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I have a very, well, BOYISH 2 year old. He is very rambunctious (sp) and he expresses his love through headbutts, squeezes and laying himself over the baby. He does also kiss her, lightly hug and stroke her head, but if we aren't watching him he will get excited, jump around and I'm afraid he's going to really hurt the baby. In all honesty, I've been too afraid to leave my baby anywhere within his reach and she's been spending most of her time in my arms or in the sling. BUt then again I'm worried that my constant holding of her is fueling jealousy in him, but if I put her down to spend some one on one time with him, he'd rather be playing with her. If I try to keep him from her because he's being too wild, he starts to cry and is very dissapointed. I'm at a loss!<br><br>
My daughter (who is 3.5) has been amazing with her new little sister and she will actually sheild her brother from the baby and try to teach him the right way to touch her but nothing seems to be working.<br><br>
I don't want to discipline him for the way he is reacting to the baby, because I'm afraid he'll resent the baby. BUt at the same time, it seems my words are falling on deaf ears. I feel like I tell him 10,000 times a day to be gentle with the baby, explain how/why, not to do this or that, only to have him repeat it just a few minutes later. There are times the baby just can't be held (when I'm cooking something that might splatter hot oil, or when I'm dealing with a hot oven, or if I've been holding her and just have to put her down for a second to use my arms and I don't feel it's worth the effort to sling her for a few moments, etc.) and it seems like those moments are the worst because I need my arms, yet I need to protect the baby from her brother and it seems I can't ever do what i need to do. Maybe I just need to permenantly plant her in the sling... LOL. No, really I want her brother to get to know his sister and love her, and he needs to learn how to treat her... But how?!?!?
 

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No idea how. Just commisserating. DS2 is 6 months and still it's a problem.<br>
Only solution I had in the beginning was a compact crib I kept in the kitchen so I could put him down in a safe place when I had to (playpen, etc., would work too of course). I *still* can't have them both in the same room without watching constantly. I try but always am reminded why I can't...<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:
 

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my boys are 14 months apart, the youngest is now 6 months. It's rough, I think harder then twins would be for this very reason. You just have to be vigilant about watching them, and expect that you wont get much else done.<br>
one solution I've come across is putting the baby in the stroller in the house and pushing him along with me (making sure my toddler doesn't try to take off with him) just to give my back and arms a break. I can rock the stroller back and forth with my foot, and try to get something else done (as I'm doing right now. also, keeping one or the other occupied in a high chair can be helpful. Good Luck. I've been told it's MUCH easier after the first year.
 

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Oh, and also, I try to encourage them to interact, and model appropriate ways to do so. So my rough and tumble 20 month old is now usually very gentle with his little brother (not that I would leave them alone in a room together). They both LOVE playing together now, It is the GREATEST thing, I just love watching them together.
 

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My only advice, NEVER leave the baby alone with him at all. I had the same problem with both of my kids b/c of the close age gap. My ds was 18mos when ds#2 was born. I still have to be very careful about leaving them alone together.<br>
It is hard to never be able to set the baby down and go and do something but I would have certain safe spots where ds couldn't reach the baby.<br><br>
When I was holding ds#2 I would invite ds#1 to come and sit with us and to touch the baby ect. That way it if he got rough I was right there to stop it.
 

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I'd get a doll for him so he can mimic what you are doing with the baby. If you use a sling, get him a sling, stoller etc.<br>
I think having a baby all of his own will make him feel more included.<br>
And its also less of a stress practicing gentle vs aggression with a doll.
 
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