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HELP! Newbie Alert

870 Views 7 Replies 5 Participants Last post by  Turtle's Momma
I'm sure this information is around here somewhere, but I can't find it and I am not super interested in trolling through the hetero-section of the board since this area is why I am here.

I am new to this message boarding. I don't know what any of your acronyms mean!?

Where do I belong as far as all of your groups go? I am 33, my partner and I just found out we are pregnant. She is carrying. We will both be nursing. We already have an 8 year old that I carried. We did at home insemination with fresh sperm from a known donor (three cycles and success!) who will be involved as "dad" but be secondary parent.

We are approx 9 weeks along, and due late November/Early December. I am a Doula and planning to become a CPM. She is a firefighter. We live in Minnesota.

Hello to everyone!
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Welcome!!!This place is wonderful. Congrats to you and your DP. I am due with twins around your DP's time. I was just wondering how your parnter is managing the physical aspects of firefighting while being pregnant? Does there come a certain time when she has to take an early leave? How exciting!! Great to have you here.'

dp=darling partner/dear partner
Thank you for the warm welcome!

She is doing great, now. Initially we faced some serious resistance to her going on light duty right away. Her chief (with no kids of his own) insisted she could continue fighting fires until the third trimester, and our first OB wasn't willing to sign off on light duty paperwork. After lots of research and tears we took 100+ pages of paperwork to them both and asked them to go ahead and sign off on each toxin inhaled in the line of duty they felt was perfectly fine to be injested by a pregnany woman in the first trimester. Then we asked about environmental carbon monoxide levels that are appropriate for extended inhalation in pregnancy that are caused by diesel fumes from running trucks near the sleeping area in the hall. We compiled a list of other extremely challenging physical duties for their review. We fired our OB and found a new one who was much more willing to look at DPs specific situation and the risks involved and help us write up a good plan for light duty that includes working as a rental residence code inspector and fire prevention educator. She loves it and I love having her home every night instead of sleeping at the fire hall 33% of the time. Her fellow fire fighters are extremely supportive and one of them is even our wonderful donor. After 12 years on the job they are like family to us!

We are looking forward to the early pregnancy discomforts to ease up a little, but we are so excited!!!
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I use this when I'm confused about acronyms. Honestly, most of them are a little annoying/weird in my opinion, but they seem kind of universal. Resistance is futile....
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wow turtle I knew it was a demanding job but I didn't even think about the fumes and such. I guess I was more thinking about the heavy lifting and such. Your DP must be super fit and strong. . I am glad you found an OB willing to adjust to your needs. The stress of conflict can be an annoying. That is so cool that one of her fellow firemates is the donor!! I find that too cool!!
Welcome to the board, and congrats on the pregnancy!

I think it's so super that you are both nursing. I had always wanted to share the job but my trans partner isn't into it. I think it's great, though!

Come join our Queer and Pregnant discussions
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Welcome. Sounds very stressful on the job front, but like you both advocated very well. I also wanted to pipe up on the nursing front. Can you you specify at all what your plans are? I'm pregnant with our second now (due mid-June), and my wife is trying to induce lactation so that we can both nurse (she's taking birth control pills and domperidone). Once you get down to really thinking about logistics, it seems like it might be complicated to maintain two separate supplies with one baby. Do you happen to know of anyone who has actually pulled it off in real life (as opposed to the many apocryphal stories out there)? We have yet to find anyone (though we do know adoptive families where only one mom has induced, but that really is different since then she can have more or less unlimited nursing time).

Best of luck,
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Hi everyone and thanks for making me/us feel so welcome right off the bat.

As far as shared breastfeeding goes, we are sharing it because she misses her work so much - being on the rig specifically and working the 24 hours shifts 10 days a month rather than the 40 hour work weeks she has now. So she will nurse exclusively for 6-10 weeks until she goes back to work and then I will nurse. Its my understanding that my milk isn't sufficient for brand new borns anyway so its what we'll do... Its what works for us. Having breastfed our first child 8 years ago - just me, we know that maintaining supply can be an issue... Frankly we aren't too worried about it. We will incorporate plently of milk thistle and fenugreek and pump as needed to keep supply up. Certainly having some frozen milk on hand for grandparents and big brother to fed the baby from time to time will be welcome. We are both really committed to nursing at least 18 months, so we will do whatever it takes, and luckily we are both "roll with it" kinds of people. Let me know if you encounter any problems - since we don't know anyone who has even tried it - I'd love to hear all about your experiences.
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