[loving-my-babies]

ok, my dd loves to do her own shopping (with her own shopping cart and her own little list) when dh and I go grocery shopping. We are ok with this. She will make a list (drawn) of what she wants. (she buys cookies, yoghurt, juice, cherry tomatoes.) well, she was buying juice yesterday and I was trying to keep her interested in this 100% natural juice that I want her to buy and she insists (and starts crying) over how she wants THAT blueberry juice (not 100% pure natural juice) and not MY blueberry juice that I was offering.
it's in part my dh's fault because he was responsible of yelling "valentina look, here is your favorite blueberry juice" (pointing to the unwanted-by-mom juice)
she forgot about it so we switched it. i know how bad of me, but I just didn't want her to have too much sugar with artifical coloring when she can have less of that. this morning, she realized her juice was not here. she started crying and screaming on my kitchen floor. she could not be stopped..

can someone help me? I don't know what to do when something like this happens...

 

[Liz]

I would explain why you made the switch and apologise for doing it with out telling her. I would say "I shouldn't have done that." I wouldn't go on about why you did it, that would discount her feelings. "I can see you really wanted that." I do not say "but it's not good for you." They want to hear that you are hearing their feelings. And I let her get it out - sometimes my son just needs to get some negative feelings out.

 

[feebeeglee]

I think that sounds good. I agree that now is not the time for any sort of justifications of why you did what you did, just an apology.

Oh and I'd slug DH too.

 

[Elana]

I'd go with the advice given - lots of empathy ("you really wanted your favorite juice...", "you're very upset it's not here...")

Plus a very short explanation what happened.

I know what those melt-downs are like. I'm happy when they don;'t happen *at* the market, in the middle of the isle

.

I figured out a way to prevent them with my dd - maybe it'll work for you?!

We have a rule that she can pick out 1 special treat when we go to the market, BUT, mommy has to approve. Sometimes she picks a box of cool bandaids :LOL and I get away easy, sometimes she'll want some disgusting, food colored something or other and I'll remind her of our rule. If she resists, I give her a choice: you can either pick something I approve of, or I'll pick something for you that I know you like. She always understands, shopping is fine and she also learns what's healthy and what's not - info which she then shares with her friends moms, teacher and grandma