[taravk]

So my pregnant cousin is reading Babywise.

She's a bit of a control freak, so I guess it shouldn't suprise me that this is the book she chose to buy.
I know that if it were up to her, this baby would be something fun to play with when she felt like it, but would otherwise not interrupt their lives in any way. But her H is great with our DS, and I know he has the potential to be a really good father. I prefer to assume that he doesn't know about all the negative press Babywise has received, but I can't be sure. How do I steer them away from the line of teaching in this book without being obnoxious and insulting?? She plans to breast feed but I'm fairly sure she's likely to give up on it rather than putting in time and work should it become difficult - and I know that following Babywise could help make it become difficult!

 

[pjlioness]

You might point out that he claims his teachings are based on the Bible, a fact he conveniently leaves out of the books sold in Barnes&Noble, etc., if that might turn her off. ...and that he was kicked out of his church for what he was teaching.

There are soo many sites that list reasons not to follow him. I'm sure other posters have them ready to post.

 

[kaliki_kila]

Quote:

Originally Posted by pjlioness There are soo many sites that list reasons not to follow him. I'm sure other posters have them ready to post.

www.ezzo.info is one of them. There is also a brochure there that people can tuck into the Babywise books in the bookstore, at the library, etc.

 

[CaraNicole]

gift her a dr. sears book and a baby carrier

:.... and a link to the site pp mentioned! hth

i think we should have a bonfire with these books

 

[CorasMama]

Quote:

Originally Posted by CaraNicole i think we should have a bonfire with these books

I find any book burning objectionable! I do, however, regularly reshelve Babywise to the science fiction section of whatever bookstore I'm in!

 

[girljen]

I second the suggestion for some more baby-centered, AP-based books! I would have loved to have those before DD was born.

I am also a control freak. I love order, structure, and schedule. I learned very quickly that babies do NOT operate that way!

: Maybe she needs some education about normal baby behavior so she can learn how to plan around baby's needs and leave some wiggle room in the schedule.

 

[mom3b1?]

Quote:

Originally Posted by taravk So my pregnant cousin is reading Babywise. She's a bit of a control freak, so I guess it shouldn't suprise me that this is the book she chose to buy. I know that if it were up to her, this baby would be something fun to play with when she felt like it, but would otherwise not interrupt their lives in any way. But her H is great with our DS, and I know he has the potential to be a really good father. I prefer to assume that he doesn't know about all the negative press Babywise has received, but I can't be sure. How do I steer them away from the line of teaching in this book without being obnoxious and insulting?? She plans to breast feed but I'm fairly sure she's likely to give up on it rather than putting in time and work should it become difficult - and I know that following Babywise could help make it become difficult!

What I'm seeing with Babywise babies is that they are very obedient to their parents, so the system does deliver what it promises (at a tremendous cost to the child). Once their parents are away, the most defiant worst behaved children are usually the Babywise victims. Either that or they go to the opposite extreme and are catatonic all the time, which is worse.

Go to the APA (American Academy of Pediatrics) website and print up some of the medical warnings about Babywise. YOu can probably also find the old Christianity Today articles that expose Ezzo as the fraud he is. He claims to have gone to Asbury Seminary, but that place has no record of him. I even called myself and asked them about it. If your friend is leaning toward Babywise she's probably not going to take the word of someone from Mothering, but she may take Christianity Today more seriosly as it's a mainstream christian publication.

Most of the time I find there is no getting through to these people. They want a baby that's easy to raise and don't care what they have to do to get it. Ezzo does deliver that.

Kiley

 

[pjlioness]

Quote:

Originally Posted by CorasMama I do, however, regularly reshelve Babywise to the science fiction section of whatever bookstore I'm in!

 

[Finch]

I sent my SIL the anti-ezzo info, and gave her alternative Christian parenting resources, such as the Gentle Christian Mothers website and the Dr. Sears Christian Parenting book. You gotta fight fire and brimstone with fire and brimstone, kwim?

 

[maliceinwonderland]

I dunno how much potential there is for changing your cousin's mind, but I do have a routine for my ds, or rather..I guess it's a routine for myself

About an hour to an hour and a half after he wakes up in the morning, I put him in the sling and he sleeps for an hour and a half to two hours, then he wakes up and eats/plays whatever for 1-2 hours, and I put him back in when he starts looking sleepy..repeat for the rest of the day. My little guy will only get a good nap in the sling, won't even sleep properly if I'm just holding him, but I manage to get most of my housework done while he's napping and then the stuff I need to do without him (changing the cat litter etc) I can usually squeeze in quickly during one of his awake times because when he gets good naps he's generally happy to play on the floor for a couple minutes without me.

I'm a total control freak, I need to know I'll have enough time to get atleast the most basic housework done, and this routine makes it very easy for me..and the baby likes it too! I think my way is probably a hell of a lot easier than the methods where you let the baby cry..my little guy rarely has to cry and gets lots of sleep. You should let your cousin know that if she's willing to babywear it makes life a heck of a lot easier, and you don't have to let your kid cry either..everyone's a winner.

 

[blazer]

Perhaps you just say that there are lots of books she might read and give her some other information, books etc. I generally phrase it as no "one" way is the right way and it might benefit here to read several books and get a broader perspective.
For example with BW, the only thing I took from it was the "eat, play, sleep cycle" and the value of naps. But these were also reinforced by other books that don't get the backlash that BW does. It helped that I had a first baby that came out of the womb on a schedule without any help from me, literally.

 

[treqi]

Quote:

Originally Posted by CorasMama I find any book burning objectionable! I do, however, regularly reshelve Babywise to the science fiction section of whatever bookstore I'm in!

Yup NO book burning! I think Babywise can sound good when youre preggers but then when you actually have the babe you understand.My aunt who is still using Childwise said its really hard to do it but its in the best intrest of her son

: so even if she does start it she'll know its wrong.

 

[CaraNicole]

why no book burning what am i missing?

 

[kaliki_kila]

Quote:

Originally Posted by CaraNicole why no book burning what am i missing?

I can answer this for myself, others might feel differently. Babywise is horrible, awful stuff, we all agree. But I personally don't believe book-burning is the way to go because when you limit what is allowed to be said, you ultimately end up limiting your own rights. I think education, instead, is the key.

"First they came for the Communists but I was not a Communist so I did not speak out. Then they came for the Socialists and the Trade Unionists but I was not one of them, so I did not speak out. Then they came for the Jews but I was not Jewish so I did not speak out. And when they came for me, there was no one left to speak out for me." -Martin Niemoeller