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Help! I think my friend will circ!

491 Views 5 Replies 4 Participants Last post by  carriebft
Hi all,

My friend (well, she is a friend, we used to work together, plus she watches my girls sometimes) is almost 8 months pregnant with a boy. Her best friend just had her DS last month, and he was a 33 weeker in the NICU. I asked A (my friend) how B's (her friend) baby was doing, and she replied, "really great, he was circumcised, so he must be doing really good, cause they only do that on healthy baby boys."

She acted nothing of it, so I am assuming, she plans on circ'ing her little one.

I have a bunch of information to give her in big yellow envelope, but I wanted to give her a letter first (I am really, really bad talking about this, trust me a letter is MUCH better) telling her what's in the envelope, my stance, ect ect.

But, how would you word it?

A is a very smart girl (she's 19 and single) but is highly influenced by her strict father. I know she doesn't want any harm to come to her baby, but how to convince?

Thanks gals
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I might think about writing about my journey to inactivism. Maybe tell your you found out about how circumcision harms, how it made you feel, and why you are spreading the word.
I wrote a quick sample of what I might say:

Dear ____

The other day we briefly spoke about circumcision. When I was pregnant, I hadn't given the idea any thought. In the USA, I thought it was just kind of what people did. But my husband urged me to research the subject and I discovered that circumcision is so much more than I thought. It is painful and unnecessary. During my research, I found stories of boys who had horrific complications, inlcuding glans amputation and even death. I just knew I could not do this to my newborn son.

I have enclosed some reading material on the subject for you. [allude to what is inside here exactly] I am always here if you have questions and I would love to further share my own story of raising an intact (not circumcised) boy.

I think that Carrie's idea is good...I often frame things by saying something along the lines of, 'This is really important information that so many doctors don't even know about, and I wanted to make sure you had it so you really know what circumcision is/does, etc.

Make sure you include the most recent article about the fact that circumcision removes the most sensitive parts of the penis (I don't have a link off hand, but if you search 'circumcision ablates' on Google, you'll get a link to the study - there are also links here on cac). This really is brand new information that very few doctors will know anything about.

The Men's Health article is very good (there is a recent thread asking about putting together a circ info packet and the link is there - i have a sick baby in my arms, so it's hard to google!). And if she isn't the type to mind off colour humour, the Penn and Teller Bullsh*t show on circumcision is excellent.

A print out of Feebeeglee's OKNocirc site is also very good (if you send her the link via e-mail, this site links to a vide of a circ). The link is in my signature.

Hope some of that helps - thanks for helping to educate moms to be and good luck...
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Great ideas above (although it's not the gland, it's the glans penis that's the head
). My only thought would be that less is more. Don't put a ton of stuff in the envelope that's all repetitive -- people are more likely to read a small amount of information and are more likely just to toss the whole envelope full of tons of stuff, if you see what I mean.

I would choose two or at the most three things. My faves are: (like Mommiska referenced)

the first pamphlet on the pamphlet page at

and I would definitely include a personal letter inviting her to ask any questions she might have, particularly about the care of the intact penis (which she may not know is a piece of cake).

It's hard to tell what someone's particular reasons for wanting to circ might be and the misinformation that they might have, so I think it's best to open up the conversation and make it a dialogue to explore their personal issues rather than dumping a whole lot of information on them and hoping they'll wade through it to find what resonates most for them.
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Ops, fixed!
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