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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
A tiny bit of background...
I'm a mommy to twin sons who will turn 4 years old in a couple of days. They are beautiful and sweet and I love them dearly. I'm also pregnant, due in early October.

My husband and I were both raised by parents who yelled constantly, spanked, slapped, shamed and verbally abused us. We obviously have many issues coming from this background and have discussed it a lot over our 10 years of marriage.

We strive very hard to be the opposite of how our parents were to us. It is a struggle though, in all honesty, an hourly one for me some days. I find that my initial reaction to stressful situations is to want to yell or discipline by time outs. I feel like it's getting harder lately, maybe it's just my hormones or that combined with their age. I don't know. I do know this is not how I want to parent.

I'm really looking for some guidence. I need to try and change many things and I'm overwhelmed. I've been reading a lot of your threads lately. Some make a lot of sense to me, while others are just completely alien to me. I would love any book recomendations to help get me started, to help me understand some of even the basic concepts.

Thank you in advanced,
Di
 

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Gosh, the one I'm thinking of you may really like... I can't remember the exact name...

Becoming the parent you want to be? Can't remember author. (It's been a very long night...)

Anyhoo, the one I'm thinking of really helps address our own childood "stuff" in a way that is very helpful in parenting.

Other faves of mine:

Drama of the Gifted Child --Alice ****** (anything by her is great)

www.naturalchild.org/articles

HTH!
 

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I was raised the same way you were, and I too have a lot of issues dealing with my children. As hard as I try to be different, there are some things that are hard to change, when there is no perspective on them. As much as it hurts, I've really be trying to CONSCIOUSLY observe the things I do/say, and claim them as being wrong/apologize to my children when I say manipulative things, etc. We truly do shape our children and if we've been shaped "wrong", it takes a lot of thinking and effort to change those things. I've been reading, "Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves". EXCELLENT!EXCELLENT!EXCELLENT!! It talks about how we were raised, why it was wrong/what it does to a child and how to do it differently. Very practical, easy read and enjoyable!! Good luck.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Thank you ladies for the suggestions, and I'm writing down the books and authors to search them out.

I know the hardest part for me is to just step back and NOT go with my initial impulse. It's frustrating how hard it is for me, kind of embarassing actually. I find I'm apologizing a lot for losing my temper and raising my voice to the boys.


I suppose I am thankful that I'm at least trying to be aware of my actions and words and trying to change some things. A work in progress to be sure.

-Di
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Aira - wow, thanks for the great link to that thread. I have a pretty long list going and I can't wait to peruse a couple soon that strike my fancy. Thanks again!
 
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