Mothering Forum banner

1 - 5 of 5 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
994 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I have a really great job. Before DS was born, I would have been thrilled to get this job and would be on fire to come to work every day. It's a nice place to work, I have one of the best bosses I've ever worked with. It's exactly what I wanted to do with this career a few years ago. But I just can't get excited about it. I want to be at home, and even after 8 months here I still wish every day I didn't have to go to work. I do the bare minimum required of me, when if I just did a tiny bit more I know my bosses would be thrilled. Even money doesn't motivate me. They want to expand, and they want me to head that expansion in my department. That should THRILL me. But I don't care at all. I can't convince myself to take this opportunity and use it. I don't honestly care what happens, sometimes I fantasize that they fire me. They won't of course, I still do a good job. Just not a great job.<br><br>
I owe it to them to do what I am capable of and I know I could make a valuable contribution to this expansion. I have the knowledge and no one else does. In fact, they don't even know HOW MUCH knowledge I have that they need. I haven't told them, because it would mean I would have to follow through with it. What is wrong with me? How can I force myself to put in the effort and not just show up every day? How can I get excited about my job again? I mean, I HAVE to be here, I may as well make the best of it right?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,367 Posts
Wow, what a tough situation. Here's what I think:<br><br>
You're right, you do owe it to your employer to be the best employee you can be. But maybe that means redefining your job so you can get excited about it. Dream a little. What would be your fantasy job, using your skills at this company? Would it be easier for you if you worked at home a few days a week? Are you more of an "inspired leader" than an operations person? Would the company be better off if you were the idea person and someone else made the ideas come to life? Are you good at inspiring other people to do great work and you manage them? If you're the operations type, perhaps tell them that you're happy to make things happen, but you'd like someone else to take the lead.<br><br>
I also see that you're due in June. It's probably too soon to announce this to your employer, but I would strongly encourage you to get going on a plan that allows you to take good time off next summer and leaves the company in a sound place, in case you decide not to return. This leaves the door open to come back in a few years and/or use them as a reference later on.<br><br>
Can you tell I'm an employer? :LOL I've also counseled lots of women friends through things like this and the ones who were most successful were the ones who were just honest about what they needed, what they were willing to do, and took the initiative to sell it to their bosses as a win/win. Most companies would hate to lose a valuable employee, even if it means creating a new, smaller position. Good people are very hard to find!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
994 Posts
Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Thanks Kat. I guess part of the problem is that this isn't what I wanted to do with my life. I was happy in it for a while, because I have no college and it was one of the few fields I could still move up in without a degree. It was challenging and interesting. But when you get right down to it, I am not a mortgage person. I have my passion, and it's not this. Working from home or part time isn't an option. They really would rather hire someone else over allowing that, no matter how valuable I might be.<br><br>
I'm really hoping to not come back after this baby. But I can't keep waiting for that, I've been pregnant twice already since starting this job so I can't count on June as my "out" date. Plus that just makes me LESS motivated. I really need to figure out some way to make it work in the meantime. I believe in this company, despite my attitude, and really want to help them. But I don't feel connected to the company or the people like I should. Thanks so much for your advice. Somehow even knowing others have gone through it and found a way to make it work helps.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
232 Posts
You say you have a passion, and what you are doing isn't it. Is there any hope of doing what you love and making ends meet?<br><br>
I went back to work when my son was four months old, and left that job when he was twelve months old to pursue a new career. I found a new position that met all my needs after three months of intensive networking.<br><br>
Like you, I was good at what I did, and valued by my employer, but I couldn't hand Evan over to another person's care every day in order to go do something I didn't feel passionate about. Staying at home wasn't an option for financial reasons, so I dedicated some time to defining a new career path that would make me feel good about going to work.<br><br>
I don't mean to suggest that there is an easy solution to your concerns. I realize there may be compelling reasons (seniority, compensation, benefits) to stay in your current job. Sometimes it helps to make a plan for the future. Maybe you could think about what you would like to do, and come up with a one-, three-, or five-year plan that will get you there?<br><br>
Best of luck.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,367 Posts
Ah, the mortgage industry. Makes sense now. I used to work in a stock brokerage and I know those offices are pretty set in their ways.<br><br>
What is your passion? When I know this I get good at the brainstorming. I'm pretty good at coming up with business models and marketing ideas.
 
1 - 5 of 5 Posts
Top