[milk_maker]

Please help me. My newborn just won't stop crying. It usually starts up around 2:30 am and doesn't stop until around 5 am. I am absolutely shattered right now and I'm starting to lose the ability to cope. Last night I just sat there and cried with him until DH came in from the living room to see if he could help. I offer the breast and he'll eat until let down and then he'll choke and cry again. I check his diaper and he's dry. I rock him, I hold him, I sing, I walk, I do everything I can think of and he'll soothe for a few minutes and then start crying again. I can tell he's tired. He keeps grabbing his ears and rubbing his eyes, but he just won't let himself fall asleep. It's like he's fighting sleep and that just makes him (and me) more miserable.<br><br>
Am I doing something wrong? What can I do?

 

[kavamamakava]

My newborn is on that schedule too! argh!<br>
I just have to keep doing the routine over and over. I change her diaper, nurse her until she chokes because I'm overfull of milk, then I pat her back and try to nurse her again but she falls asleep. So I try to lay her down (since I'm having to sit up in bed to nurse her since she snarfs milk up her nose in side lying nursing and can't breathe) and she wakes up.<br>
I swaddle her and place her across my lap and put a hand on her chest while jiggling her so that her head lightly bounces. It usually works and she falls asleep. Then I put her on the bed next to me and get comfortable and she wakes up less than an hour later and we do it again. I would like to say she's cluster feeding but she only nurses for like 2-3 mins at a time. grrr.<br>
But at least she finally settles around 6 and I get some sleep until the other kids wake at 8. And boy am I glad to nurse my toddler to relieve the engorgement!<br>
The Happiest Baby on the Block (there's a video that might be even easier to follow) has lots of ideas for soothing babies. I got the swaddled head bobble from that. It's not called that in the book, though.

 

[KateMary]

Do you have a birth ball? I would put dd in a front carrier/sling or just hold her, and sit on the birth ball and bounce away. This gives a very big up and down motion that is much more movement than walking or jiggling. This is the only thing that worked for us and the best part was DH could do it just as well as me while I rested.

 

[mom2alicia]

how long has this been going on? is this a normal routine or has this just been going on recently? if it has just been happening for a few days, i would get him checked, make sure there isn't a medical reason for his discomfort (eg ear infection). mine ended up having a dairy allergy and was getting stomach cramping from dairy i was eating. Otherwise, some things you can try in addition to what you are already doing: swaddle snugly, white noise, let him suck your finger or paci if you aren't against that, baby swing (i couldn't have survived without my cradle swing).

 

[jstar]

i was going to suggest getting the ears checked too<br><br>
but aside from that it is completely possible there isn't anything wrong. and it sounds like you're doing everything right. i had a really really fussy newborn too. the birth ball is great. the swing is hypnotic for them.<br><br>
if it is happening every day i'd call it colic. it doesn't have to happen in the afternoon/evening to be colic i don't think. my newborn screamed for a few weeks and then seemed to grow out of it slowly<br><br>
if you're reaching your wits end you definitely need to get someone else to do the walking and bouncing for a little while. its hard in the middle of the night if your dh has to go to work the next day (like mine did). but if you can work something out for you to take a nap in the evening or sometime when dh can watch the babe you'll be better able to cope in the wee hours of the morning.<br><br>
if dont know if you've tried a bottle with dh and the baby. my personal experience was that ds took a bottle without any nipple confusion from 2 weeks til about 3 months. after 3 months he decided he much preferred the boob! (he wasn't confused at all :LOL). anyway...if you aren't opposed, pumping and letting dh take the baby for a while is an option.<br><br>
good luck <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">

 

[Isis]

Is it possible that your let down at that time is overactive?! If he starts choking, it sounds like it's too quick for him and he's not eating what he wants to eat & maybe is hungry and can't sleep?! Have you tried laying down while nursing him... it may slow that flow down?!<br><br>
I sure hope you get some sleep soon. Are you napping during the day with him? If it keeps up, I second the check up Dr. visit! He may not feel well! Take care!

 

[Ravenmoon]

I am going to suggest one thing that has been an amazing godsend to me and my newborn.Chiropractic work.My baby was born on Wednesday and had shoulder dystocia and was posterior.Upon coming out she was screaming and very upset and my midwife asst is also a cranial sacral therapist and she started working on her head immediatley and they baby stopped right away and became very calm and didn't cry again that day.That evening my chiropractor came and 'adjusted' her.Even though she had been calm all day and was nursing you could tell the areas of pain when the chiro was taking care of her.She literally melted in the chiro's arms as she worked on her.Afterwards she nursed so much better and seemed much happier.I took her back for another adjustment three days later and she was already tense in the same areas again and once again she melted in the chiros arms.This baby is so calm and mellow and sleeps and nurses all night long without a fuss.She has no crying fits except when she is wet or poopy and even that is a mellow cry of discomfort.This is my fourth baby and the first time i have ever used a chiro and i am so amazed at the difference it has made in my baby.No fussing,no colic i am so happy.You would be amazed at the trauma to the body a birthing can do and how important it is to keep the body aligned.You will not be dissapointed!

 

[kavamamakava]

Thanks Ravenmoon. I should get some more cranial sacral work. My midwife did a little when she was over here a week ago. But she probably needs it again. Nadia really made improvements after my midwife worked on her too. She was this red faced screaming newborn fresh out of the NICU with nipple confusion and slinging her 24/7 along with cranial sacral work really calmed her.

 

[Threefold]

Both my ds and dd did this as newborns, though not at this time of day 6-9pm for mine. It always seemed related to a need to suck when not hungry yet I was overproducing milk. They both were soothed by going into the shower with me or dh. There's lots of great advice here, but here's my .02, relax and just loving hold your baby as he cries(after you've made sure to nurse, change, etc), then sleep whenever he does (if you can!). <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">

 

[shannon0218]

<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> Monica,<br>
I have to confess and admit that we have a swing and it has saved my life in the middle of the night, when shes so tired and has driven us all around the bend I put her in the swing and within 10 minutes she dozes off. I honestly believe that she has let herself get too tired and too worked up, she stares at the toy that waves on the overhead bar and slowly her eyes close.<br>
Before that I was standing in the bathroom with her while the shower ran (no, she didn't like being in it,but standing outside it was good) Also she liked if I layed on the couch half propped up and rested her on my chest. I will say that things definitely turned around when we excluded dairy--it's worth a try.<br>
Good luck Mama, if all else fails, come on line, there's bound to be a few of us around--just knowing you're not alone makes a big difference!

 

[StacyL]

Get a <a href="http://www.miracleblanket.com/" target="_blank">Miracle Blanket</a> and keep your baby swaddled. It's a lifesaver! And the babies love it. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">

 

[HaveWool~Will Felt]

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<div style="font-style:italic;">Do you have a birth ball? I would put dd in a front carrier/sling or just hold her, and sit on the birth ball and bounce away. This gives a very big up and down motion that is much more movement than walking or jiggling. This is the only thing that worked for us and the best part was DH could do it just as well as me while I rested.</div>
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i too have done this MANY times....it worked for us....<br>
I would also express some milk, at the times when my babes would choke on milk, then offer my breast. Sometimes they were just too darn full...<br><br>
Also, the ears is a good suggestion.<br><br>
Hang in there mama!!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">

 

[milk_maker]

Thanks. We tried some gas drops and viola! no crying! I'm about to send DH to the HFS to get the hylands tablets. Expressing the milk before feeding him helped with the choking and I bought a pump so I can work up an emergency supply...just in case.<br><br>
Thanks for all the advice mamas...I'll be applying it over the next few weeks while we get adjusted to life. If he weren't so darn cute I could get mad at him, but I just can't <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">

 

[shannon0218]

That's good news Monica, if I can impart a small piece of wisdom from my amazing 5 weeks experience as a mom <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"><br>
Don't worry if what worked today doesn't work tomorrow, keep an arsenal of things that sometimes work and run through them until you find one that works at that specific time.<br>
Glad the gas drops worked, they helped Molly too. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">

 

[HaveWool~Will Felt]

I am so glad to hear that the gas drops worked, expressing some milk, and anything else you did along the way....<br>
It is hard and frustrating sometimes when we just don't know what else to do for our sweet little babes....<br><br>
Good for you mama....hang in there....you can do it....<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">

 

[sparklemom]

as noted by a pp, watch out for dairy in your diet! this can cause <span style="text-decoration:underline;">major</span> stomach upset for some breastfed babies.<br><br>
also, the yoga ball is indeed wonderful for calming an upset baby. every new mom should have one.

 

[tug]

glad to hear things are going better, monica. we are where you were when you first posted. before mia got sick with rsv, she was doing the same thing. then it was the rsv, and now we are back to the up all night fussing and trying to poop. i would be totally nuts if dh and i weren't sort of alternating nights. i'm really worried about what will happen when i go back to work (and can't catch another hour of sleep after dh and ds leave in the morning).<br><br>
i'm going to try all of these suggestions, too!

 

[milk_maker]

Oh Terenia...I really second kava's suggestion of the swaddling. That helped a lot last night. We're still battling the problems. I'm eliminating foods from my diet, but of course that takes time to take effect so we're using the gas drops and other advice that was given. Last night I COULD NOT get him to sleep. I tried swaddling out of desperation (he's never seemed keen on it) and he passed out almost immediately. I'll use that one only out of desperation so it doesn't lose it's effectiveness <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1">

 

[mamabeca]

Hi all - another mom with a fussy baby saying hola! These are the things I use (not in any particular order). I can usually keep the fussy/crying to a minimum at night (less than 5 min) but his afternoons are harder because they fall right at dinnertime, when dd gets off the bus from school (and hasn't seen us all day and has the energy of a charging rhino!), an various other problems (doctors appts etc.). So 3 - 5pm is our toughest time. He will also fight sleep like a devil, to the point where he will cry (swaddled, slung, etc.)until he sleeps, then wake himself up just to cry more! Anyway, here's the list<br><br>
1. sling and pace/bounce/jiggle<br>
2. front carry and go on the treadmill (which he loves but it's probably illegal) or if it's not too cold go outside for a walk (which is dicey in NY, but sometimes we can).<br>
3. prop up and put him on my chest and do the head bobble thing<br>
4. swaddle and try it all again<br>
5. pass him off to dh who will try any number of holds with him to get the gas out.<br><br>
For us, too, it was gas. He passes gas infrequently, burps a little more, but he's a gassy little fella and it's a bummer when it builds up too much. Too bad crying exacerbates the problem. Swing doesn't work for us. Car sometimes works, but not all the time (and not practical at today's gas prices!).<br><br>
I'm wishing all us mamas with the fussy babes good luck (and a bit of sleep)!!!

 

[StacyL]

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<div style="font-style:italic;">I tried swaddling out of desperation (he's never seemed keen on it) and he passed out almost immediately. I'll use that one only out of desperation so it doesn't lose it's effectiveness <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"></div>
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DON'T stop swaddling!<br><br>
Seriously, this is KEY! The swaddling is something that becomes MORE effective the more you DO it - it doesn't "lose" it's effectiveness.<br><br>
This is all explained in the Happiest Baby On The Block book, but I was a dummy and had to learn the hard way. I started swaddling ds around six weeks and it helped, but after a week or so, I got in my head that he just didn't seem to "like" it, so I stopped. BIG MISTAKE. He got more fussy than ever, so I went back and re-read the book, and decided to stick with the swaddling and - voila! I now have a totally content, remarkably happy baby. I only wished I had swaddled form the very beginning and didn't doubt it like I did. I could have saved myself a lot of anguish.<br><br>
All cultures around the world have swaddled their babes for thousands of years. The US is the first to NOT swaddle, and WE'RE the ones with the crankiest babies. Makes you wonder, huh?