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I'm having trouble connecting with my DD, again. It's been like this since she was born, really - it's been a struggle for us to connect except when she's calm, which is rare.<br><br>
I know she's bored. She's not really a "toy" kid. She likes active stuff. She's more physical than she is verbal at this point, though she has many phrases, a competent vocabulary, and is starting to string words together to make 2-3 word sentences independantly (that are not phrases she commonly hears).<br><br>
I'm having trouble putting myself in her tiny shoes, mostly because she's about as far and away from myself as a toddler as she possibly could be. She is my polar opposite. I was very capable of entertaining myself, bookish, more verbal than physical, quiet, obedient before it's even developmentally appropriate - my mother often called me the perfect child until I hit my teens. I was NOTHING like my daughter, and I don't expect her to be anything like me (in fact her adventerousness and inquisitiveness are my favorite things about her, and the things that get her in the most trouble).<br><br>
I need help thinking like her so I can engage her and connect with her. The only toys she really plays with are stacking blocks and her phones, otherwise she's outside playing in her kiddie pool, throwing balls, climbing things, chasing the dogs...you get the picture. Downtime is difficult for us. She doesn't let me read to her (she snatches the book from my hand and turns the pages and points to everything and says "What's that? What's that? What's that?")<br><br>
I'm trying to think of activities and things that can stimulate her, engage her, and make her a happier and more connected kid, but I keep drawing blanks. I've never, ever, in my life spent time around toddlers. Using myself as a point of reference is useless since were so different. Does anyone have a kid like mine? Have you gotten into their head and figured out what it is they would enjoy, how you can entertain them (she does NOT self entertain well at all, so it's an all day job for me pretty much).<br><br>
What does a toddler like her really NEED? I'm wracking my brain and coming up clueless. I've been so awkward and unknowledgeable about kids my whole life and now it's affecting my relationship with my daughter. Halp!
 

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Have you tried having playdates? You could see if she becomes more engaged in the "toys" if she sees others playing with the same things...or watch them invent new games.
 

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Some non toy things mine like:<br><br>
Art stuff (play dough, especially the toys where hair grows out or something like that. or the fun factory and they cut the strip up. Coloring, they LOVE paint, markers, etc.<br><br>
Even my 3.5 year olds don't really like sitting through a story yet. They are happier to look at picutres and show me the stuff, or I describe the picture to them.<br><br>
Does she like puzzles? My 2 year old (and the older girls) like the 48 piece floor puzzles. If it's just my 2yo I mostly do the puzzle, but she likes trying the pieces to see what fits and bringing me different ones, matching the colors, etc.<br><br>
Sand / bins of rice or beans / etc. are pretty popular, same with water in a dishpan to splash / play with.<br><br>
They love to chase bubbles and are starting to be able to blow them themselves.<br><br>
I second trying to find a playgroup or playdates.<br><br>
Good luck <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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u think tking her on nature walk would help connect you- or do something where there are no distractions go outside and paint rocks or take her for a bike ride. even simple bathtime without soap <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"> can be fun for both of you
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>anatoliy24</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9022153"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Have you tried having playdates? You could see if she becomes more engaged in the "toys" if she sees others playing with the same things...or watch them invent new games.</div>
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I've tried to find some, but the ones I have found are too far away for me to get to (I can't drive and my H has the car at work 6 days a week anyways :/). I would like to go, and try to make some parent-friends, but I just can't find any close enough. And when I go to the park I get nothing but dirty looks and noses in the air (freaky tattooed poor folk mama in a WASPy and nuevo riche neighborhood = no friends)
 

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Ok slow down with her..sit on the floor in the living room or family room and connect with her..there is no book or anything out here in this crazy world of ours that can tell you exactly how to connect with your child. You are the only one who can figure this out. Go to her level and play.....turn off the tv..comp..music...cell phone...and focus on her...look her in the eye when she's talking and see the world from her level...it's ok that she doens't like books...most kids her age dont sit still thorugh a whole book...make up the words....when she asks what's that..tell her with big eyes and act like it's totally cool to you that she wants to know what that is...make a huge ordeal about what it is that she's asking about. Get in the baby pool with her and splash and play just like she is. I know it's hard to do...but it will all come together for you all. Try it
 

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Try going on walks. My dd LOVES walking while I push her brother in the stoller. Recently, she's started to push her baby doll stoller along with us. This gives her an outlet for her energy and also gives her a chance to connect with the world and we talk about it. She picks up rocks and examines them.<br><br>
Get in the play pool with her.<br><br>
Play catch.<br><br>
Do races. When ever I'm nursing my son and dd is going crazy, I have her race from the living room to the garage door. Gets some energy out and she loves running, so it's a perfect fit!<br><br>
My dd is pretty laid back most of the time but rarely likes books read to her. She's asks about the pictures and I tell her.
 

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Give her some jobs to do around the house or yard ...it will help in a couple of ways. She will really feel like she is helping mommy, you might get a few extra things done (though don't be surprised or upset with her if they are not done right), and it will be a great use of all that energy she has. Simple things like putting something in the garbage or recycling, helping to feed the dogs or brushing them, putting dirty clothes in the hamper (even if you have to "plant" them around the house), let her help fix meals, etc.<br><br>
Good luck and <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2">
 
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