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Discussion Starter #1
<p>Okay, so here's the deal. We're VERY minimalist in general, but probably more so with baby stuff than anything. And I know that both sets of grandparents are probably going to buy gifts for the baby... more so with MIL than my own parents. My parents usually just get a smallish gift, so that's not as big of a deal.</p>
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<p>Thing is, unless I actually flat out tell them what we want, it'll probably go a lot like it did with the last baby.. where I received a lot of very nice, expensive, but very mainstream gifts for DD and most of them went completely unused (crib, bassinet, stroller, etc.). But I am SO embarrassed to say something like "Hey, if you guys are planning on buying stuff for the baby, we have a list of things we need," because then I'd feel like I'm "hinting" that they should buy us certain things. Ugh.</p>
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<p>So I'm thinking of setting up an Amazon wishlist but have no idea how I'm going to present it without coming across like I'm asking for stuff. I'm not, and we don't really need anyone to buy anything, but I would hate for MIL to go spend $1,000+ again on stuff we don't want or need. :(</p>
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<p>All I can think of is to suggest that in lieu of Christmas presents for myself and DH, we would like some of the things on the baby wishlist...</p>
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<p>--K</p>
 

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<p>Could you maybe make a few comments along the lines of "It's so nice to be on baby #2 and not need all that stuff!  It's so funny how new parents get convinced that they need so much.  We've got almost everything we need now."</p>
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<p>Which leaves the door open for them to ask what's left to buy, if they are so inclined.</p>
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<p>On the other hand, baby shopping is very fun, and if they don't actually care what you want, let them have their fun and sell it on Craigslist/Kijiji when baby comes.</p>
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<p>(And you never know when a crib will come in handy - I know a mama who went through 15 months of hell with her baby who would NOT sleep at all.  Til they moved him to his own room.  He settled in his new crib in minutes and was out like a light, and slept through.  YMMV.)</p>
 

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<p>Um, I'm actually asking a pregnant friend if we can throw showers for each other just so that we can put registry information on the invites, so I'd be interested in a way to announce it on our own, too!  I feel tacky saying, "Here's what you can buy us," like I'm grubbing for gifts or something.  It's just that rather than having people spend money on all kinds of stuff that we don't want and won't use (plastic crappy toys, a million made-in-Malaysia onesies), I would love to have a list of things that will get used and loved!  So, I guess my suggestion is "Ask a friend who won't think you're tacky if she/he will throw you a shower so you can send out your registry information" ;).</p>
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<p>Can I recommend myregistry.com?  You can add things from amazon but all kinds of other stores, too - it looks really nice!  That's what we'll be doing so we can register for the dipes we want.</p>
 

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Discussion Starter #4
<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Twinklefae</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1280514/help-i-suck-at-social-situations-p#post_16058860"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p>Could you maybe make a few comments along the lines of "It's so nice to be on baby #2 and not need all that stuff!  It's so funny how new parents get convinced that they need so much.  We've got almost everything we need now."</p>
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<p>Which leaves the door open for them to ask what's left to buy, if they are so inclined.</p>
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<p>On the other hand, baby shopping is very fun, and if they don't actually care what you want, let them have their fun and sell it on Craigslist/Kijiji when baby comes.</p>
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<p>(And you never know when a crib will come in handy - I know a mama who went through 15 months of hell with her baby who would NOT sleep at all.  Til they moved him to his own room.  He settled in his new crib in minutes and was out like a light, and slept through.  YMMV.)</p>
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I can't really sell off stuff they give me. Believe me, that would go over badly. We *finally* gave away all of the things we never used after many years, when we finally felt it wouldn't be a problem that we no longer had the items. Until then, it was just unwanted clutter.. *sigh*. And they definitely know we no longer have a crib/playpen/stroller/etc., etc.</p>
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<p>It *is* possible (as you point out) that this child (unlike the previous two) will prefer to sleep in a crib, but I'd rather not be stuck with one taking up a lot of space (even in a box) unless we were already having sleeping issues and wanted to try that route.</p>
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<p>Maybe.. just maybe.. it'll wind up going differently this time. Last time, it was my second child but DH's first, and MIL absolutely insisted on buying a bunch of stuff we didn't care to have because she felt we didn't know what we were talking about (argh). But she's mellowed out a bit since, so maybe she'll be willing to take our input this time. I just need to figure out how to phrase it, haha.</p>
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<p>I'll probably just have to "man up" (ha!) and post something on FB saying that we already have most of what we need for the baby (even though we haven't bought anything yet.. but we do have the necessities: a large bed, my breasts, our arms) so people shouldn't buy anything without checking since we don't want any accidental duplicates.. hmm. I just have to figure out how to phrase it so it doesn't sound like we're actually asking for stuff!</p>
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<p>--K</p>
 

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<p>How about" it has come to my attention that some of you might like to purchase things for the new baby if this is the case feel free to contact me so that I can let you know what we need, in our current economy I would hate for any of you to put out your hard earned money for things that would not get used", would that work?</p>
 

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<p>I decided to make a baby website that has belly pics and ultrasound pics and a link to my blog as well as a link to my registries.  It was SUPER easy to make and I was able to send the link at to family as a way to keep them informed about baby progress without being pushy with my registry.  I made it through thebump.com <a href="http://kristinandmacbaby.ourbabychannel.com/" target="_blank">http://kristinandmacbaby.ourbabychannel.com/</a></p>
 

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Discussion Starter #7
<p>Thanks for the great ideas! If I had a little more time on my hands, I think the blog idea would be perfect.</p>
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<p>I'll let you all know what I wind up doing, but I really appreciate the input :) We're moving either shortly before or (hopefully) shortly after the baby is born, so I may use that to my advantage because the majority of stuff my relatives tend to buy that we don't want or need is larger items (crib, stroller, etc.) So it might be helpful to mention to everyone that since we'll be moving -- probably cross-country -- around the time I give birth, we really don't want to have even more stuff to move.</p>
 

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Discussion Starter #8
<p>So... here's what wound up happening:</p>
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<p>MIL emailed me today with a link to a Craigslist ad in her area. The ad was for one of those carseat/stroller/baby bucket combos, purchased but never used, and a new model (carseat has not been recalled or used at all). She asked if we were interested in a carseat/stroller, since this was a really good deal (with DD, she just went ahead and bought stuff w/o asking.. I'm glad she thought to ask this time).</p>
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<p>I replied and told her that while I wasn't sure if we would use a stroller at all -- we hadn't used one with DD -- that we did still need a carseat. And the price of the combo she sent was low enough that it was only about what we would expect to pay for a carseat alone, so if she wanted to get it, we'd be happy but we'd be equally happy with just a carseat. She will probably get it, figuring that it would be nice to have a stroller on hand "just in case", and I suppose she has a point there. If nothing else, it could come in handy if DS is asleep in his carseat and we need to go in a store, etc., but don't want to wake him. Thinking back, we DID use a setup like this a little bit with DD, mostly as a place to put her at restaurants while we ate if she was napping at the time.</p>
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<p>Anyway, the email gave me a chance to tell MIL that we were being pretty minimalist this time around and we were putting together a list of the things we haven't already bought. So I offered her a copy of the list, if she'd like, and mentioned that the only large purchases we had left were X, Y, and Z (cloth diapers, etc.).. "just in case she ran into a steal at a yard sale and wasn't sure if we needed it or not". (To make it clear this wasn't a request for stuff.)</p>
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<p>We'll see how she reacts... I know she won't blow her top or anything, but hopefully I didn't come across as rude. *fingers crossed*</p>
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<p>Now I just have my own parents to deal with but that should be a lot less awkward. All I really have to do is let them know I'm using cloth diapers this time, so they don't give us a giant box of Pampers (although we wouldn't mind a small package as we plan to use disposables for the meconium days... meconium kind of squicks us).</p>
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<p>--K</p>
 

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<p>Sounds well handled.  I'm sure no one was offended. </p>
 
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