Dh and I are generally on the same page when it comes to discipline, but he doesn't have the benefit of the years that I have spent here on MDC, and with other AP moms. I have learned so much from both sources, that I forget sometimes that he is just kind of winging it. So I thought I would start a discussion with him by giving him a little synopsis of the things I try do instead of yelling and punishing. (Well, sometimes I yell, but I don't like it!) I would love it if you would add your own and help me out. He would be more likely to read and comprehend a bullet point type list rather than an essay on GD.
Here are some off the top of my head, in no particular order:
- Instead of focusing on what the child CAN'T do, tell them what they CAN do.
- Before saying no, take a moment to think about why they can't, and if there is a way to let them do it in a safe and appropriate way.
- Empathize with them when they are upset that it is hard when you can't do what you want to do.
- Try to offer alternatives instead of just taking away an item or stopping a behavior altogether.
- If you do say no, and then realize you acted too hastily, explain to the child that you have thought about it and realized that you were were wrong.
- Make sure that your reaction is a 'logical consequence' to the problem - hitting with the stick, taking stick away.
- Explain WHY they can't do or have something.
Here are some off the top of my head, in no particular order:
- Instead of focusing on what the child CAN'T do, tell them what they CAN do.
- Before saying no, take a moment to think about why they can't, and if there is a way to let them do it in a safe and appropriate way.
- Empathize with them when they are upset that it is hard when you can't do what you want to do.
- Try to offer alternatives instead of just taking away an item or stopping a behavior altogether.
- If you do say no, and then realize you acted too hastily, explain to the child that you have thought about it and realized that you were were wrong.
- Make sure that your reaction is a 'logical consequence' to the problem - hitting with the stick, taking stick away.
- Explain WHY they can't do or have something.