Last night was the knock-down-drag-out version of what was before a mildly amusing/ somewhat annoying behavior. After tonight, we must take a stand. But I am not sure what that stand should be, but we can't let her keep getting her own way with which one of us she wants at any given moment.
For the past week, she has preferred DH, I think, because he is the novelty home all week on spring break. When he is working FT, she prefers me. She has now started full out screaming for the other parent when the parent she does not want approaches. Really, her screams are oscar worthy. We are both equally gentle and firm when necessary. For the screaming at the reject-parent, we put her in time out in her crib. She just screamed to get out. I am not so convinced she gets why she was there.
She is an only, so there is no concept of sharing or wait your turn. We pretty much come when she needs us. She likes to be in the middle. She even sometimes gets upset when DH and I hug if she is not in the middle of it. Not always, but if she is sitting with one of us and the other one comes to cuddle, she will sometimes push the other parent away.
I do not want to raise her to think that her every whim will be honored. We respect her choices/ wants. We don't force affection. I am very big in this. You can say sorry without giving a kiss/ hug. I think kids need to have their own physical and emotional boundaries respected. Even the irrational ones they have at 2. But at the same time, DD does not get a say in who wipes her hands and face after she is done eating. This is what she was screaming at me about tonight. She wanted DH. And then the diaper change was the same thing. This I will not indulge. We just can't. It isn't practical.
I do not want to tolerate the growling (? for lack of a better description) and crying and screaming that ensues when the un-parent-of-the-moment approaches to wipe hands/ change diaper/ change clothes. We have too many things to get done in a day to indulge this. She gets her way 98% if the time. I feel like this is a line I have to hold or my life will be ruled by my 2 y.o.
Maybe it is all in my head, but I can see myself becoming resentful and bitter towards DD when she acts like this. Usually I just have empathy for her when she is having a difficult moment. Now I am starting to resent her when she acts like this. I want some in-the-line-of-fire parenting options: leave her in her high chair until she will tolerate being wiped? Put her in time out? BOTH parents leave the room she is in so she is by herself? (This is a problem we have when both DH and I are present. When it is just one of us, it is not an issue.) I want something that says, "We will not tolerate this behavior" without leaving causing her emotional trauma.
How do parents handle the temper tantrum and sometimes aggressive displays when DC want one parent over another?
For the past week, she has preferred DH, I think, because he is the novelty home all week on spring break. When he is working FT, she prefers me. She has now started full out screaming for the other parent when the parent she does not want approaches. Really, her screams are oscar worthy. We are both equally gentle and firm when necessary. For the screaming at the reject-parent, we put her in time out in her crib. She just screamed to get out. I am not so convinced she gets why she was there.
She is an only, so there is no concept of sharing or wait your turn. We pretty much come when she needs us. She likes to be in the middle. She even sometimes gets upset when DH and I hug if she is not in the middle of it. Not always, but if she is sitting with one of us and the other one comes to cuddle, she will sometimes push the other parent away.
I do not want to raise her to think that her every whim will be honored. We respect her choices/ wants. We don't force affection. I am very big in this. You can say sorry without giving a kiss/ hug. I think kids need to have their own physical and emotional boundaries respected. Even the irrational ones they have at 2. But at the same time, DD does not get a say in who wipes her hands and face after she is done eating. This is what she was screaming at me about tonight. She wanted DH. And then the diaper change was the same thing. This I will not indulge. We just can't. It isn't practical.
I do not want to tolerate the growling (? for lack of a better description) and crying and screaming that ensues when the un-parent-of-the-moment approaches to wipe hands/ change diaper/ change clothes. We have too many things to get done in a day to indulge this. She gets her way 98% if the time. I feel like this is a line I have to hold or my life will be ruled by my 2 y.o.
Maybe it is all in my head, but I can see myself becoming resentful and bitter towards DD when she acts like this. Usually I just have empathy for her when she is having a difficult moment. Now I am starting to resent her when she acts like this. I want some in-the-line-of-fire parenting options: leave her in her high chair until she will tolerate being wiped? Put her in time out? BOTH parents leave the room she is in so she is by herself? (This is a problem we have when both DH and I are present. When it is just one of us, it is not an issue.) I want something that says, "We will not tolerate this behavior" without leaving causing her emotional trauma.
How do parents handle the temper tantrum and sometimes aggressive displays when DC want one parent over another?
