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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi! I have looked around and seen similar threads but nothing quite like this. My DS is almost 4 mos old. We co-sleep and bf. DS used to nap 2-3 times a day for a couple hours each time - sometimes in my arms, in the swing or in the carseat if we happened to be out. He was also sleeping a 6 hr stretch at night then waking to nurse every 2-3 hrs after that - but getitng a total of about 11-12 hrs at night.

In the past couple of weeks, the sleeping has gone haywire and the napping is affecting his night sleep. Whereas he used to get 11-12, he's now getting maybe 8 hours at night and maybe 2 hours worth of naps (if I don't hold him). He is refusing to be put down at all. I don't mind holding him or playing with him constantly while he is awake (I am a SAHM and he is my first). However, I would like to be able to put him down when he is sleeping SOMETIMES so that I can shower, clean up, etc.

My problem is not getting him to sleep - he'll nurse down and be out in minutes. It's if I put him down - when he's drowsy, just asleep, asleep for 15 minutes, asleep for an hour - he's automatically crying. If I pat him, try to soothe him, pacify him (with a finger), even if I'm laying next to him and cuddle him, the cries escalate until I pick him up again and he's either out instantly or has to be nursed down again - if I wait too long (a couple of minutes) to pick him up and he's really gotten upset.

I've tried every place - the crib, PNP, 2 swings, bouncy, couch, floor, carseat, and even the bed (like we sleep at night). I've tried some of the NCSS solutions like leaving my scent, I've tried music, singing, silence, dark rooms, light rooms, white noise, etc. Nothing works. I can sometimes buy 20 minutes by laying him on the couch or bed but he'll wake up. I know he's tired b/c when I do hold him he'll sleep for upwards of 3 hours!!

If you ladies have any tips or advice, I would love to hear it. I guess, even if you don't, I'd love to hear that this isn't so abnormal and will eventually get better. I feel horrible, because I know he needs his sleep - especially since his nighttime sleep has been affected and his wakings are more frequent. I just CAN'T hold him for 24 hours a day and I feel like I am going to break down if it doesn't get better.

Oh, one more thing - I do sling him (I have both a pouch and a Maya) and he loves it and will sleep in it. However, he wakes up if I try to sit or take him out of it AND I find it hard to do a lot of stuff (like laundry, dishes or showering
with a sling so it won't solve my putting him down problems...

Thanks!
 

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I could have written your post word for word! I shower while DS is awake, I put him in the jumperoo and he will play in that for 10 minutes or so, and I do house work at night after he's down for the night, otherwise during the day he's in my arms. Mine is almost 5 months and a bit too long for lying down in the sling (27.5 in long) so I have to hold him. Maybe a BTDT mommy can tell us it gets better, DS has been like this for about 2 months now
 

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Yep. Familiar stage. My dd would not tolerate being put down asleep for months. When I HAD to get things done I wore her in a mei tai on my back- she could sleep and I could keep on keeping on... (as my mom always says...) I also napped with her alot. Also I quickly discovered that I could plop her on the boppy on my lap and surf for an hour or so at naptime


-Angela
 

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Firstly, it seems that most babies change their routine and get more fussy around 3 or 4 months, then again at 6 months, etc. I'm not sure if it's the teeth starting or what, but your little angel suddenly seems less content. Second, a comment that won't help you a whole lot, but my son that that needed to be held, walked, etc. constantly when he was a baby now tells me to go away. I mean we held him (including sling and snuggling against me at night) for probably 22 hours a day, not exagerating at all, for about a year. He's three now and often refuses to have cuddles in the day or night and it breaks my heart to be told to go away. Third, helpful advice, the BEST thing we ever got for a baby by far was a baby hammock. Once you put the baby in you bounce it gently up and down until they go to sleep (or go back to sleep if he wakes up when you put him in). You can hang it in a doorway so we put it in the kitchen when our third was really little so he could be around the family sounds, smells, etc. You can take it if you go away so baby still settles in his "home" environment. It would have been worth thousands and thousands of dollars to me if I'd discovered this with the second one who always had to be held. Our third is nearly 13 months now and he still has his naps in there and the first part of the night until he wakes for a feed and comes in with me (usually only an hour or two). Ours is by Natures Sway and was around $200 Aus including postage (probably about 150 US).
 

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My 5-mo-old dd is the same way, too. I let her nap on my back in a mei tai, so I can get chores done. I put her in a bouncy seat next to the tub when I take a shower. She likes to be with me all the time! LOL
 

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No advice, just hugs!


I, too, could have written your post for my DD who is now 2.5 yo. All I can tell you is - it does get better. Try your best to accept it and know that it won't always be this way and maybe your patience will increase. There will come a time where you fondly look back at all those times you snuggled and dozed with your precious babe - so try to enjoy it while you are in the midst of it. I feel your frustration though - beleive me! My 5 week old DS is the same way, but this time around I'm much more relaxed b/c after gone through it with DD, I know that this isn't abnormal behaviour and it will get better some day (just may take a year!).

BTW - DD is a very independent, loving, confident girl who sleeps just fine on her own!
 

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Yup, same as previous posters - could have written the original post. Our daughter is 17 months old and is still this way, so I can't offer any advice, just support that I know how you feel. The house is a disaster, and I used to bathe when she did, but now she's too active for that. So my husband plays with her while I shower very quickly, then she joins me for her bath. Perhaps if you brought the bills with you to bed, you could feel productive while he sleeps with you (and hence feel happier, which equals a happier baby)?

They're only little once


(I too get very frustrated some days, but I keep reminding myself of the above)

Hang in there and try to synch in with it!
Kim
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Thanks so much - it's reassuring to hear that it's somewhat normal. I just kept second-guessing myself and the only people IRL that don't think I'm nuts for constantly holding him are my doula, mom and of course DH. Everyone else keeps saying "well, you know you're going to have to let him cry - it won't hurt him." And of course, I don't believe that! So, again, thanks for letting me know I'm not alone...and that it will get better eventually.
 

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it will get better ds was allways like this word for word and no i say dont let him cry cuddle while you can he wont allways want to cuddle think of the good things of being in a chair all day and keep a book close bye ds is 7 m tomorow and is starting to crawl so im getting my hands to myself somewhat ds is wanting me so good luck it ll get easier
 

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Thank you for posting this--I read it because it sounded like the question I came here to ask myself! My 3 month old dd will not sleep during the day except on me, and I have to keep reminding myself that this time in her life is fleeting . . . and it really is a special time to treasure.
 

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When my 2 yr old was 4 months old, he was exactly the same way. I used a pillow underneath him when I BF him to sleep. Then I carried the pillow and put him in a co-sleeping crib or on the middle of the bed. It always helped me to be able to put him down to sleep. Eventually I just started to BF to sleep in our family bed and just unlatch after 20 mins.
 
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