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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Our daughter (only child) slept w/us until age 8. However, at 8 yrs she was almost 5ft tall and 80lbs. Needless to say, we physically outgrew the family bed and we just were not all getting a good night sleep (yep-we have a ks bed). we moved the trundle mattress from her bed into our room. For the past 2 years, she has fallen asleep in her room, then comes into our room as soon as she knows we are asleep.Herein lies the problem: at 10 1/2, she is suffering from in adequate sleep. During the day she is very tired and is the first one to catch a cold. Her teachers say she seems really tired all day. By toggling between 2 beds, she never really settles in for the deep sleep her body requires. She absolutely does not want to sleep alone in her room and I can't blame her...she has slept w/us for the past 10yrs!!! We are firm believers in attatchment parenting, but are now at a crossroads .<br>
ANY IDEAS ON TRANSITIONING A 10yr OLD INTO THIER OWN ROOM???<br>
We have considered letting her fall asleep at bedtime in our room instead of hers, but it seems that would just be moving two steps backwards, instead of forwards. When we HAVE done this, she will not fall asleep until we are also in bed (around 11pm) and she is still not getting the rest she needs. We leave for school at 7am. HHHHEEELLLLLPPPPP!!!
 

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I wonder what is disturbing her sleep?<br><br>
It seems a bit unusual for a 10 yo to need her parents so bad at night.<br><br>
As far as tiredness and sickness, has she been checked for anemia?<br><br>
Is she afraid of the dark?<br><br>
I slept with my kids long term and they vaired as to when they were ready to sleep alone.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Thanks for the input<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/bow2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="bow2"> and questions!!<br><br>
We did total AP with dd and she is super well adjusted otherwise. Even sleeps over w/friends w/out us!!! She is not afraid of the dark, loves her room , etc. However, at 11pm, she wants to be in our room or she won't sleep.<br><br>
Our biggest frustration is just that co-sleeping w/a 10 1/2 year old was not what our initial objective was<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> when we decided on AP back in '95<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"><br><br>
I am a newbie to this website <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"> All input is SO appreciated!!!
 

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My DD is younger than yours (8 nearing 9) but she now sleeps on her own. I transitioned her to her own bed by falling asleep with her at night (in a squishy twin bed!). I slept with her for several nights (maybe it was a week?), then after she'd fall into deep sleep, I'd get up and go to my own bed (or downstairs to watch some telly). We took a couple steps back along the way but for the most part it proceeded forward. She is now going to bed on her own as well although DH needs to tuck her in and not me. Her and I have good night hugs and kisses downstairs and DH and her go to her room and have tickles/laughs and she gets tucked in. If I tuck her in, she immediately wants me to stay for the night. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
I notice that any night she is overtired or exhausted she gets upset about having to sleep alone and so on those nights I lay down with her to fall asleep. You said your daughter is tired, that could be why she wants to sleep with you so bad. You need to get her back to a fully rested state before you can attempt any real change. Working with a chronically exhausted kid isn't going to get you anywhere. Take a week or two where you go to bed with her at HER bedtime in either your bed or her bed (if she'll agree to her bed you're likely closer to transitioning her to her room). She'll need at least this long to regain all the sleep she's been losing. Once she is fully rested you can start with some techniques for transition (like the one I tried with my DD or something else).<br><br>
I will let you know that it took us over a year to get the point we are at now, so it isn't a quick process.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Thank you!!!!<br>
Our update: for the past 2 nights, I have been sleeping in her room in her trundle bed ....she's right next to me but we are in separate beds. You know what? These 2 nites she has gotten the best sleep....she has been much more rested!!! I think you are onto something regarding working w/an exhausted child....she is ALWAYS on the go/ we live in a big city w/a 30 min commute to school each day. Combine that w/playing bed hopping at night and she is just done. Not exactly an ideal setting to invoke change.<br><br>
I am a huge advocate of the family bed, and I just could never see myself letting her CIO. However, we are at an age & stage that dictate more and better sleep, and the transistion just may work.<br><br>
THANK YOU!!!!
 
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