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I thought I would share abit of my life with you. I don't share the intimate details of my life very often, so I thought I would share this.....maybe it will help someone, or maybe it will help me.

Life Changes
We were pregnant in the Spring of 2000 with our second child. My health was in a good place. Money was tight because hubby had an unexpected lay-off. But we were thrilled that we were expecting our second baby. Something however, went wrong in the last trimester and we ended up loosing our daughter. She was born after 11 hours of labor and she was stillborn. :0( We were devastated. It took about 2 years to get our emotions on track, we still have never returned to the way we were. We were very thankful we had an 18 month old son at home when we experienced this loss. My arms needed to be filled. Our marriage however, has never been the same.
About a year after our loss, we decided to try for another baby. To my surprize it wasn't easy. We tried for months and nothing happened. My periods were longer in between since the loss, so I went to a reflexologist who worked on my feet. She mentioned my left ovary wasn't working the way it should be. I had been in mild pain, but nothing too bad. She asked me if we had a loss and I explained. She suggested that I get on some essiac tea.....a tea designed specifically for cancer. I became afraid-just at the suggestion of the word cancer, as my Grandpa died of prostate cancer a couple years before and my Mom overcame breast cancer (And SURVIVED might I add!!! SOOOO proud of her!!! :0) I decided to take her advise and went out and bought myself a box of essiac tea. I brewed the stuff and started on the program. I was feeling very scared at the thought of anything being wrong with me. A couple weeks into drinking the tea, I noticed my period arrived on time and didn't run long like it had been. I was starting to feel like I was on the right track. I finished the program. A couple weeks later, still feeling doubtful and hoping things were ok, I was watching hubby play on his play station and starting feeling sick...oh no....the flu!! I went to bed.
My mom was down for a visit and she has studied alternative health for years. She is certified in Reiki, reflexology and has been trained in Touch for Health and Kinesiology. She was willing to help me to get my health back in order so she worked on some things with me. I was still feeling sick with this flu. My Mom went home. My period was late, but I hardly noticed because my "flu" had turned into a bad cold. I had a tiny bit of brown spotting during my cold. After my cold had come and gone, I was still feeling like the flu was hanging on and I couldn't shake it. Watching hubby play his play station each night was making me sooo dizzy and nausious. Since I had done work on my ovaries with the cleansing Essiac Tea and my Mom had helped me in other health areas, I thought I'd take a HPT just for the fun of it! I got a positive!!! I realized it wasn't the flu that I was suffering those couple weeks, it was the pregnancy "blahs's"!! We were estatic! ......and also a little worried. Thoughts of 'are we going to loose this baby too?' passed through our minds. It seemed to take FOREVER to reach the 32 week mark. Finally it was here! We went out for supper with friends that night. Still not knowing if we were carrying a boy or a girl yet because in Canada at that time we weren't allowed to know this info. That night, the exact time frame of 32 weeks, where we had lost our darling daughter, I got really sick! I didn't know what was happening until later and when I realized it was my bodys way of remembering what had happened. I let myself go through what I needed to and felt much better after. Our darling son was born 2 months later in the back of our car, on the way to the hospital! :0) (***It was quite the experience. Let me know if you would like me to post his birth experience.***)
After having him and adjusting to being a new Mom again, I felt my health was back on track. Although my left ovary was still seeming to give me pain and that side of my belly was cold when ovulation times came around.
We decided to try for another baby when Tristen was just over a year because I felt something was still missing. We got pregnant within a couple months of trying. J came into the world when T had just turned 2 years old. Wow! 3 boys!!! What a joy!! A sleep deprived momma continued with her routine, nursing her newborn, starting up homeschool again (my youngest being born in September) and trying to juggle 3 small children.
10 months after our 3rd son was born, (last Summer) my hubby got into a major accident on his way to work. I received the phone call a wife dreads to hear. At 7am, 5 mins after leaving the house, the phone call arrives. Hubby and another vehicle collided and our van was on fire. I called some friends, they came over to watch the children and some other friends took me to the hospital to see my husband. Long story short, my Darling husband had a broken nose, bruised ribs and 5 bones broken in his foot. We lost our van, everything in it, including my wallet, which I just happened to leave in there the night before, our diaper bag, car seats and all the tools to our business. We had no business insurance so we lost everything!!! We had only started up our home business 6 months before. :0( Hubby ended up having 2 foot surgeries that Summer and 5 screws put into his foot to keep it together.
THe day before he went in for his first surgery, his Mom passed away! :0( What sad timing!! We live 8 hours, including a 2 hour ferry trip away from his parents. With surgery scheduled for the next morning, we weren't able to make it for his moms funeral. He went into surgery very distraught and thinking of his Mom. Hubby ended up in a wheel chair and cast through the whole of last Summer.
If this wasn't enough of a test for us, my 3 year old was born with a hernia and it was getting worse through the stess, so a month after hubbys Surgery, me and my Mom had to take my little one in to have a hernia operation. One of the hardest days of my life.....and a huge challenge to keep it together. I barely could.....my heart was being carried away into a bright operating room and I wasn't allowed in. My 3 year old did awesome!! He was such a trooper!! I am so proud of my little boy and all the strength that he possesses! He pulled through his surgery with flying colors. He gave me strength!
Hubby went in for his final surgery a month after our sons surgery, .......yes 3 surgeries in 3 months!! I felt like I could go crazy, but I held it together. I knew I had to keep our family strong. 6 months after hubbys final surgery, he was able to return to work. What a relief. Not pain-free though, he doesn't go a day without pain to this day. He walks with a major limp.....but he WALKS!!! I am so thankful!! But he is my Superman! We've talked of me going to work, but he won't have it yet. I am so proud of him and his strength!
Well....shortly after things started returning to normal, I noticed my ovary started to pain me again. Each month is was cold and ached. I started getting alot of pain and cramping, like labor pains, I was naucious and couldn't sit or anything, my back was seizing also....it was very painful. I went to see my naturepath to explore an alternative route before I decided to see my doctor. She said I had developed cysts on my left ovary and had developed endometriosis. :0( I felt sad. This Momma had held it together when the family needed her most and now I felt like I was falling apart. But the pain was so bad, I would do anything to help ease it. She put me on some drops to help break down the tissue and to dissolve the cysts, R39 drops. She also put me on some thyroid herbs since my hyperthyroidism had seemed to flare up from repercussions of the stress of the accident etc. Since I was worn down already, I also managed to come down with a bladder infection. She put me on cranberry juice and thankfully that cleared up in about a week. My periods were and have been all over the place for the last few months. THe drops seemed to make for long periods, running at 17 days of bleeding last month, I'm assuming because of the clearing that the drops are helping with. THis month has been a mystery and a challenge. I had 2 major flare-ups I guess you could call them. Both times after hubby and I had gotten into a "discussion." I ended up in so much pain, which hit about 10 mins after we had stopped our discussion. The seizing of the tummy is like being in labor! I had to take some tylenol and lie down. It was the endometriosis acting up. My period ended up being later then normal this month. I finally got my period on day 39 of my cycle. I usually get it about day 32. **TMI** My blood is a bright orange. Not sure what is up with that?
Anyway, I just wanted to share my story with you. If you have a hug to share, I could use one! I have been putting off going to the doctor because this family has been through enough suregeries lately, but if I have to go, I will. Hopefully I won't have any more flare ups because I don't want to feel like I'm in labor every couple weeks! Lol! We are in our 3rd cycle of trying to conceive our 4th child. I would really like to have a daughter. I haven't been able to experience the things a Mom experiences with a daughter. I'm not ready to close this book yet.
Thank you for listening to my story! :0)
 

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Oh, Mama! You have been through so much! You DO need a hug
I am so glad that dh is walking again! And that ds made it thru surgery! My ds had bilateral inguinal hernia repair surgery when he was 9 months old. I know how heart wrenching it is! I hope that you are able to control your pain and get a girl on the way soon. I will be praying for you!
 

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I couldn't read that without giving you a hug
and a wish for good health for you and your family. I can certainly understand why your body has been feeling stress.... you are one strong woman to hold it together like that ! I hope you get your next little one soon.
 

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The Pregnancy and Birth Loss forum also has a lot of mamas who've been through rough stuff - the Pregnancy after Loss section is very helpful.

Be gentle with yourself.

Christine
 
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