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386 Posts
i posted a couple days ago, slightly defeated and overwhelmed after dd's osteopath suggested her sleep probs would be solved if she slept in her crib. then i erased my post, after i got a grip <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"><br><br>
but i still feel like i'm in nighttime parenting purgatory, or at a crossroads, or something like that... i could really just use some advice, opinions, anything.<br><br>
at the encouragement of a couple friends i started reading weissbluth's healthy sleep habits, happy baby. i'm reading just parts of it, as dd is 9 mo. thing is, he makes some really strong points, which i cannot disagree with. dd has a physiological need for sleep, one that is not getting met. and as a result she has become extremely clingy, needy, irritable, and generally unhappy most hours of the day. this is a complete personality 180. she thrashes and cries in her sleep. she wakes 3-12 times a night. she only takes erratic naps that last anywhere from 15-45 minutes. she'll fight going down for up to 3 hrs, finally falling asleep as late as 10 and still wake up at 6, yawning, rubbing her eyes, and crying, crying, crying if i put her down for a second (or leave her with dad while i go to the bathroom). she's exhausted. it's obvious. and i read this book and all of a sudden this difficult phase we're going through makes total sense. she's not getting the sleep she needs. i want to get her the sleep she needs.<br><br>
i'm open to not co-sleeping (though i really don't want to stop) but I'm not open to letting her cry. he recommends, essentially, letting babies cry it out for up to an hour. i cannot, will not, do this. i can't even do 5 minutes. but some of the logic behind it makes sense to me... but not enough that i can do it. i have two ideologies at odds: i do not think that being left to cry is an emotionally safe means to an end. but, i also think that dd wants so badly to stay awake that my constant attention to get her there is counterproductive. bedtime has become playtime. she will be bleary eyed, stumbling around the bed, but she still fights it. for hours. i want to meet her emotional needs, and i want to meet her physiological needs. all the responsiveness on my part is negated imo if i'm facilitating unhealthy sleep habits that are leaving her exhausted and a mess.<br><br>
i don't know what to do. something isn't working, but i don't know what the answer is and it's really driving me mad. i feel like i'm failing her. there has to be some way to make this at least a little better. what do i do? can you sleep train w/o cio? any btdt mamas have any words of wisdom?
but i still feel like i'm in nighttime parenting purgatory, or at a crossroads, or something like that... i could really just use some advice, opinions, anything.<br><br>
at the encouragement of a couple friends i started reading weissbluth's healthy sleep habits, happy baby. i'm reading just parts of it, as dd is 9 mo. thing is, he makes some really strong points, which i cannot disagree with. dd has a physiological need for sleep, one that is not getting met. and as a result she has become extremely clingy, needy, irritable, and generally unhappy most hours of the day. this is a complete personality 180. she thrashes and cries in her sleep. she wakes 3-12 times a night. she only takes erratic naps that last anywhere from 15-45 minutes. she'll fight going down for up to 3 hrs, finally falling asleep as late as 10 and still wake up at 6, yawning, rubbing her eyes, and crying, crying, crying if i put her down for a second (or leave her with dad while i go to the bathroom). she's exhausted. it's obvious. and i read this book and all of a sudden this difficult phase we're going through makes total sense. she's not getting the sleep she needs. i want to get her the sleep she needs.<br><br>
i'm open to not co-sleeping (though i really don't want to stop) but I'm not open to letting her cry. he recommends, essentially, letting babies cry it out for up to an hour. i cannot, will not, do this. i can't even do 5 minutes. but some of the logic behind it makes sense to me... but not enough that i can do it. i have two ideologies at odds: i do not think that being left to cry is an emotionally safe means to an end. but, i also think that dd wants so badly to stay awake that my constant attention to get her there is counterproductive. bedtime has become playtime. she will be bleary eyed, stumbling around the bed, but she still fights it. for hours. i want to meet her emotional needs, and i want to meet her physiological needs. all the responsiveness on my part is negated imo if i'm facilitating unhealthy sleep habits that are leaving her exhausted and a mess.<br><br>
i don't know what to do. something isn't working, but i don't know what the answer is and it's really driving me mad. i feel like i'm failing her. there has to be some way to make this at least a little better. what do i do? can you sleep train w/o cio? any btdt mamas have any words of wisdom?