Help! Losing my cool with 2 year old.

775 Views 6 Replies 7 Participants Last post by babybun, Mar 29, 2006

lactatingqueen

Discussion Starter · Mar 29, 2006

Okay, not that I never lost my cool ever before the recent weeks, but it was a rare occurance. And even when I did raise my voice or whatever, it was nothing like I'm doing currently. The past couple of months have been really hard for me. My mom was diagnosed on Xmas Eve with seven brain tumors. I gave birth to my daughter on New Year's morning after 40 hours of labor. My recovery time was really long. Then my mom died a month ago today. Plus I've changed my diet and started eating more raw. Life has been an absolute whirlwind. It's only natural that I should be having some mood swings or emotional issues. It was easier for a while because my hubby was off from work for quite a bit after the birth and then after the death. He took my toddler off my hands quite a bit. He worked a full week and tonight is his last night. For the past two days, I've been screaming at the top of my lungs at my son. He's been super fussy lately (he has plenty of reasons too, plus I think he is growing). I have few people to vent to and with my mom being gone, I have lost my greatest support person and my biggest cheerleader. My behavior is unacceptable. When I do it, I actually feel like I'm having an out of body experience. I know it's wrong. I know that it's not something I would have ever done before yet I cannot stop myself. This is a common sensation in relation to many of my behaviors and emotions lately. I hate the out of control feeling. I take long walks and practice yoga when my hubby is home to help out with the kids. I drink some wine in the evenings and take rescue remedy too. I just need some other suggestions of "quick fixes". Other herbal/homeopathic suggestions. I'm really struggling and I don't want to end up having to hire someone to take care of my son because I cannot handle it. Thank you all in advance.

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delicious

· #2 · Mar 29, 2006

i am so so sorry for your loss. that must be devastating. and all at the same time as being postpartum and having a two year old. wow.

i am sure your 2 year old is going through a lot, too, and probably a little harder to handle than usual.

maybe try some of the traditional medicinals easy now tea? you can give it to your 2yo, too. or lemon balm leaf tea or tincture? there is a homeopathic remedy for mood swings called sepia, which worked for me for a while, but i'm not sure if that would be right for you. i wish i could be more help but i'm sure lots more people will come along and help.

the only other thing i can suggest is to keep your toddler busy busy busy with things to do and explore. i know that's tough, but i feel like if my kiddos are bored, that's when they start doing stuff that will make me lose my cool eventually.

good luck to you. i know this must be so so hard. <3

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MrsRoss

· #3 · Mar 29, 2006

Mama. What an incredibly tough time for you right now. I couldn't read without posting. Unfortunately, I have no helpful suggestions. I am currently having a tough time keeping my cool with my 15 month-old. And it does really feel like an out-of-body experience.

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starbarrett

· #4 · Mar 29, 2006

I have a 2 yr old and a 6mo old and I am not the most patient person in the world to begin with. I had enough patience for one child, but with two, somehow I don't seem to have enough. I can't imagine having lost my mother, too. It just make me want to cry to think about it.

having two little ones is just hard in the best of circumstances. Don't be too hard on yourself. Some nights it's the best I can do to just ignore my two crying babies lest I scream at them or do something really terrible. And if I do have to address them, it comes out a scream. I have been there. I know where you're coming from.

If I feel myself getting to that point, I try to have enough perspective to change things up. I do one of three things:

1) pull out a video for the 2 year old and put the 6mo in a backpack and try to forget about them long enough to calm down. Oh, and get myself some food and go to the bathroom and take care of my needs which have most likely been on the back burner way too long.

2) I go for a car ride. I grab a snack for me and probably my 2 yr old. I go to the bathroom and I put everyone in the car. Then I play some classical music or some jack johnson or something real chill and drive around until I feel better, or until I think my husband's home.

3) I go for a walk. I grab a snack for me and my 2 yr old. I go to the bathroom. I pile them in teh stroller and go for a walk. it chills everyone out and I always have more energy after.

The common theme, though, is to take time to take care of your own needs and then do something to distract the kids so you can regain control of your mind.

good-luck! And know you're not alone!

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Destinye

· #5 · Mar 29, 2006

Homeopathy helps and Sepia definitely is a good suggestion, also Chamomilla, and Pulsatilla if you feel very weepy and for the mood swings may help too - Miranda Castro has a really good book on Homeopathy that may help in deciding a remedy.

Also Ignatia is good for grief and may help stabilize your emotions since you have had such a sad loss.

Flower Essences

Rescue Remedy - for all things stressful!

*Cherry Plum - for loss of control

Holly - for anger and forgiveness

*Elm - for overwhelm

Sweet Chestnut - for emotional anguish and grief

Anyhow you can take one or all in combination just put 2 drops of each in 1 oz of spring water and take 4 drops periodically through out the day. I know they have helped me immensely at times of stress and emotional overwhelm and two year olds are not easy at the best of times!

Hope this helps a little.

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akkimmie

· #6 · Mar 29, 2006

Sorry for your loss, wishing you the best to get through it. A lot of great suggestions here, one more I would throw in is THEA, homeopathic remedy. I used it for post partum depression and when I need a helping hand. If you can go see a ND they can help a great deal to get the RIGHT remedy. Also check out the post partum thread - I know that you have a lot more than post partum but there a lot of good ideas.

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babybun

· #7 · Mar 29, 2006

I cannot even begin to understand what you're going through.

The pp's have great advice. A walk works wonders, especially w/ a little one who will sleep in the stroller/sling. Just getting outside, getting some exercise always calms me down (and I only have one for now!).

If you feel like you need help - get it! Maybe a highschool student from the neighbourhood who can take your toddler to the park or something, a few hours a week. You are going through so much right now, and reaching out doesn't make you a failure!

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