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Okay, my friend is now 42 wks. Her hb midwife stripped her membranes a week ago today and she went to her backup OB yesterday who said her fluid is down to an 8 and if it goes down to a 5 she will need to consider induction. She has been 3 1/2 cm and 70% for weeks. So, a couple days ago I asked her if there was some reason she was not having this baby and she tells me that she feels it may have something to do with her "wanting my body back, because it's mine and I am wondering if I will never have this baby unless I surrender my body to the baby and I can't do that", so then I remember that she lost her virginity to rape and had to surrender her body unwillingly once before, so I asked if that has something to do with it. She said she thinks it does. Then I didn't know what to say except that she should share that with her midwife. So, she shared it with her midwife yesterday who told her that her feelings have nothing to do with when the baby will come out and to stop feeling guilty. The baby will come when it's time. Honestly, I really do feel that my friend's feelings are having an effect on her birth and I am afraid that she will have to be induced if she cannot work through her issues. Please help me to help her--all I can think is that if she has to be induced she will lose control once again and not be possibly empowered by her birth experience.
 

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I wish I had some great words of advice for you...

Although 42 weeks doesn't mean much to me, I totally agree with you and not the MW that her feelings may very likely be inhibiting starting labor.

I can't believe that her MW would be that insensitive (unless she is a total mediwife, but even still). I wonder did she tell the MW the whole story? Or did she just say general things about "wanting my body back" without including the previous trauma.

: Awaiting other responses...
 

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I have been reading An Easier Childbirth - A Mother's Workbook for Health and Emotional Well-Being during Pregnancy and Delivery by Gayle Peterson (forward by Sheila Kitzinger) and I think if one really comittted to the exercises in the book it could be beneficial. I'm not sure I can offer any advice but having the midwife dismiss her fears is pretty crappy.

Good luck!
 

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I don't know if you can get this quick, but I really respect this author:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg...books&n=507846

If the link doesn't work, the book is:

When Survivors Give Birth: Understanding and Healing the Effects of Early Sexual Abuse on Childbearing Women
by Penny Simkin, Phyllis Klaus

Also, Ina May Gaskin's most recent book (I think it's called Ina May's Guide to Childbirth) contains discussion of how being conflicted/troubled by something can hold up birth and how expressing this/being heard can really help move things along. This book is all over the place and easy to get. I'm sorry, I don't have page numbers! Maybe others know the passages I'm talking about.

The midwife is being a pill and speaking about something about which she has no knowledge. Annoying. Your friend needs listening, not being shut up. I'm glad she has you to support her!
 
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