[mama_tigress]

Okay, of my MZ twins, one is fat and one is thin. The difference is actually getting more pronounced; what with Toby's hospital stay and being sicker than Ari, I wouldn't be surprised if Ari weighs 2 pounds more by now (he weighed 1.5 pounds more at their last ped visit). Toby does have much worse reflux (which is SO much better since I cut dairy! yay!), but I think it's really a personality difference. Ari wants to nurse constantly. I never knew what women meant when they said their babies want to nurse all the time, but now I do! He's also more content to just sit or lay on his back and watch things happen, and he's pretty jolly and grins and laughs at everything. Toby doesn't particularly like to nurse. He just gets what he needs and goes on. He's also more active, rolling around everywhere, reaching out to touch and grab everything, and trying desperately to crawl (which Ari does too, but isn't nearly as interested). He also tends to spend more time sizing up a situation or a person before flashing that grin.

Okay, all of that is inconsequential. What I want to figure out is: why do I care? I don't care that Ari is fat, and I don't care that Toby is thin. What gets to me, somehow, is the difference between them. And I'm not understanding where I'm coming from. Why does it matter? Because they are MZ twins? They have the exact same facial features.

I guess I'm surprised by how different they are. They really are very similar to most people, just not to me or, to a certain extent, my close family. And I think it's not unusual but still not typical for MZ twins to develop such a weight difference (which is really pretty easy to see). I am trying so hard not to have a favorite, and I really hate that I do anyway. It's ridiculous and it makes me feel like an awful mother.

So I have issues, right?

 

[DeerMother]

Oh dear, mama tigress. . . if you have issues, they better lock me up and throw away the key.

I may not have time to get things done, but I certainly have a lot of time right now to sit (nurse) and think think think overthink. Sounds like you may be doing something similar!

 

[Novella]

I don't know that I can give your post the heart-felt, introspective reply I think you are hoping for. But can just stick out a hand to say you aren't alone in shaking your head about weight differences in MZ twins. Our boys were 0.5 lb different at birth (full-term 7 and 7.5). For a while, this gap was narrowing as a percentage of their body weight, because it stayed around 0.5 lb - 1.0 lb over the first year. They are now two (in days!) and are about 3 lb different.

I think it's totally personality based. The much more "scampish" one is lighter.

Sometimes I fret a bit about "the favourite". But it doesn't last long because I've noticed that my "favourite" twin switches back and forth very regularly.

 

[BoGiBoBo]

He he. Funny post. Funny because I feel somewhat the same. One of my MZ guys is definitely rounder, and you can certainly tell the difference when you carry them around.

And I'm in the same boat as Novella, my "favorite" switches back and forth regularly. I just try and make sure none of my children can tell who I favor.

Sometimes I think I compare my guys more because they are MZ. I almost search out the differences to see what they are. I think it's pretty normal.

 

[~bookcase~]

It bothers me with my DZ duo, so can imagine somewhat how you feel...

I never realised how freaky I'd feel emotionally with two babies, kwim!?

xx

 

[Shuli]

Even those of us who don't have a MZ pair feel like that. I have one that is outgoing, charming and loves to talk to everyone and know everything that is going on and one that is content to sit and observe until he is ready to engage. Their congnitive skills are also different. A childhood behaviour expert who I consulted basically said that things develop in different people at different rates and by the time they reach preeschool or 1st grade it should all even out. One is definately more verbal and says more words while the other is more physically active and does better on the cognitive level.

I understand your concern and frustration but don't worry, you are not alone.

 

[purpleheather79]

I know I have issues.

My 2 yo MZ girls are different in size and shape. They were both 7lbs, 6oz at birth. One is a pound heavier and they have different shaped faces. I always thought it was from the TTTS.

My 3 mo MZ boys were over a pound apart at birth. They still have about a pound difference between them but it is a very subtle difference now. My DH can't tell them apart as easily as he could with the girls and other family members can't tell them apart at all.

I find it so interesting how I react to them as separate people when they look so similar in appearance. Twins are such a wild ride, aren't they?

 

[mama_tigress]

Thanks everybody.

Yeah, I think having twins just messes with my head! I sometimes still can't get over the fact that there are two of them. And to me they really seem so different. The whole thing is just craziness! Wouldn't it be even stranger to have identical triplets? I read two blogs of women who do have MZ triplets. I seriously can't imagine.

 

[DoomaYula]

My MZ twins are at LEAST 5lbs different in weight. And the bigger one is also taller. However, it seems to be an organic issue: he just eats more -- or his brother eats less!

As far as favorites, ugh, my favorite is the baby because she doesn't talk yet!

 

[MollyKenzie]

I had to reply to this, because I was just putting my girls down to sleep and wondering how I could seem to have a favorite when they are only 6 months old! Its not like they are that different, and yet...there you have it. I think I try to overcompensate with the other one somehow.

And...dont worry about thinking its just because they are MZ, we dont know if ours are MZ or DZ (although they look exactly alike, we dont know for sure) so all I sit and obsess about is if they are MZ or DZ! Like it would make a difference somehow

: But I cant stop wondering...I think I secretly want them to be MZ - like it would make this whole experience that much more profound or something. I would like to not care about that, but I totally do.