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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I am so torn... My Son Chase just turned 6 & has never spent a day not in our bed, my husband has decided that as soon as kindergarten is out for summer break, Chase will move into his own room. This has been the plan for the last 6 months... Chase doesn't want to leave our bed & quite frankly I don't want him gone either. I love being close to my Son.<br><br>
What do I do? Ugh. How do I make the transition to his own room easier on my little man?
 

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Does he have to go directly to his own room? Could you start out with a separate bed for him in your room?<br><br><br>
chelko
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Theres no room for another bed, we have a california king & a small room. I have no idea what I am gonna do. I talk to him everyday about how it's almost time to sleep in his big boy bed & how as long as he starts out in his bed he can come into our bed if he wakes up. UGh.
 

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I would start at the very least with a mattress on the floor in your room. You can push it under your bed when not in use. After 6 years of only mom & dad's bed I think you may run into issues trying to move him directly into his own bed in his own room.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>lucyem</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">After 6 years of only mom & dad's bed I think you may run into issues trying to move him directly into his<br>
own bed in his own room.</div>
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I agree with this. But the transition period does not have to be long. I would find some way to have him stay in your room, but not in your bed for a bit.<br><br>
Meanwhile you can still set up his own room (or have you already done so?) so that it will become familiar to him, and maybe he will want to try it out sometime soon.<br><br><br>
Good luck!<br><br>
Chelko
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Chase has had his own room since birth. He was born with a rare heart condition & had apnea so we have always kept him very close. His heart condition is now gone so there is no medical "need" to have him close anymore.<br><br>
His room is awesome... kids freak out when they go in there, he has everything, it's very inviting & his bed is huge like ours.<br><br>
I thought maybe me starting out in there with him but that might cause problems too.<br><br>
Ugh.<br><br>
Maybe I will set him up a sleeping bag on the floor...
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Oh & thank you all so much for the helpful ideas! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">
 

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Is there a reason your dh wants him out so bad? Is he willing to take steps to ease the transition, like letting him camp out on your floor for awhile, or one of you sleeping in there with him for awhile?<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> Good luck
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
He wants to be able to hold me at night, thinks our "sex" life suffers because Chase is between us. It's also because friends & family think it's wrong to co-sleep. I don't really give a crap what anyone thinks. Dh is totally willing to help make this a workabe & easy transition for Chase.<br><br>
Im just not sure where to begin.
 

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Oh, I see.<br>
Well, our 4 and 3 year olds just moved into their own room a couple of months ago. It wasn't bad because it was their idea, but we just lay with them until they are asleep, reading books and talking. Then if they wake in the night we either take them back to bed and lay with themfor awhile, or, if we're feeling really lazy we let them stay with us. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"><br>
I would try something like that and see if he adjusts. Sorry I can't be of more help!
 

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I don't know how helpful this is, but maybe the fact that he has a big room with lots of stuff and a big bed makes him want to sleep in his own room/bed <i>less</i>? It seems to me like a bigger bed would feel lonelier than a small one when you're the only one in it KWIM? And at night in the dark a large room with a lot of stuff can seem really intimdating. Maybe a small cozy-type space would help?
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
He absolutely adores his room, when my teenage sister stays the night he sleeps in there with her. He has slept in there with me when we have accidentally fallen asleep. His bed room & bed room set was his grandmothers, then his Daddys & now his, it's the set we had when he was a baby so he knows it & is used to it. I feel like I am just making excuses... I have no idea for what but I swear I never, ever thought this was gonna be so hard.<br><br>
Thank you so very much Mamas for all your input.<br><br>
xoxo - Rachelle
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">s! My six year old is still in our room. We have a futon mattress set aganist the wall so it is not very big and our king is up against it. She sleeps there, daddy, mommy and brother in the big bed. Now we are planning to put her to sleep in her room and put a blanket where the futon is now in case she wakes up.<br><br>
She really doesn't want to go, but it feels like it is time. She is very spirited and I truelly believe that she will never leave on her own. We are taking baby steps and being careful not to upset her balance (and therefore start the screaming <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">)<br><br>
One of the things that I did is rearrange her room with a book called "Feng Shui for Children's Spaces" by Wydra. It had some great ideas to make her room inviting and since then she is spending much more time in there. A couple of the great tips is that children should not have to move their heads to see out the door and that there should be nature music. Also an adult sized chair for you to sit in while they are going to sleep (read or knit or something). I recommend the book for the whole house!<br><br>
For the record though she was in her own room for a while till brother was born and then needed to be with us again.<br><br>
I hope your move goes well.<br><br>
Victorian
 

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I would start sleeping just the first part of the night with him in his room. Get him settled, lay down with him, develop a new nighttime routine. Is his bed or room ffar away from yours? I just transitioned my 3y old to his own bed with no problem <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> I do think it will happen when they are ready though. With my 3y old, we had moved him to a toddler bed beside us around 2.<br>
heather
 

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you said that you sleeping in the room with him for the first part of the night might not be a good idea - why do you think that? i just mean that obviously you know your son better than we do so maybe there's a real reason that won't work for you...otherwise, if it's just a general fear/worry that it won't work i think you should really give it a try...i've heard that it can really help with the transition...it can at least give you and your hubby some of the alone time DH is craving, and once you're actually unconscious you can still share your bed with DS if he comes in in the middle of the night...best of both worlds, you know? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
His room has good feng shui I think, he can see the door from the bed no matter where he is on it. I have a big bean bag chair that I sit on & play video games with him.<br><br>
His room is directly next to ours. Our doors have a 2 inch space between them.<br><br>
The reason I don't start out in his room with him is because I will fall asleep & then were defeating the purpose, I'll be even farther away from dh.<br><br>
Ugh!<br><br>
Thank you all for your advice! It's awesome to have such great Mamas around! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">
 
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