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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi mamas<br>
I need some help dealing with bitting issues. My DS is 2 and used to bite but pretty much stopped when he was done with teething (he has all his teeth now except his 2 year molars). He has recently started biting again. Mostly he bites my clothes for no reason. So I thought maybe he was teething the molars. But today I picked him up to go back into the house (he didn't want to go and was protesting) and he looked right at me and then VERY DELIBERATELY bit my shoulder. Well he bit me hard, broke the skin, and I dropped him. I didn't mean to drop him but it hurt! He wasn't hurt form the fall so I got him inside and had Dh take over. I am so glad Dh was home because I was really upset and have never been so close to hitting a child in my life. Dh took him back to his room and actually stayed back there with him and put him down for his nap (the whole reason we were coming into the house in the first place). I am calming down but my shoulder is throbbing.<br>
So i guess my question is, what do you do to discourage a toddler who is biting with the intent of hurting you???
 

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Hi mama,<br><br>
I am so sorry that no one else replied to this!!!! What a hard situation to deal with, one that I have totally been there as well on!<br><br>
With my daughter lately, it has been hitting. And sometimes she can hit *really* hard in just the right places for it to be extra painful, kwim?<br><br>
It is sooooo frustrating, and I absolutely hear you in the reflex of wanting to hit back, the reaction of dropping him, etc.<br><br>
I don't really know what to do either. What we do is just over and over reinforce that she does not like to be hit (because it hurts) and that she doesn't want other people to do it to her (because it hurts) and that she shouldn't do it to mama or anyone else (because it HURTS!).<br><br>
She understands this, but she has obviously done it more than once. The other thing is is at this point way more often than not I can tell when it is coming, because it is when she is really frustrated, and I can tell the look on her face and the body language that go along with it. When I can see this, I can usually stop whatever it is that is frustrating her and stop the hitting before it starts.<br><br>
I am sorry that we are having to go through this! I know in my heart it is just a normal toddler stage in some regards, so I am trying to keep my patience and tell myself it will be over soon.<br><br>
Good luck!
 

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I can't really respond, having not been in that situation. I just wanted to offer some cyber support but, unfortunately, no real advice.<br><br>
I would say that the way you dealt with it was probably good. How have you dealt with it in the past? My DC only bit me a few times and each time I put her down and went in the other room for a minute or so. This was before I knew about "GD" but I still don't think it was that harsh and I would probably do the same thing again.<br><br>
To me, a very "natural consequence" of your child biting you is that you feel a "violent" reaction to the pain and getting some space seems like a perfectly acceptable alternative to acting out towards your child.<br><br>
I guess I would put the child in a safe spot and collect myself. For my child, that would be enough of a message so I don't know what you should do on top of that.<br><br>
How was your child after?<br><br>
Oh, and another think I can think of is prevention. Are there any indications that your child is about to bite? Are there any particular situations or stress that you can avoid so that there isn't any urge to begin with?<br><br>
Also, I would probably warn friends about this for a while. Just incase it happens again or so that other parents can help keep an eye out.<br><br>
Hugs, mama!
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Thanks for your replies!<br>
I guess we will have to go with the reinforcement thing and just repeat over and over and over and over that WE DO NOT BITE!!! the thing is, this was the first time he did it to hurt me, other times it was more benign and not out of aggression and i guess this just really caught me off guard.<br>
You're right, I will have to warn everyone to be on the lookout <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br>
I am going to have to continue to take a break and get myself together if he bites again. I was kind of surprised by how mad I got. looking back it's kind of like, well he bit me, it hurt, so what? But in the moment I was boiling. Not normal for me. I guess a very visceral reaction.<br>
He was fine after the incident. He was a little freaked out because I dropped him, and then Dh took him calmed him down and put him to sleep and when he woke up he was very cheerful and didn't seem to have any memory of it. Which is good, because I felt bad for dropping him and even worse for getting so mad at him.<br>
I will keep reminding myself that this is a stage.<br>
Thanks for the support!
 
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