Help!!! Must There Be a Freak-Out Before Bedtime?

608 Views 2 Replies 3 Participants Last post by spu, Oct 3, 2003

twins papa

Discussion Starter · Sep 30, 2003

Howdy Folks!
Papa to twin boys here (9 mo.). And, every night before sleep, regardless of the approach we take, or the naps they've had, or what they've eaten (still 98% bf), or the routine we follow, or where they sleep (we currently co-sleep, but have tried every variation except a crib), there is a major ear-blasting screaming match before they finally submit to their own exhaustion. We've tried waiting until the clearly exhibit cues of tiredness before coaxing them to sleep. We've tried putting them to bed at 7pm, 8pm, 9pm, and 10pm. But, now more than ever, they can't seem to go down peacefully, and it's beginning to feel like we're doing something wrong. We're not even asking for the "sleep through the night" bit. Since they're nursing, it seems to make sense that they'll need to wake once in a while. But, is it possible for them to have a peaceful transition into dreamland? I'm actually beginning to get worried that they will start to have a negative association with sleep because each night seems so traumatic. Generally, each babe is better when he is with DM (they seem to be going through the "I want DM and only DM" thing), but it is still a struggle either way. Nursing to sleep seems to work the best, but that makes it really tough on whomever gets chosen to nurse second.
Anyone had similar experiences? Any advice? Anyone had a totally opposite experience and have something to add?

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Quaniliaz

· #2 · Oct 2, 2003

I feel your pain.

I am writing this at 11:35pm, with my 10 mo. dd on my lap. She's not sleeping, she's chewing on a pen.

I'm avoiding the melt-down by just not trying to put her to bed until she's super tired (not that that always works, but seems to at this time). But for the past few nights we've struggled for hours with her to get her to go to sleep.....argh.

I have no advice - just empathy. And thankfulness that I have only one hysterical baby to dance with....

Wishing you two happily sleepy babies....

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spu

· #3 · Oct 3, 2003

hey there, twins papa, I'm a twins mama of 14 month old girls, and we could have written the same exact thing as you! I actually started to chuckle when I read your post. We're going through the same exact thing. My bf babies only fall asleep (for nights and for naps) lying on top of mama nursing away. We've tried everything you mentioned. I find from talking with some of my friends from LLL that it's an age thing and they'll out grow it at some point (when???) They say from 12-18m, they're incredibly attached, and as they start to venture out into independence land, they need to come home to safety more often. I don't have any suggestions, but can offer comfort in that you're not alone.

susan

twin girls
charlotte + else
7.20.02

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