Originally Posted by newmamatobe You're an adult. Since when did you have to ask somebody's permission to go see your sister? Just remember, your daughters are seeing that unequal dynamic and learning that it's normal. It's not fair on you either. Sorry you couldn't be there with your sister. |
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Originally Posted by Belleweather Get in your car, or on a bus if that's a better option, and go. Apologize to your DH, and tell him that this is something you have to do -- even call his mom and let her know that you're dealing with a family thing and would she please help with the kids. But go. Even if you can't make it for the birth, you can be there. And it sounds like, from what you wrote, you're not going to be able to forgive yourself or your DH if you don't go. Don't let this become a huge regret and resentment -- just go. |
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Originally Posted by lisarussell he isn't speaking to me. she isn't speaking to me. she won't return my calls either. I have no husband or sister anymore. I went out hiking to clear my mind and i left him a note explaining how i feel. he thought it was all about him, a "hate letter" and true- i did tell him i hated him, but that wasn't the point of the letter. he still doesn't understand why i wanted to be there. he doesn't understand at all. he hates me now. And I haven't even spoken to my sister since her water broke. She was in labor longer with that one baby than I was with all 5 of my kids put together. She totally did it drug free and I am so proud of her. She's not happy about the C-section, she was part of the decision, but she wasn' feeling rational (duh) and I understand, but without it who knows how much longer it would have gone on. I don't think it was an irresponsible use of medical procedure- she was at 7cm for over 12 hours and in hard labor for more than 24 hours. She was moving around freely in a million positions and the baby hadn't moved at all the entire time. I have experienced that in labor. With My #3 I remember she shifted after a few hours of labor and suddenly, the game was on in a big way. A shift like that during labor in uncomfortable, especially when your water is already broken. I can't imagine being stuck in limbo like that for over 12 hours. I should have been there. Now everyone hates me. I gotta go. |
