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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I had my ultrasound today, and decided we'd better look at the gender. It's a boy! I was so surprised, and, to be honest, a little disappointed. I was just really hoping for a girl, as this will be our last child. I really wanted my dd to have a sister, and I also thought this would help my son not become the classic middle child.

And...I hate to say this...but my ds has been quite a difficult child. My dd slept through the night (while we were staying in a hotel, no less) at 12 weeks, and did so until she was 18 months. My ds not only didn't sleep through the night, he was incredibly inconsistent about WHEN he'd wake up. One night he'd be up at 11:00, the next night he'd want to play from 2:00-4:00. Breastfeeding with my dd was a breeze, my ds was so big that I got plugged ducts constantly. My dd talked early, and was not overly active. Ds walked at 9 months, and still hardly talks. But he can run as fast as his 22 month old cousin and climb on everything.

Sorry for the novel. I'm sure it'll all be okay, and I'm glad I found out now, because by the time he gets here I know I'll be excited for him. It's just an adjustment, right? Right?
 

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Mama...every baby is different. Both my boys were individuals when it came to sleep patterns. They are babies, and thus unpredictable.
My first ds walked at 15 mths. My dd walked at 15 1/2 and my other ds walked at 11. Its all up to their little bodies. To say nothing about talking. My boys are both so different. My youngest at the moment is not all that verbal, but he does make himself understood. My dd has a temperment right in the middle of the two. She's my peace maker, BUT she, the female of the bunch, and the middle child, can be quite demanding at times too. We should never just assume that boys are less nurturing, sleep less, eat more, are aggressive, walk sooner, talk later, etc., etc., etc. based solely on gender. You will love this baby, boy or girl. I wouldn't worry
 

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Sorry you didn't get another girl like you wanted..
If it makes you feel any better - they told my ma I was a boy at her 7th month u/s and I am 100% girly girl. So maybe the u/s can end up being wrong?
As far as your ds has been more difficult than your dd but it's probably mroe of a personality thing rahter than a gender thing. Your new baby could end up being more like your dd.
At least you get a few months to adjust and prepare. I'm sure your baby will be wonderful beautiful and most important: Healthy
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Thank you for your kind words.

You're both right, I'm sure the 19 year old, gender studies version of myself is spinning in her grave. It probably does have more to do with personality. I was thinking about this more today, and I was thinking I was really mourning the loss of a sister relationship for my dd. But she won't even know what she's missing, and thus probably won't miss it. So that's kind of silly.

I just wish I could talk dh into having more kids. Oh well, he's worth it.
 

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Sarah,
I just wanted to offer hugs and say I understand. We are only planning on two, and when I found out this one was going to be another boy, it hit me harder than I expected. I was really disappointed that I will probably never have a little girl. I think it is normal to have some expectations, and to mourn the loss of them.

That said, within a week, that disappointment is gone, and I can really get excited and focus on all of the positives of having two little boys.

Hugs to you,
Michelle
 

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I was disappointed to find out this one is a girl, actually... I grew up with brothers and always pictures myself as a mom to a boy. Now I find myself sort of grieving the loss, not the loss of a boy so much, just the loss of the motherhood experience I always thought I would have.

But, I'll be a mom to girls. It will be a different motherhood experience. Just because it's different from what I pictured in my head doesn't mean I will love it any less.

I do know where you're coming from, and for what it's worth, my DD was a horrible sleeper... sleep and nursing habits don't have anything to do with gender, but of course you know that


I grew up with two younger brothers and I can tell you I had a wonderful childhood experience. I never really thought about what it would be like to have a sister. My family is very close. Your little girl will do just fine with her brothers, and your sons will be very priviliged to have each other. My two brothers are VERY different. One is athletic and high-energy, the other is sensitive and artistic. We all found our niches in our family. Your kids will strike a balance that works well!
 

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Hey hun,

I just want to say I totally understand. When we had our 20 week scan, we decided to find out the gender as well. I had wanted the suprise, but my DH wanted to know and so I agreed to find out. I was absolually convinced it was a little boy, and so was DH. We had a boy's name all picked out that was gorgeous and we just totally loved, and I had always felt my first child would be a boy. When she said it "pretty much looks like a girl" I have to admit, my heart actually sank a bit!! And I KNOW DH's did. I know it sounds terrible...but I think it was just the initial shock.
However, now five weeks later, and we're both really happy. It just took some time to get our heads around, and I think that's ok to admit! I'm glad we found out now to be honest!!

So just to say..i understand.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Thanks, it's true, I am already feeling better and able to think more about the advantages.

Last night, I started divvying up the girl clothes to go to various friends, and I did feel quite a few twinges of real sadness. But I think some of that is nostalgia for my dd, who is growing up so fast. And, I guess I'm sadder than I thought that this is my last pregnancy. I guess I'm going to have to think about that a little.
 

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I just want to add that I felt the same at my 20-week level II. I had had a regular u/s at the doctor's shortly before this one, and at the time I was told the baby is a boy, which was pretty much what everyone was guessing.
Also, for some strange reason, I have always felt that I would have a son, even when I was a little girl!

So, when the 20-week u/s showed girl instead, I did feel a little disappointed.

It's funny how little time it took me to get over it. I was moping around a bit the day after the u/s, and then *boom* the very next day I was ecstatic over the news.

Cograts on your boy! I know that once this news settles, you wouldn't want it any other way.
 

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My husband and I had been convinced our baby was a girl, so when we had our ultrasound and found out it was a boy, I was upset for about 2 seconds before I realized "Hey, we're having a baby! Boy or girl doesn't matter!"


I really wanted a girl because I was the last girl born on both sides of my family, but I can tell you this: I'm THRILLED about my baby boy. He's healthy, so I'm happy!

It might take you a little time to adjust to the idea, but I'm sure after all is said and done, you'll be so happy just to have a healthy baby that gender won't matter.
 

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I have three boys, and they are all very different. Just because this one is a boy doesn't mean he'll be just like any other boy. And, if he is, you have the experience to mother him just as lovingly as you do your first son. Congratulations!
 

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: Thank you for posting your story natensarah, and all the subsequent stories. I've been feeling horrible because I was a little disappointed when the tech said, Oh definitely a girl. I have been saying to myself, this baby looks healthy, the placenta looks good, the pregnancy is actually going well so far, be happy. And I am getting over it. This will be my 3rd girl, all following my first boy. We weren't planning on another child at all and I don't know why I wanted a boy except for the reasons natensarah listed only in reverse. Also, I am just afraid every time I carry a girl because of all the complications I had with my first daughter. But I am getting over it, and this will work out really well for Heather because she'll have a sister pretty close in age and room sharing will be smoother. Anyway, sorry, I know this isn't my thread.
: I am sure everything will be great natensarah, I thought my first would be a girl, but by the time he got here, I couldn't imagine any child except my boy.
 

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All of these stories have made me feel even better about not finding out the sex of our little one.
:

I am more curious this time around about the sex, but DH and I both want the surprise. I would like a girl but I know when I see this little one there won't be a chance for disappointment if it is a boy.

Sorry for your disappointment.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by seeking sisters
All of these stories have made me feel even better about not finding out the sex of our little one.
:

I am more curious this time around about the sex, but DH and I both want the surprise. I would like a girl but I know when I see this little one there won't be a chance for disappointment if it is a boy.

Sorry for your disappointment.
That's funny, I just keep thinking I'm really glad I found out. Because, as predicted, I'm already really excited. But I'd have hated to feel that sinking feeling of disappointment when I had him. And who knows, maybe I wouldn't have, but just in case, I'm glad I knew earlier.

It was really fun to not know with the other two, though.
 

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I was really upset that we couldn't tell what we were having this time. I mean crying upset!! I REALLY wanted to know!! But I remembered how fun it was not knowing with the girls, and now I'm happy not knowing.

And this DS might be completely opposite of your other one. It's amazing how different siblings can be! it just takes time to adjust to the news. I've been feeling really depressed this pregnancy too. But I don't want to be on meds, so I take it one day at a time.

Wanted to give you some virtual
's!!
 
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