Mothering Forum banner

1 - 11 of 11 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,743 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Anyone have any lists or suggestions for questions to ask a HB MW?<br><br>
Here's what I am thinking of so far: to inquire about her experience (specifically with HBAC), her 'style' (hands-off/hands-on), what she considers her 'standard' protocols (how often she monitors, internal exams, etc) and how flexible she is if I don't want them, how she handles situations and conditons of transfers, and her fee/payment schedule, but what else should I ask?<br><br>
I have a couple of MWs in the area that I am going to interview. I plan on interviewing her first so that I can get a feel for her before I have my DH meet her. I hope to have at least two potential MWs in mind before I have DH meet her because he is a bit reluctant about HB so I need to find the one who he will respond to the best and who can best put him at ease but also one who I feel most comfortable with.<br><br>
Kathleen
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,460 Posts
pamamidwife has an awesome list of questions on her website:<br><br><a href="http://www.midwifemama.com/interview_midwife.html" target="_blank">http://www.midwifemama.com/interview_midwife.html</a>
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,743 Posts
Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Thanks - that's the kind of list I was looking for.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,652 Posts
I would definitely ask for transfer rate and reasons. A couple of the MWs I called who were supposedly so on board with home birth and loved it had a 50% transfer rate! I would also ask how they handle slow paced labors, meconium, etc to get a feel for how truly hands on/off they are. I think some MWs think they are hands off (at least compared to drs) but aren't.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
61 Posts
I will second with the references and checking them out. For me it was very important to know that if I do not have a baby in my arm on the day of my EDD how long is she willing to wait without interfering. Also was important that I only wanted her to be just there in case I needed her help. ANIKO
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
62 Posts
The questions and ideas suggested are great, but what if the midwives are pretty much trained the same? Say they do basically the same things in similar situations?<br><br>
I encourage women to choose a midwife thinking about being in a small room with her for 20 hours. If she annoys you during the interview, she is going to make you want to claw through the basement in the middle of a long or stressful labor - no matter how highly she's recommended from your friends or family.<br><br>
I also cannot say enough about being CLEAR with your wishes when it comes to asking for what you need and want in your birth. What does "hands-off" mean to you? Does it mean no vaginal exams in the pregnancy, but one upon the midwife's arrival and another before pushing during labor? Does it mean listening to heart tones once every couple of hours only if the baby isn't awake? or no heart tones ever at all under any circumstances? Does it mean the midwife sits across the room and doesn't do a thing unless the mom calls her to help or that she sits quietly close by as mom and dad catch their own baby?<br><br>
It is hard sometimes, as a midwife, to know what a mom wants. I've been doing this for awhile, so have a pretty good routine down of how to ask specifics, but midwives who are either newer or who are new to the concept of client-led midwifery/birthing care, might be pretty lost.<br><br>
It's also difficult for moms/families sometimes to know what they want, too, until things actually come up - usually after a line has been crossed. Do not hesitate to speak up! If someone - mother-in-law, apprentice, or midwife - is doing something annoying or painful - say something! I know many women believe they don't have the presence of mind to say anything in labor, but really, they do great when believed.<br><br>
(For example, if a woman was poked with a needle, it wouldn't take her out of her laborland to holler, "stop that!" any more than if she had a painful vaginal exam and said the same thing. Laborland is but one breath away and can be found in one inhale and exhale.) Letting your psche know it can and should speak up IN THE MOMENT can go a long way towards creating the birth you are working so hard to bring about.<br><br>
Sorry, this fell towards Tangent-World, but I wanted to just add a couple of things.<br><br>
As far as references, asking other midwives what they think of the midwife in question can illuminate a lot - on all fronts, actually. Are either of them catty? mean? or support each others' skills and knowledge?<br><br>
Asking women in a variety of settings for in-depth information can give great information, too. Just taking the names of clients the midwife gives you probably isn't a good cross-section. Asking at LLL meetings, Bradley classes, including teachers, on-line local natural parenting groups, etc. are all ways to find someone to meet with privately at another time or via email to ask specific questions that are important to you. (And those questions are different for every woman... please remember that! What one woman begged the midwife to do might be the one thing that makes your hair stand up on end. Remember to keep things in context.)<br><br>
If, as you paint a verbal picture of the midwife you are curious about, common themes arise, they are probably true to some extent. If you hear the odd comment, but most words paint nice pictures, use your judgement and your heart when deciding.<br><br>
We all choose the best we can. If we (as clients) retain as much control over the relationship as we want and deserve - even if it involves a slew of every "intervention" known to man and woman because we want that - then we will choose great and have worked hard to feel safe and be well on the way to having the birth of our hearts.<br><br>
Barbara E. Herrera, LM, CPM
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,732 Posts
I agree with navelgzmw. Even though it's a midwife, a birth plan is a good idea. Our crunchy midwife was off the day we gave birth, and I had the medwife, who was annoying at prenatals. she did do a good job, but i had to push her hand away, she was stretching my perinieum or labia, etc. between contractions and it hurt. But having not had a baby before, I wouldn't have thought to limit that interruption beforehand. Some other annoying stuff happened, too- we were in the most birth friendly hospital around here, but it was still a hospital. I was quite capable of telling the nurse whomever what was bothering me.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
95 Posts
One of the important things is what NavelgazingMidwife said, Do you want to spend a long time in a small room with this person?<br><br>
My midwife in FL, I met her the first time, she hugged me and I knew without a doubt she was the one who would deliver my baby. I never regretted choosing her! She delivered both my boys. When I found out I was pregnant with #3, I cried for three days because I now live in OH and wouldn't be able to use her! If I could afford it, I would have lived down there to deliver with her again!<br><br>
I found a new midwife, which I feel fine with, just not the same connection as I had with my FL midwife.<br><br>
Along with questions that are important to ask remember to trust your instincts about the midwife as a person too!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,154 Posts
I definitely agree with trusting your instincts about whether you LIKE the midwife.<br><br>
One other question I had to ask when interviewing midwives was if they had had any deaths of the mother or the child at a birth they had attended. It was just something I needed to know. Also, I wanted to know if they had had any children end up with cerebral palsy or any birth injuries.<br><br>
Also, I don't think this one was on the list that was posted, does the midwife feel it is okay for you to refuse certain tests during the pregnancy, such as the strep B test?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,743 Posts
Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Thanks again for your insights! I feel that I will 'know' when I have found the right midwife and I strongly believe in trusting your instincts. All the questions in the world won't matter if I don't actually like her as a person.<br><br>
Kathleen
 
1 - 11 of 11 Posts
Top