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My 5-yo ds wants to only be a bad guy. He's REALLY into Transformers and only ever wants to be a Decepticon--and only wants us to be Decepticons, too.<br><br>
My dad said it's just play-acting and that he and his brother always wanted to be Jesse James and Billy The Kid when they were young, so it's normal. But dh is concerned, so i told him i'd check with you.<br><br>
FYI: Ds is kind, loving, generous, helpful any other time. It's just his play where he wants to always be the bad guy.<br><br>
Have your kids ever become focused on being the bad guys?
 

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Does he have a great imagination? DD is 4.5 and she doesn't want to be the bad guy, but I've noticed her play is evolving towards more STORY and drama. Where it used to be just hug and kiss the baby doll, now it's the baby is sick or the baby was BAD and there's more of a storyline to her play. Perhaps he's not sure how to playact from the role of the hero?<br><br>
What if you do some role playing and let him be the bad one, but perhaps you or your husband is the hero and saves the day, and gets tons of kisses and attention at the end?<br><br>
Another thing would be to talk to him about the concept of Hero's, and what things an ordinary person can do that are heroic. Help someone find something lost. Help someone who is sad or afraid... It's a big concept.
 

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Sounds fairly normal to me, especially if he doesn't tend to be "bad" in his own life and doesn't do it for years on end. He's exploring that role from a "safe" position probably, by acting it out in play instead of life. What does it mean to be bad? Do bad guys think they're bad or do they value different things than the "good" guys?
 

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i remember this from my childhood.<br><br>
bad guys have better props and more dramatic role. and oh to die. that was the funnest of all. the acting of falling and dying.<br><br>
yeah i remember how my bro and i fought over being the bad guy and chasing each other around the house attacking with our sword (a stick). we were gallant knights.<br><br>
you see the role as bad guys<br><br>
he sees the role as more imaginative perhaps and definitely more fun. yeah i recall one reason i liked bad guys was coz they had more of a story, more history.<br><br>
i think we are today doing a disfavour to our kids to clean up their games (not talking to you but just in general). how many kids rough house? many schools are now not even allowing them to run around without supervision. i think kids need to do more rough and aggressive games and unfortunately they dont get to do it. i think its an important part of their lives and they really process something with body language that one shouldnt try to do with words.
 

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Bad guys get all the drama, and I agree with EviesMom that if he's generally a very well-behaved kid, this may be his way to trying out the idea of rule-breaking and badness in a safe, unthreatening way.<br><br>
If he's able to limit it to the game and not try to be the "bad guy" in other ways, I'd say it's not only harmless, it's actively healthy and positive!
 

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Have you read Playful Parenting? It might help here.<br><br>
I agree with the others -- he's trying out being "bad" in a socially acceptable way. That takes considerable imagination and self control. I wouldn't worry.
 

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My ds is way more interested in the "bad guys" too. Often he asks why a character is "bad" which gets us into some interesting conversations about how people treat each other and/or what makes a person behave a certain way. He's only 5 so I don't go into great depth, but the older he gets, the deeper we'll go. (I keep wanting to say that "bad guy X" wasn't loved as a child, but I hold that one in. LOL)<br><br>
Personally, I'm not worried about it. My ds is also a good natured and quite empathetic kid. He also has a gorgeous imagination, so I think he's already figured out that the "bad guys" usually have/are way more fun!
 

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Totally normal. As long as he isn't using violence in real life, it's fine, fun, and useful. (someone has to be the bad guy)<br><br>
When we played pretend, I always wanted to be the boy role. I don't want to be the boy role anymore.. but, as a kid, I liked it.<br><br>
Growing up, my friend always wanted to be the "dark" witch. It was weird. She loved all the bad women in the Disney Movies. But, she's fairly normal now. (except on Halloween.. she comes into her own on Halloween) Her haunted houses are the best!
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Thalia the Muse</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/14712410"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Bad guys get all the drama, and I agree with EviesMom that if he's generally a very well-behaved kid, this may be his way to trying out the idea of rule-breaking and badness in a safe, unthreatening way.</div>
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Mine is only 3 1/2, but that's exactly what he's like & what he does too. He thinks that by being the "bad guy", he can get away with doing stuff that he's not normally allowed to do. (Of course I've had to teach him that even bad guys get punished for what they do wrong!)
 

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Totally normal, in my opinion (and experience with friends kids, etc..)<br><br>
Kids use imaginary play to try out roles and experiences they don't get in their regular lives. They want to be parents, doctors, knights, bad guys, princesses, kings, superheroes, firefighters, farmers. They want the experience, the power, the cool swordmanship skills. Not to mention I remember very clearly the bad guy toys were way more fun, they did more stuff and had more moving parts.<br><br>
I remember playing house with friends once when I was little, and I have no clue where we got the idea but one of us was the 'mean mother-in-law' <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> It was all very dramatic! Kids do weird stuff like that.<br><br>
My son, at almost 6, wants to be a farming, firefighting, daddy of 12, spiderman when he grows up. But the only single thing he really wants for christmas? The Devastator. (for those not into Transformers, this is an absurdly expensive set of 6 bad guy transformers that can be combined into one big huge bad guy transformer <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink">)<br><br><br>
The good guys are, of course, good. They do the 'right thing'. They're predictable. Yawn!<br><br>
The good guys would have no drama without those unpredictable, plotting, powerful, fighting, booby-trap making, and fascinating weapon+skill possessing bad guys to be up against. Batman wouldn't seem half so cool if he never had to go up against the Joker, you know?<br><br><br><br>
Maybe it would help your DH to look at it this way-if your DS is (and I believe you when you say it) generally well mannered, considerate, thoughtful,generous, helpful, all these great qualities, then being the good guy is not really as big a stretch of the imagination, is it? And I personally believe very much that a strong imagination is a fantastic quality! It leads to curiosity, as well as the ability to put oneself in another's theoretical shoes. That ability to stretch your mind far outside the scope of your own day to day life can be so helpful as an adult.<br><br><br>
So that's my opinion, hope it helps <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">
 

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I've noticed that the bad guy very often has the most interesting wardrobe, lines, backstory, quirks, personality, etc etc etc. We have a running joke about it in our house. My DDs both often seem to like and want to play being the bad guy they've seen in a show or read in a book. The bad guys really are more interesting. I've told my DH that it would be interesting to research the whys of how much more interesting the bad guys seem to be than the good guys.<br><br>
So there is that, and of course sometimes its fun to get to be eeeeviiil and also the getting to be vanquished part and swearing revenge is a kick too. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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nope my 5yo has never wanted to be the "bad guy". well not yet anyway. (he has no clue what transformers are and I don't think he knows what bad guys are). he does like to pretend he's Lightening McQueen though. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> we get some peculiar looks from strangers when he starts doing his car sounds.
 
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