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I feel like such a rotten person. I'm getting so annoyed that every conversation I have with everyone in my life revolves around how I'm feeling.

I know that everyone is just thinking of me, and being supportive and it makes me feel awful that the response in my head is always like "I'M FINE!
: "

I usually just answer "today's a great day, how are things with you?" and some folks change the subject, but some are like "no, no, are you ok? how are things going?"

Does this happen to everyone? I swear I will never, ever ask a pregnant lady how she's feeling ever again!
 

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I hear ya!

I really don't want to talk about it. I also don't want to talk about whether I think it's a boy or a girl, whether we've thought about names yet, whether it feels different than my last pregnancy, blah, blah, blah.

I feel like such an unappreciative brat, but sometimes I just wish people would leave me alone!

My sister keeps saying she's worried about me and my mama keeps saying my sister is worried about me -- what does she think is going to happen? that I'm going to explode in a flash of light? I'm not dying here, I'm baking a baby! I may be crabby, but I'm not on the verge of emotional breakdown or suicide or anything!

I know they mean well and they love me, and I just try to keep that in mind and be kind to them.
 

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Maybe use it as an excuse to ask for something you're craving - like a milkshake, or coconut cream pie, or chocolate bar?
Then continue on like "well, no one's gotten me that pie yet" when they ask in the future.

I find it particularly annoying when people ask me this, but then obviously don't really care about my answer, which a few people tend to do who we see around. It's almost like they want to hear something dramatic and horrible is going on with my pregnancy, I dunno. I just say "Oh, I'm great" even if I'm not, but I'd love a more interesting response.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by mumkimum View Post
Maybe use it as an excuse to ask for something you're craving - like a milkshake, or coconut cream pie, or chocolate bar?
Then continue on like "well, no one's gotten me that pie yet" when they ask in the future.
I like this idea.

My standard answer though is "great!" I get so sick of everyone assuming that just because I'm pregnant, I have to be miserable, or that it sucks or something. Sure it's the height of summer - but it'd be the height of summer whether I was pregnant or not. What on earth does that have to do with anything?

Like I just got off the phone with my grandmother, and the first thing out of her mouth (as always the last 9 months) was how're you feeling? Well, today I'm feeling kinda crappy, so that was my answer. She immediately jumped all over that, "why? What's the matter?" Like I was going to shatter or something.
Well, I didn't sleep well last night and you just woke me up from my nap with the telephone... how am I supposed to feel about that? <sigh>

But with pretty much everybody else I stick to "great"
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Catubodua View Post
I feel like such a rotten person. I'm getting so annoyed that every conversation I have with everyone in my life revolves around how I'm feeling.

I know that everyone is just thinking of me, and being supportive and it makes me feel awful that the response in my head is always like "I'M FINE!
: "

I usually just answer "today's a great day, how are things with you?" and some folks change the subject, but some are like "no, no, are you ok? how are things going?"

Does this happen to everyone? I swear I will never, ever ask a pregnant lady how she's feeling ever again!

anytime i know specific circumstances, good or bad, about someone, i tend to check in with them on that regularly. add to that, that pregnancy is a big deal physically, and it makes a LOT of sense to me.... i don't think you're rotten, i just think it's a big adjustment to get used to people being in your business! i'm not looking forward to it either, especially from strangers/people i'm not close too; but i know i do the same thing to pregnant friends/family..... and non-pregnant friends and family too!
 

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Commiserating too!!!!!

This is why we didn't tell many people. We let them figure it out themselves as I started to show. I hate the insincerity (sp?) factor. When some people ask, I think in my head, what do you care? If I wasn't pregnant you wouldn't give me a second thought. When I broke my ankle, you didn't care. As if a baby is some kind of disability. I also didn't tell my mother until I was 22 weeks for this reason. We don't really get along. I'm adopted and she's never had children. She really doesn't get it at all. I'm on my 3rd. If there is something of interest going on, I'll let you know. On Saturday someone who really does not like me because of a community dispute finally heard through the grapevine that I am pg. She called just to shoot the breeze. I spent the whole phone call wondering why the heck I answered the phone. She is also a story teller. She told me the nurse wouldn't let her hold her husband's hand during labor because it would get broken. She said the nurse said they have to fix a lot of husband's hands. At that point I pinched my 2 year old so I had a reason to get off the phone.

I have to bite my tongue some days to prevent myself from telling people to bug off. For some people I just say, I'm fine. Baby is fine. Nothing of any particular interest going on. I'm due mid-October. Babies come when they want too. I don't care what the gender is. Now is there anything else you need to know?

Oh boy am I cranky with this pregancy. I wish we could just appear with baby in arms rather than go through all these months of nosy baloney!
 

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wow! i thought i was the only one!
i usually don't answer and respond with a "how are YOU doing?"
it even sparked an argument with my mother...she didn't see the big deal that "how are you doing?" was the beginning of every phone call...i had to tell her that she had NEVER asked me this before.
 

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It's hard after awhile answering the same questions over and over again, and then on the occasion when you don't give the the "right" answer they chastise you for not not being so grateful. As if you have no right to be in a bad mood. But it is hard for some to see outside of the moment, past their own perspective, as if you are miserable all of the time. This hasn't happened to me yet, but it will. You aren't alone! frogautumn I think cranky is a great answer, with a sort of an evil eye for added emphasis!
 

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I agree! I feel bad getting grumpy about it, because they're just trying to be kind... But everytime I tell them I feel good, people never seem to believe me. They either repeat back what I said in a grumpy voice, or ask me about the heat, whether or not I'm sore, and stuff like that.

Noo, I feel good! I'm not grumpy because I'm pregnant, I'm grumpy because everyone keeps bugging me about how awful I must feel.

My husband gets it too. One of his coworkers is always asking him about how sick I must be feeling, and how mean and nasty I must be now that I'm almost due. And my DH keeps trying to tell him that no, I feel fine, I haven't suddenly turned evil, and his coworker just won't believe him.
 

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I really have no advice. I get the phonecalls everyday followed by the same ol' same ol' "how are you feeling?". If I say fine than it prolongs the conversation, if I say not so good it prolongs the conversation, resulting in, "No back pain? fever?... if you have fever you go to the doc. ASAP", kind of stuff, and a lot more but there is such a long list of problems, I won't spam here.

The only thing I can think of is to just be nice. It's good that you realize they're just wanting to check up on you, make sure you're okay, ect... because that is why they ask, but sometimes you jsut have to take a deep breath whenever you get a phonecall, sit down and talk to them about it.

Some people really don't have anyone to check on them and wish they had. They wish they were more excited and involved but aren't. This is the way I'm starting to see it now. I question myself at this point, "What if no one cared? or bothered to call?". It's nice not to be bugged some days but it's better than not getting that phonecall at all, because then pregnancy can become lonely/depressing.

Some days I just reply with, "I'm really tired", because I am, and then later that day or the next day return their phonecall. If I'm busy it's the same thing. I can't have time for every phonecall but now, I make sure to at least return their call if I'm not able or willing to talk at the exact time they have contacted me.
 

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I don't mind people asking me how I feel. What I do mind is when I tell them I feel good other than my back hurting a bit and they pull out the "just you wait!". That drives me up a wall.
 

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Oh I feel you.. Everyone knows I'm sick so they ask me non-stop how I'm doing. The response I have received since 11 weeks has been "YOU'RE STILL SICK!?, oh my gosh"
as if that is supposed to make me feel any better..lol. They wonder when the m/s is supposed to stop and assure me that I'll feel better soon. I'm almost 13 weeks and feeling a little bit better, so the comments don't sting as much.

I don't mind the baby name questions and such because I know I do that, too.. It's just part of our culture to inquire about women's pregnancies. I know how you ladies feel though, I can imagine after so many months of being asked the same questions you start to feel cranky.

I also think it's funny when people say things like "just you wait".. It's just a programmed saying, but yes the questions do seem to get more frequent the more obvious it is that you're pregnant. My friend was saying something about strangers touching his wife's belly and how "it gets worse the bigger you get". I think I might just avoid talking about negative stuff with people I don't really trust. I can be very sensitive and it's important for me to feel supported during this pregnancy. I flat out told an entire room of people, when asked about baby names, that I wasn't going to say what our baby names are because we don't want anyone talking about whether or not they like them. Although I am not a fan of certain names, you just don't tell someone that their baby name is undesirable. It's so unimportant and can leave the parents feeling really bad.

I wish there was some polite way of saying "stop asking me how I'm doing" but it seems like people get so offended..
I have just hibernated a bit and called people back as I feel like it. Hang in there mamas.
 

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It does get frustrating to have everyone constantly asking how you're feeling. Kind of like once you're really showing and people seem to constantly be asking when you're due, and what you're having...but I think the important thing to focus on, especially with people you know, is that they're just asking because they care.

My inlaws are the most annoying people ever when it comes to hounding me about every little thing while pregnant, but I just keep reminding myself that there are countless women out there who have to go through pregnancy without anyone caring how they're doing, and that I'm very fortunate to have people that care enough to annoy me.
 

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I wish someone would ask me how I'm doing! No one EVER asks about me, they always ask, "how's the baby doing???"

Umm. I don't know? I'd assume fine? Kinda hard to tell at this point...
 

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This sounds very Pollyanna on paper, but I really do try to remember that they mean well, and are asking because they are genuinely interested/concerned/curious, and want some way to connect to the amazing wonder of nature that is occurring right there, before their very eyes.

Yeah, very pollyanna. But it gets me through the day.
 

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YK of course I get this question all the time especially right now since I am now 35 weeks and of course getting big. I went to my ILs the other night and they all just are so surprised at how small I look and how great I do. It is funny though because I know that many of my ILs feel so terrible at this point, I guess I just do really well for some reason, but it gets frustrating. I think one of the biggest reasons is that misery loves company, people want to hear, oh I feel like dog-doo or something. IDK-that's what I discovered when I was pg with DD. I swear that people wanted me to be miserable and I wasn't.
 

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I'm so glad I'm not the only one! I thought I was just being a brat for getting annoyed. Even hubby doesn't understand though he will complacently listen to me vent. Of course people mean well but it DOES get tiring. I feel like saying "I'm pregnant! Not diseased! Leave me alone!" because the question sometimes seems to reflect the cultural attitude that pregnancy is a medical condition, especially when it comes with the "oh you poor little dear" tone. Ugh! (Of course some of these people know I had horrible 24-hour "morning" sickness first trimester and that I'm better now so they really are feeling happy/protective.)
And my grandmother ALMOST ALWAYS asks "you're okay? are you sure? you don't sound sure... what's wrong??" and when I say "oh I'm just a little tired" THEN I get the "you're tired?? how can you be tired?? just wait till the baby's here!" I ADORE my grandmother, but RARRRRGH!
And all the standard questions... no we don't know the sex and aren't finding out. No we don't care whether it's a girl or a boy. No we don't have names picked out and if we did we wouldn't tell you anyway (we're not sharing the name till after the baby is born).
And all the comments.... Yes I know I look small for 6 months! Yes I really DO feel great! Yes I really do love being pregnant! Love Love LOVE!
I feel like people are looking for exciting news and that I'm boring them when I answer "I'm great, baby's great, everything's great." I mean, what else is there to say? I'm GLAD things aren't more "exciting", people!

Added mini-vent: Now don't get me wrong, this is absolutely precious and I wouldn't discourage him for the world... but my DH asks me All The Time if the baby's moving. And I feel like I'm letting him down somehow when I say "no, pretty quiet right now" even though I KNOW that's not the way he feels.... It's stupid.....
 
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