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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm brand new to this board, a refugee from babycenter.com, whose members are just nuts.


I'm a WAHM to a 9 week infant, my first. I have the greatest job situation ever (well, the second greatest - being independent of a job would be the greatest!!!): I work for a company that is extremely supportive of families, so I work from home, totally flexed hours (any time, any day). I just owe 40 hours a week, however I want to swing that.

My problem is that I am having trouble putting in that 40 hours a week that I owe, and I really don't want to give my company any less, since they've given me so much.

I have mastered the art of breastfeeding while working, so that was a huge step forward. (My work is 100% on the computer, except a few phone calls).

But when my baby is awake and not hungry, I feel frantic to keep paying attention to her and stimulating her.

Since she's 9 weeks, she's not holding anything yet, just looking. I have a Gymini but she's sort of getting bored of that. I break frequently to play with her directly (funny faces, rubbing her, pat-a-cake, etc.) but sometimes I need to get some stuff done. I'm actually a high-ranking member of the company, a vice president, so sometimes urgent things fall in my lap. And sometimes I don't have anything urgent but still need to keep working.

Since I prioritize my baby over work, work can get neglected.

And even then I STILL feel sooooo guilty, that I'm not giving my baby enough attention.

I spend all day with her... when she sleeps, she naps on a boppy right next to my tummy... I breastfeed her absolutely as often and as long as her little heart desires... but I feel guilty still.

And I don't want to work allllll day... when my DH comes home, I want to stop.

Wow, I really went on and on, but this has been tearing me up for weeks. I hope someone can help.
 

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40 hours with a baby must be VERY hard. Are you sure they wouldn't agree to less than that? If not, can you work nights? For most of us, work is not during regular business hours. It's just not practical or possible. I used to work during naps and after DS was asleep. Set aside a couple of hours for DH time, and then work at night if you can is my only suggestion. Good luck, it's a balancing act for sure!
 

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You are so lucky! A lot of moms with 9 week old infants are trying to figure out ways they can work from home, so they can stay home with their babies. You don't have that worry.
You definitely need a support network to help you through this rough time though.
A lot of us WAHMS work when the kids are sleeping or occuping themselves.
 

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Hang in there - it will get easier as you get into a groove of what needs to be done for work.

I like to organize my work into how much concentration each task needs. Some things can be done with a baby on my lap, others I need to focus on fully. Since you know how many hours you need to work, can you break down what needs to be done on a daily basis. Like 2 hours of total concentration while baby naps, 2 hours of partial concentration while baby plays nearby, 2 hours of limited concentration while baby nurses...etc.

I don't mean that you will necessarily have a 2-hour block at a time, just that perhaps you can add up the time over the course of the day. Stay flexible, break your work into small chunks that can be done when you get a few minutes. Plan and change plans throughout the day. If baby drops off to sleep unexpectedly, have a total concentration project ready to go. If she/he wakes early, adjust your work plan accordingly. If you can do a couple hours in the evening or at night that will free up more time during the day.

Have you tried working with baby in a sling or carrier? I brought my dd to my office until she was 18 months and I was able to get quite a bit of computer work done with her in a front or back carrier. Also, even if she is just nearby on a blanket, hearing your voice, seeing and smelling you is still stimulating for her.

You might want to explore options for reducing your work load, as 40 hours is a lot of time if you want to exclude evenings and weekends from your schedule. Probably not many part-time vice president positions available
:
 

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Have you considered bringing in someone for a small block of time each day or a couple days a week to watch DD for you so you can get things done? I know being a WAHM typically means no day care, but if the situation is such that you can't get done what your employer needs, it just might be the solution. If you bring in a trusted family member or friend to help out, your DD will be near if she really needs you (or you need her
) and you'll be able to get your work done. I know my mother would jump at the chance to see/play with my DS a couple hours every day.

It's just an option!
 

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I agree. When I started my business I had no idea how much work it would actually be. We are hiring a mother's helper to come in a play with elijah while I get some work done. I feel totally ok with this. Traditionally women NEVER were just alone by themselves all day with a little one. There were always women and children around to hold and help with the baby.

Why do we have to go it alone to be good mothers?

I think it is important for little ones to be with several people a lot of the time, not just mom and sometimes day, kwim?

Anyways, most of my work for karma baby is on the computer so when he was smaller he would always nap in the sling while I sat at the computer on a fit ball. He loved it, it lulled him to sleep, and he got to be close to me. I ahted leaving him anywhere very long.
Email me if you just want to talk about it!
Good luck mama, you are doing great so far!
Stacey
 

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I have to agree with the sling or carrier, also I nurse with my boppy pillow while at the computer, it works great.
Also for some stimuli try a cd player with some classical music. My kids always loved music. Also a mirror babies LOVE faces!!

Just remember you are doing what feels best, trust your momma gut!!
 

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I would think about bringing in a family member or hire a high school or college aged girl to play with the baby so that you can get a few hours of work done each day uninterrupted.

When I was writing my first book I had a college girl come over in the morning from 8am to noon. She just adored my daughter and they would just play and laugh and it was all good. I was in the house with them so I was still "around" just not directly responsible for my daughter during those hours.

At first I felt so guilty leaving her in the care of someone else, but then I saw how much she enjoyed having this person come over to play with her. She got really excited each day when she saw her coming and I realized that it was okay to let those four hours be with someone else.

Also, realize that 40 hours at home is more like 60 hours in the office. Studies show that only about 2-3 hours per day of REAL work gets done when you are in an office environment (due to all the social contact). Being at home and working, you are probably doing twice as much as you would be doing if you worked at the office.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Thanks everyone!

Wonderful, thoughtful comments... so different from the other board


I will see about maybe getting a high school girl in for a couple hours a few times a week, that sounds good.

It's funny, I think I could totally make this work if my DH worked at home too. It's sort of theoretically possible. He works for the same company. Only problem is, the company is still small, and we're the 2 ranking people in the office, so one of us needs to be around. As we grow, however, I think maybe we can arrange both working from home. That way it would be easier to work over a longer period of time during the day, and pass the baby back and forth as needed for conference calls, cranky times, urgent issues, or just break times to be with baby.
 

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At the risk of sounding like a broken record (and there are plenty of us who do this here on MDC) my first thought was maybe you could use a carrier; that way you can do some things at the same time (cleaning and holding/bonding). It can be rather rewarding for you as well as stimulating for the baby. Nine months is a great age.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Yeah, I actually have 2 carriers - but I sit at the computer all day, so kind of moot. She nuzzles right next to me on my boppy when she naps or feeds. Carriers are best for active work, I think - cleaning, farming, door-to-door sales . . .
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by laohaire
Carriers are best for active work, I think
Yeah, I believe so - or at least for us. Isabel won't be in the mei tai if I am standing for too long or sitting at all.
 
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