that honors the impulse. Redirecting to something unrelated won't do it for my ds. But as long as he knows that I understand his reasoning, and I'm trying to find something for him to do that is just about the same thing, but I have to make sure its safe and it is acceptable to me, then he's quite fine with it.
So, if she wants to take a fork to play with in the living room, say something like- its not safe to play with a fork. Hmmm...do you think a spoon would do? What else would be just as fun as the fork?
As far as screaming, my solution would be to control the screaming to an acceptable sound- so I'd probably redirect to making really loud singing noises or something. But loud is what you DON'T want, so...How about asking her to tell you as quietly as she can? Ask if she can say it quieter than you are? Then you could take turns making really quiet sounds. I dunno. It sounds good in theory. lol.

 

[faithnj]

I give DD a dead phone to "talk" on while I'm on the other phone.

Faith

 

[slightly crunchy]

Phone calls are hard with little kids. Get used to it, really.

It will not be a phase that will be ending any time soon. I am not able to have a phone conversation with anyone with small children, while either one of us is the only adult around with our children. With a 4 yo, it isn't so much screeching as doing other loud things, or picking on his little brother. It's just hard.

I would suggest, when you can, setting her up with something super fun when you know you need to make an important call. Playdough, paints, bowl of rice to scoop and pour, etc.

Other than that, I think expecting a 2 yo to be quiet while an adult is on the phone, is just asking for a power struggle. At least, from my experience. For the last couple of years, I have made many of my calls outside on a cell phone or portable phone, while following the kids around. Somehow when we are outside, me being on the phone is not nearly as interesting and I can talk at will.