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Help!! I Need IMMEDIATE SUPPORT!!!!!! EB Toddler

919 Views 11 Replies 8 Participants Last post by  hlr
I can't take it! He's been nursing non stop this morning and has been playing with the other nipple. I have a migraine, my period and need to get outside! I need him to stop. He's having a huge meltdown!!! He wants to nurse a "little tiny bit" but we've done that 4 times already. He's crying and screaming and I need a break! I see no end in sight if we nurse "a little tiny bit" yet again!

I'm at the end of my rope! How do I get him to give me a break AND meet his needs at the same time


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Oh god, I have SOOOOOOO been there!

Some ideas:

Water--put him in a nice bubble bath with lots of toys
Read or distract yourself while he nurses
Offer up something new and exciting (like emptying a box of rice in a big bowl or something)
Cover up and don't sit down!
Special food treat? Lollipop, ice cream?

Hang in there and try not to lose your sanity! It WILL PASS! I promise!
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You know what? I'd just say he could have as many hugs and kisses as he wants, but no more nursies until after "X", that being whatever your goal is. (Say, after we get back from our walk, for example.) Be very firm, no nonsense. Do not waver. Let him have his fit. Hug him and hold him through it.

He's at an age where he can start to learn that mommy is a person with needs, too. You can love him endlessly and still have a bit of time without nursing!

Alternately, you can give him his "little tiny bit", either counting to ten and unlatching him, or putting a timer on, or whatever works for you. And then the next "little tiny bit" is after whatever activity you wanted to do.

Actually the counting to ten worked really really well with my dd. She'd nurse, watching my mouth raptly as I counted, and when I got to ten she'd smile hugely around the nip and let off.
plant monkey and monkey's mom - Thanks so much for your instant responses. I really needed some support this morning. He's not usually like this and so it has thrown me for a loop. His usually triggers are hunger and needing sleep. He had a lot for breakfast and it was early for a nap. I ended up ordering pizza and he ate 3 more peices of pizza & two pieces of cheezy bread. That's gargantuan compaired to what he normally eats. All morning long I kept offering him all the food we had in the house, fruits, crackers, quesidellas, vege's, milk, yogurt, water, juice. He wouldn't take any of it. He just kept melting down wanting to nurse. So we'd nurse.

I tried to distract him by going outside, playing in the tub, watching the animals outside from the couch, painting, reading, playing games, playing with toys, playing on the computer. He wouldn't hear of any of it. All he wanted to do was nurse, so we'd nurse.

I tried extra hugs, extra kisses, talking about it, talking about his feelings, holding him. All he wanted to do was nurse. So we'd nurse

I tried setting the timer on the stove (it beeped for another 10 minutes and then I shut it off with a screaming toddler at my waist, I tried counting down but he'd cover my mouth and scream at me to stop.

I know that I could have handled all of the extra nursing today (since that type of a request is so rare for him) except for two things 1) ds manipulating the other nipple while nursing (I can't even count how many times in the last month that I've told him no, told him why I'm saying no and redirected him - it's even a crazy amount of times during each nurse. and 2) me feeling assulted by his screaming that I was very stressed out and was afraid that one more nipple manipulation while he was nursing would send me over the edge.

So here's my question after such a long rant (thank you for allowing me that little bit of release):

How can I convince him to leave the other nipple alone while he's nursing?

He LOVES "pinching the nipple" he says he's making it cold or hot or whatever he's thinking of at the time. He loves his "nurses". I am ok with that and want him to understand that I'm ok with that. I want him to love his nurses, I think it's sweet and endearing and a great memory for him.

I just can't handle that extra stimulation. It's my own fault for allowing it in the first place (back at 6 months of age, what did I know??? - should have known better I suppose!!!) What can I do????

Suggestions, expertise, helpful hints, reasurances, anything!!

Thank you

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DD is also a nipple tweaker and I HATE it. NURSING necklace! Get one. Make one. I wear it only when nursing and she twiddles with that. Or give him something interesting to hold while nursing that he can squich and sqezze like one of those water stress balls. That works for DD too.

Is he getting sick? Growing? I assume he has all his teeth...

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I thought about nursing necklaces when he was younger but decided not to because I didn't want to wear them all the time. Now that he's older it would be easier to put them on and off. I will also look into finding something squishy that he can manipulate while he's nursing. Thanks for the suggestions.

He doesn't seem to be getting sick, but time will tell on that one. I was wondering the same thing myself. He is going through a growth spurt right now. He'll be 3 at the end of next month. Lots of things are going on with him right now that I attribute to a growth spurt. I would guess that this is part of that too.

Thanks for your comraderie. I will do your suggestions and hope that he likes them.
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I tell my dd who is 33 m that mommys booby is ouchy. She understood that from a very young age. I explain to her that it hurts we need to stop for awhile and usually it works. However, I have been tempted at times to put on a dress so she can't get to the boobs--maybe an ace bandage wrapped around you 50 times...joke. Last week she nursed a ton and that evening she had a 102 temp and I was glad that I went with her on the nursing. I love love love nursing when theyre sick its so great to be able to give her the only thing she can keep down. Good luck.
I don't understand the nipple twiddling thing. Can't you just refuse to let him and if he has a meltdown he'll get over it? I don't mean to be harsh but I'm nursing a 19 month old and any time she has ever tried I have said no, kept the other breast covered, held her hand (very firmly if I had to) and if that failed the nursing session was over. There is no way I could handle that kind of stimulation.
iamama - I agree, knowing that I can nurse him when he's sick helps me stay the course when nursing proves challenging.

Heavenly - If I would have always said no to the nipple tweaking I could probably say no today, at 35 months, without a large issue. But that isn't our reality.
My dh and I are trying to be as positive and gentle as possible with our ds and so we don't think it's acceptable to let him cry it out over this issue. Although there are days when that would certainly be easier.

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i understand you not wanting him to cry over this issue - but i certainly wouldn't consider it "crying it out" if you were there to comfort him. i also agree with the poster who said your son is old enough to understand that mommy is a person with feelings too. in our home, we don't hurt each other - this would fall into the "hurting someone" catagory. perhaps you could start by telling him he can nurse as often and for as long as he wants as long as he leaves the other nipple alone. what would you do if he was biting you? if it were me, i'd end the feeding for a period of time, even as little as 5 minutes or so.

as to why he's suddenly so much more clingy and wanting to nurse constantly - i'd think sickness or growth spurt. also, are there any big changes going on in your lives right now? moving, dh working longer hours? being left with a sitter or relative more frequently? you and dh not getting along? money trouble? any of those and many more could be affecting him.
About the nipple thing, I cover the other one with my arm or something else (like a pillow) because no matter what I do, he's going after it and it hurts like heck to nurse him as it is. He's only started that since I've been pregnant so it's not always been a problem.

He's been nursing non-stop lately too. I try to redirect him, but it's not very effective. He's asking to nurse more even in places he hasn't wanted to before (like shopping, church, out visiting, ect...). I tried a nursing necklace but he had no intrest in it. Some days I just need a break so I feel your pain!!
Eclipse - thanks for your ideas. I might try talking to him about nursing as often and as long as he wants if he leaves the other nipple alone. I hadn't thought of that.

As far as his constant nursing, it was only that one day where he was nursing non-stop. He wasn't sick and the episode hasn't repeated itself. I'm not sure what the deal was, because everything was the same as it had been and dh and I were getting along great. Although, I was on the cusp of my period so he may have sensed something there. He is back to his normal nursing now.

As far as the nipple tweaking. I guess I don't see it on par with 'biting or hurting someone' catagory. For ds it's a comfort thing, like the nursing is, and so I prefer to be gentle and positive about getting him to stop tweaking the nipple. It is frustrating that ds is taking so much longer to stop this behavior than what I was hoping for, but he's only 3 and he's still learning, and trying to remember, to control his impulses. I agree that he's old enough to understand that mommy has feelings too, that's why I'm continuing to work with him on this issue.

bwylde - Thanks for your support. I wonder if your little one senses the pg? They're so intuitive aren't they.

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