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My dd, almost ten, has a really bad attitude about anything academic. It doesn't matter what it is or how it's presented, she just brings this ugly attitude to the table and it usually ends up with me yelling at her and her in tears <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"><br>
I honestly don't know what to do or how much longer I can continue to try to homeschool her. We took her out of ps last Jan. so we've been HS'ing for over a year. She has been dx'ed dyslexic and has lots of trouble with writing, math and spelling.<br>
Academics aside though, she just has this notion that she would rather do anything than learn how to improve her skills. I'm SOOoo not a structured schooly at home mom, we're relaxed (I have to be, I have a five year old ds).<br>
It's getting so bad that her dad agreed to take over math, even though he works late hours because her and I are majorly butting heads. She just disagrees and opposes everything I say or ask her to do. I'm wondering, where did my little girl go??<br>
Is this an age thing or what! HELP!
 

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I sympathize with both of you! Have you had a heart to heart and asked her what the bad attitude is for? Sometimes, when we are having a bad day it helps to explain to the kids that this isn't easy on me either and what can we do to make this work and it will work sometimes. I let them know that homeschooling benefits them and it's not for me if it was for me I would be getting a massage somewhere while a maid was cleaning the house! 10 year old girls seem to display this behaviour (from a once-not-too-long ago ten year old) for no apparent reason. My friend, who has 5 girls and an 11 and 9 year old, told me she thinks her girls sometimes just want her to say you have to do this and that's how it is. Kind of like they want to make sure she is still the mom kinda thing. I am not sure on that, but good luck!
 

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Focus on her strengths, her talents, her interests. There is NO reason to force her to practice any particular skill (math, spelling, etc.) now. She has plenty of time to master basic skills. She will learn these things more easily, more quickly when she is older. My kids (14 and 17) are breezing through basic math right now! And its sooooo easy for them now. My son, who is famous in some circles for his inability to spell "Bob" at age 12 is now in a college script-writing class and he is the ONLY student not getting spelling and punctuation corrections on his scripts. (I know because the teacher emails all his comments to the whole class because the teacher's handwriting is so bad that he can't write on their papers!)<br><br>
Your job is to grow her confidence and to foster a loving relationship with her family. Everything (trust me, I speak from expereince), everything else can wait.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>sweetfiend</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7932984"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
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Your job is to grow her confidence and to foster a loving relationship with her family. Everything (trust me, I speak from expereince), everything else can wait.</div>
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I wholeheartedly agree! This is the time to back off academics and focus on your relationship. Now is the time to build that up. I also agree with the PP about talking to your DD about her attitude and asking her for ideas on how things can be improved.<br><br>
Good luck!
 

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What about taking some time off from school work? Maybe try to do some fun and educational things that also alow for bonding? Maybe some trips to the local museums or zoos or libraries or something different. What is she good at? What does she enjoy? Maybe teach her to do something like knit or sew or scrapbook? I am just thinking it would sound so nice if there wasn't pressure on you both right now and you could just have some time to enjoy one another.
 

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Spring is a great time to do learning things that don't seem to be learning to the kids <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
Maybe you can get your dd to journal a bit.A sentence or two with a drawing or pressed something on the page.Perhaps she can give growing or building a try.Or try out some new sport(roller blade,skate board,lawn games like bocce or whatever).<br><br>
I was looking up huts one day to see what the kids and I could do in the yard,and this might be interesting for your dd to learn how fulani women build huts around a bed.Then build it!<br><br><a href="http://www.voiceinthedesert.org.uk/keith/archives/2006/05/building_a_fula.html" target="_blank">http://www.voiceinthedesert.org.uk/k...ng_a_fula.html</a><br><br>
This fulani page gives a bit more detail on the hut building:<br><a href="http://www.voiceinthedesert.org.uk/weblog/archives/2006/02/how_to_build_a.html" target="_blank">http://www.voiceinthedesert.org.uk/w...o_build_a.html</a>
 

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-=-=-My dd, almost ten, has a really bad attitude about anything academic. It doesn't matter what it is or how it's presented, she just brings this ugly attitude to the table and it usually ends up with me yelling at her and her in tears-=-=-<br><br>
If my husband told me that every night after dinner he would like me to sit and study the "History and Inner Workings of the Diesel Engine", my reaction would be very much like your daughters. If something isn't important to me personally, why would I want to study it, and joyfully for that matter? When someone isn't interested in something and it is someone else forcing them to "learn" it, the result is usually very negative. It is only human nature.<br><br>
I think very often, we forget that kids are people too and they have the rights to the same feelings and reactions that we do to things. What your doing isn't working, no. That could be a sign of a very good thing! Your daughter isn't a "Yes Man" like most kids whose spirits have been beaten down. I love that my kids have the right to protest and say "no" to things. Being allowed to exercise this basic human right will serve her well down the road in life as she is faced with challenging situations, as a teen for example. I think this is a very good skill for kids to be "allowed" to express their full range of emotions for their inner guidance and spirit to grow!<br><br>
In our life, we put our relationship with our kids first and foremost. Living life *joyfully and passionately* together is the goal. Nothing is more important than that. Education is important to us, yes, but certainly not before family and our connection. If something on my agenda was making my child so upset that they would cry, some reprioritizing would be necessary.<br><br>
This can be a good thing! When something feels so awful as your experience sounds, this forces us to get creative and push ourselves to learn a better way to be with our kids! It can get so much better for you both! But don't think the answer lies in something you know about already, like sending her to school. There are other ways for her to <i>learn what she wants in life</i> and keep her strong spirit in tact. This is one of the many, many benefits of homeschooling!<br><br>
~Peace & Love, Dayna<br><a href="http://www.UnschoolingAmerica.com" target="_blank">www.UnschoolingAmerica.com</a>
 

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<In our life, we put our relationship with our kids first and foremost. Living life *joyfully and passionately* together is the goal. Nothing is more important than that. Education is important to us, yes, but certainly not before family and our connection. ><br><br>
Thank you so much for the replies!! Yesterday was a bad day and we've had a few like that in the last two weeks or so. I agree, it's time to step back and rethink things, what's working and what's not. Thanks for reminding me of the family relationship and how important that is! Days like yesterday (or rather - moments) remind me of the horrible times we had with some of the homework she had in PS.<br><br>
<<Focus on her strengths, her talents, her interests. There is NO reason to force her to practice any particular skill (math, spelling, etc.) now. She has plenty of time to master basic skills. >><br><br>
I agree with this. While dh has relaxed aLOT about how we are not going to be structured 'school at home' he does want a certain amount done ('work') but even then, most days he's not really aware of what we're doing or asks. I think sometimes I get a little panicky about how much or little we're doing. We're still new to HS'ing. Just a year and a half and I keep saying to myself, that I am committed to this and remind myself the reasons WHY we are homeschooling!<br><br>
I'm going to talk with her today. It's a new day!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">
 

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Better!<br><br>
The weather has been great here and both kids were outside most of the day. She read to me a few pages and then she had a 4H meeting, a garden club and they are getting reading to plant a historical garden by this centennial barn at the fairgrounds. We found a ground nest of eggs and took pictures then later saw the mom on them (a kildeer) it was really cool.<br><br>
See, I consider all this stuff learning, it's my dh that I have to convince, he knows it's learning but he wants her 'writing' and reading, that is, book work stuff too.<br><br>
Trying to find that balance!!
 

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I sympathize, my dh is like this too. It's hard for me to trust my instincts when I have him saying "DD really should be doing more school. Most kids her age are x, y, z." He keeps trying to get her to write and do math. Sigh.<br><br>
I try to compile laundry lists of things we did, and compartmentalize them into subjects for him. Without dd hearing me, if possible. It helps, and he's relaxing a bit. It's funny...he works a lot, mostly self-imposed long hours. He feels like he has no choice in the matter and doesn't really enjoy it although he would if he had more free time. Sometimes I think he just wants everybody else to be working all day doing stuff they don't feel like doing! (but that's just in my cynical moments, lol.)
 
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