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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
(Sorry this is so very long but I really need some input)<br><br>
I have a very good friend, actually my best friend for the past 18 years. She is a wonderful person who has always been there for me through my many ups and downs. Life has not been easy for her, to say the least. Her DP of 13 years (and father of her two children) committed suicide about a year and a half ago. They had a horrific abusive relationship but she still loved him.<br><br>
She has struggled with bipolar for as long as I've known her. She's been on meds, been in rehab, been seeing a psych, done alternative therapies, etc., and she still cycles very rapidly. Recently her drug seeking behaviors have been extremely out of control, i.e., she comes to visit me and steals pain medication from our house (I have some pretty major health issues going on), she drives all over the area going to ERs looking for pain medication, etc. I've confronted her about stealing from me and she apologizes and cries she doesn't know what makes her do it. However, she can't admit that going to the ERs is drug seeking.<br><br>
Her lows have been getting progressively closer together and much more concerning. She might have 5 or 6 days of "mania" before going into a week or so of deep depression. This past weekend, her mother drove down because she had a feeling that she might need her and I am so glad. On Sunday, my friend called me and told me she was having thoughts of suicide. I talked to her for several hours and believed she was okay, but still called her mother to ask her to keep a close eye on her. I wanted to get up there or have her come stay with us (as has happened numerous times in the past when she has been at her lowest) but she refused. I live an hour away with three children so it is hard for me to just pop over to see her.<br><br>
Her family (mother, two sisters, father and his wife) is planning to get together tonight to discuss what sort of plan they can come up for her and want me to be involved. It sounds horrible but we are extremely afraid that at her next low, she will hurt herself or someone else. Apparently, her two children are really suffering as well (she and I don't discuss parenting much as our parenting philosophies are so opposite in some ways). Her sister lives in town and has seen massive neglect of some type. They think the children (ages 10 and 14) need to go live with her mother for a bit until my friend gets straightened out. Her children have stayed with her mother for periods of time before while she gets her head on straight so it isn't as if anyone would be taking her kids from her.<br><br>
Anyway, this novel is to ask for suggestions. Her family is looking to me for help in this, and I don't want to fail her. I'm truly afraid she is going to end up destroying herself, but I also don't see anyway to keep her from doing it. I don't think a psych ward would help her much (I was hospitalized several times as a teenager) which is where I see her family leaning. And, yet, she needs some serious help.<br><br>
Just to be clear, nothing we suggest would be involuntary. She really wants help as well, but just has no hope that anything can ever change.<br><br>
I also am getting to a point where I love her so much, I can't watch her destroy herself and everyone around her. It has sapped me to the core so many times. I feel like I am in some way enabling her behavior as we have stepped in countless times to take care of her. But, yet, I love her dearly and can't imagine not having her in my life.<br><br>
So, wise mamas, if you have made it all the way through this, I thank you. Thoughts? Help me help her.....
 

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I'd like to suggest the Radiant Recovery Food program... Google after radiant recovery. You can pay for a phone consult with kathleen where your friend and her discuss what's going on and she can map out a recovery plan.<br><br>
I hope she is helped soon!
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> I don't have any advice as I don't have any experience with bipolar, but I wanted to comment how lucky she is to have a friend like you and the family she has. Thank you for being so compassionate. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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I have no advice, just <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> for you and your friend. She's lucky you're there for her, and that she has family that cares. Please make sure her kids are safe too.
 

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It's so good to hear about someone having such wonderful support from friends and family. I hope you all can come up with something and that she pulls out of this. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Thank you for the positive thoughts and hugs.<br><br>
I talked to her earlier today and asked her exactly what she thinks she needs. She feels she needs someone to basically monitor her life for awhile. She can't get the energy to do the things she knows she needs to do to feel better. She needs someone to make sure she sticks to a routine, someone to make her eat healthy, exercise, get up in the morning, meditate, etc. I don't know how to find someone to provide that for her.<br><br>
I've done something similar several times in the past when she has come to stay with us for periods of time, but I am not a professional and it has only seemed help her for short periods of time. In addition, my husband feels strongly (and I can understand where he is coming from) that we've been through enough this year and we need peace in our lives, which would not be the case if she was here. I'm still in a pretty dark place myself and am struggling to get my head above water in my own life (although I am making huge progress).<br><br>
Does anyone know of any type of alternative healing programs/ranches/etc where someone can go stay and do this? I've googled, but only find rehabs (not something she would agree to) or places for teenagers/kids.
 
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