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Any chance of teaching them signs? Perhaps if the communication barrier could be overcome then it would help to foster a relationship. Rudimentary signs can be taught to very young children and perhaps he would like to learn with his baby sister. Especially if he learns the signs and could help teach the younger one.

I don't know if it will help. My son was so mean to my daughter when she was born as well. It took a while before they had a relationship that didn't involve his domination and mistreatment of her. They still have lots of spats but the physical violence is becoming less and less. It has been rough and is a very frustrating situation.

I hope things get better. If not, I would encourage you to try and seek out a play therapist to help them both get past this.

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