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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Okay so we have done Kinship adoption before but this case is different. Here is what I know and then followed by my questions.

The child in question is my neice. She is 16mths old and is currently placed grandparents (emergency placement) but will be moved to my home on Monday as a voluntary placement (what does that mean exactly?). The accusations against the parents are drug use, mental instability, neglect, and poor state of the home.

My questions rise around some concerns. Both parents have had to do drug tests and I suspect they will have to do more as time progresses. Im unsure as to whether or not they will be positive (the birth father was definatly on SOMETHING when baby was born but I dont know about now). They are referring them to Safety Services for psych evaluations, IQ tests, and parenting classes as well as the possibility of home making courses.

My issue is that I know and am aware that the mother has a very low IQ. I believe hubby said that in high school she tested at the level of an 8 or 12yr old. I am not sure of the hubby and where he ranks on all of that though I suspect there is at least some mental issues.

What will they do if they find out she is mentally slow? Will they still try to help her or will they give up? I know that these people do love their child and I really hope this is a temporary placement (though we will adopt her if it comes to that). I know that they really do want her back and I am hoping that is a real possibility. But I guess Im trying to prepare myself with knowledge in case that isn't how it works?

I am working with the mother on cleaning her home and personal hygeine. I went to the home and while at a glance in the livingroom it looks okay, I went to use the restroom and there was feces on the floor and blood on the toilet seat. Along with that I noticed that the mother was also practicing poor personal hygeine. I am trying to talk to her about not only what she should be doing but WHY its important to keep things like that clean. And explaining to her that this is stuff that she shouldn't just be doing to appease CPS but also because it is to keep her child safe. She kinda looks at me like Im stupid


Anyway - Im a little unsure of how this is all going to work. Originally I thought it was an easy open and shut thing. But the more I see and hear (the woman wont keep her mouth shut and thinks she is helping herself with CPS but is actually saying more nad more that is not only horrifying me - but the social worker!).

What is my role in all of this. Other than caregiver am I suposed to be helping her? Can I help make recommendations to the CW about services that I think she really could use? I dont want to prolong her baby going home to her - but I dont want the baby being given back just to get sick or end up BACK in CPS custody!
 

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Has the mom been evaluated formally since school? Does she receive Social Security Disability? Does she receive services through Dept of Developmental Disabilities (that's the name in my state; should be something similar)? Check with The ARC in your area (www.thearc.org ) as to services available. As a provider, I had a client in a similar situation. We tried to provide services to help her parent, but in the end (baby's age was 2 or so), she was placed in permanent guardianship. The family includes Bio-Mom in all holiday occasions, Mom and daughter visit about once a month, and daughter at 10 understands her Mother loves her but is unable to care for her. All in all, this story had a happy ending.

It sounds like the niece needs help with daily life, not just raising the baby.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
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Originally Posted by mamarhu View Post
Has the mom been evaluated formally since school? Does she receive Social Security Disability? Does she receive services through Dept of Developmental Disabilities (that's the name in my state; should be something similar)? Check with The ARC in your area (www.thearc.org ) as to services available. As a provider, I had a client in a similar situation. We tried to provide services to help her parent, but in the end (baby's age was 2 or so), she was placed in permanent guardianship. The family includes Bio-Mom in all holiday occasions, Mom and daughter visit about once a month, and daughter at 10 understands her Mother loves her but is unable to care for her. All in all, this story had a happy ending.

It sounds like the niece needs help with daily life, not just raising the baby.
The mother is not on social security and she does hold down a job (she works at a local grocery store in the bakery) for the last 5 years or so. I dont believe she has been evaluated since school. She did graduate high school so I dont know if that means that is higher IQ than what she was when tested or what that means. She does need help in daily life as well (especially food sanitation - I believe the baby had salmonella at 3wks old) and with her hygeine and home cleanliness. Basic life skills mostly. I definatly agree there but is there any hope that she will be able to learn enough skills to get her baby back or should we start thinking more towards PMC or Gaurdianship? Eitherway Im going to give her all the time she needs to complete classes and services that CPS has to offer her. I want her to be able to do whatever she needs to to get her back.
I just feel so bad for this whole situation because I know that her and the father both love this baby so much and they both desperatly want to do what is needed - Im just not sure if they have the ability/mental capability of it. I guess its just a wait and see thing for the time being.
We helped them this past week to find a home closer to family (before they lived quite a bit away from everyone) like her father and sister. We figured more familial support couldn't hurt and could very well help them. We helped them pay their deposit on the new place and got them moved yesterday. They do not have transportation so I have driven them to the CPS office and to get drug tests done. I cannot provide all their transportation obviously but Im trying my best to help them.
Meh - I dont know what Im asking anymore. But I will certainly visit that website and see what they have going on.
Do you know if with your client that they couldn't get baby back due to non-compliance (not doing the classes) or because they just dont have the capacity mentally?
Thanks so much for your response and help in this matter. Im so torn between sheer joy and excitement of having another baby in the home - and the disappointment that the family is feeling and the sense of loss the baby must be feeling (with our daughter - she never had a good attachement to her parents. NEVER. So she adapted well and did very well once we got her. But this baby seems to be very attached to her mama and crys appropriately
). I would love to adopt her/become her guardian but I would love more if she could stay with her natural family and preserve that too!
 
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