[RaRa7]

My ds had open heart surgery when he was 11 days old.
He has a large incision scar as well as 3 even more prominent scars where the drainage tubes were.
My questions to you all is this:
what would you do about the scars?
For the last 4 months I have been applying tamanu oil whicn is a nut that is supposed to heal damaged skin, esp. scars.
I can't tell that it's working-of course I wouldn't really be able to tell as it would heal so gradually.
BUT I am wondering if I should use something fron the store like Maderma???
I don't want to-it has parabens in it among other offensive ingredients I'm sure.
I just don't want ds to ask when he's older why I didn't do everything I could

 

[munkeesmama]

PLEASE don't take this the wrong way, but if ds aks why you didn't do everything you coul I think there are bigger issues than the scar. I think instead of trying to find the miracle cure for the scar (there is only so much oils and creams could do) I would focus on NOT making a big deal of it as he grows. When he gets older he may ask and you can tell him that his "really cool scar" is from having open heart surgery which svaed him. And this makes him super special. Also have faith in the fact that since he is a baby that he will not know any different which will not make it a big deal as he grows. It will just be there. I think it's harder for us as parents to see something "wrong" or "different" with our children than it is for them to grow up with it. My son has a scar up his nose from birth and alarge birthmark on his shoulder. Both of which bother me more than him (he is 3 1/2) and we've explained he got them both when he was born and they make him special since nobody else has them. Only him. He likes this explanation and actually thinks it's cool.

 

[kamilla626]

I totally agree with munkeesmama!

I have about 20 inches of scars from heart surgeries and I think I might even be a little hurt if I later found out that someone was trying to minimize or erase them. My breasts are very asymmetrical because of the scars, but when a doctor told me that I may want to consider plastic surgery to make them appear more similar and get rid of my scars, I felt like he was saying, "You know that pesky ol' right arm of yours? We could just lop it off for you!"

Most of my scars became apart of me before I was 18 months old. They don't appear ugly to me. I've never known anything else. They are as much a part of me as my freckles, my funny shaped toes, or my bad eyesight!

And more than my other physical quirks, they are a reminder to me of how much I've gone through, physically; how much my parents have gone through, emotionally; how fortunate I am to even BE 33 years old and very healthy...

I can understand that his scars will also be a reminder to you of the difficulties and uncertainties your family has likely faced with your son, but I would suggest not doing anything to reduce his scars based on your discomfort. If he later decides he wants to get minimize or eliminate them, let that be his choice.

 

[blessedx3]

My daughter is 3 and has had 3 heart surgeries. The only advise I would give you is to always put sunscreen on the scar. My daughter's scars are very light now that she is older. I'm with the PP on this too. My daughter is very proud of her "scarf" (I've tried explaining that it's called a scar, but she insists that it's a scarf lol). Sometimes she shows people without them even asking about it. Without her scars we wouldn't have her, so they are a badge of honor. Being positive about them will hopefully help your son to be positive about them too. I do know what you mean about wanting to do everything you can, but I don't think your ds will ask you something like that. Just be sure not to let the scar sunburn and it will heal up nicely.

 

[CalebsMama05]

I don't have a preemie (or a baby with issues either)

but I was a preemie (7wks early) and I also have a huge scar from open heart surgery when I was 18 days old...along with one smaller scar from the drainage. I won't lie to you...I have always hated it...it was a flaw on my body that I hated to be reminded of...nowadays though its just like "huh? oh that? yeah had surgery when I was a baby...it started out in the middle of my back haha..." (its now from my shoulder blade halfway down my side)

I would say to just leave it...if you honestly want to i'd keep on what you are doing but eventually it will just be a part of his body. even if he hates it when he's a teenager.

hth's and you dont mind me posting here...I just saw the thread title and thought i'd give a different POV

 

[liberal_chick]

I've labeled ds's "NEC" (it wasn't really NEC once they got in there) scar his chick magnet scar. I can just imagine him at 16 telling the girls at the pool all about how he was born over 2 months early and had to have lifesaving surgery. LOL He has 2 more scars from drain tubes. My plan is to just not make a big deal about them. When he asks, I plan to make them seem like a great thing. I don't want him to be embarassed by them, so hopefully he'll be proud of them or at the very least, indifferent to them.

 

[acrathbun]

I just wanted to tell you that my daughter, Megan (her story is linked in my sig) is very proud of her "zipper". She will be 6 in September.