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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi guys

I'm the dad - working full time. My wife looks after my daughter who's five and my son who's 1.

Like most people, my concern with homeschooling has always been socialisation, and right now I'm really seeing this as a valid concern.

My wife has been taking my daughter to homeschooling groups for the past few months to play and interact with other kids around her age.

At first it was brilliant! She ran off with the other kids for hours and we wouldn't even see them, they'd just be in the playground somewhere.

But suddenly that stopped. We don't think anything specific happened, she just doesn't want to play with them now. And it's incredibly frustrating. She's just moany and whiny, doesn't want to leave my wife's side, and if she does, it's to play by herself.

I'm getting really worried. My little princess is not a weird kid. She's so playful and fun and intelligent, I can't understand why she's gone back to this. I'm really reaching out cos we're both at our wits' end here. She's so awkward now, and it's hard not to try pressure her to play with these children (who all really like her).

She's connected well with one of them who comes over for 1-on1 playtime and that's really positive. But then they see each other at these group things and my daughter pulls away from the group, and the other girl plays with everyone else. It's heartbreaking.

We are seriously considering putting her into a steiner school.

Can ANYONE offer any words of advice?

Thank you!
 

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IMO, this is really not a big deal at all. Kids go through phases of all kinds. Maybe she's not feeling well. Maybe she'd just feeling more clingy as her younger sibling becomes more active. The only thing to do now is give her more one on one time with mom and/or dad and give her the love and support that her actions are telling you she needs.


Also, if she does great with a one on one playdate, organize those. (So, she is playing with others, just not exactly the way you want her to.) There's nothing wrong with that. Some people do better in large groups, some in small groups and, most assuredly, kids change their feelings on this as they cycle through childhood. And, playmates change, a lot, in childhood. Last years best friend isn't even acknowledged this year. I was concerned about my dd's social skills at 4. I even enrolled her in some play therapy. She would do parallel play, but not cooperative play. The therapy was fine, but made no difference. Now 3 years later, she's a crazy social butterfly. And, now I worry about my 9 year old who was the social butterfly at 6, seems more reserved.


It comes down to this. Kids go through phases. If you have no overarching concerns about things like autism or other developmental delays and your kids have a good relationship with the family, they're fine. Could they use coaching sometimes? Sure. That's what parenting is. So, set her up for success overall and make sure the family relationships are strong.
 
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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Wow! Thank you!

I'm a bit of a worry wart generally...I must say she's thriving with everything else. I can't imagine it's autism, though it has crossed my mind. She plays great with us and has an active imagination, dresses up as a princess often, does shows for us, likes me to make up stories "from my heart", eats excellently, is very physically active...so I'm not so sure what I'm worried about. How do you know if your child's autistic? From what I've read on google, it's nothing like that.

Maybe as parents we just tend to worry too much.

I think sending her to Steiner could be very beneficial. it's occurred to me that maybe these girls, as a group, just aren't the right group for her - right now. She says they run too fast for her - she can't keep up with them. They climb to the top of the big playframe and she's a little afraid of heights. I think she finds the pace of it overwhelming. She's quite, shall I say, elegant in her mannerisms. Posh, even. It's very cute, but possibly not compatible with a lot of other childrens' temparements. Whenever she meets a child in the playground who is from steiner, they tend to have the same advanced level of dialogue, and play together for hours....that's why im attracted to it. Also, it would give my wife a break - need to focus on the baby now :)

Thank you so much. I wasn't quote sure what to expect going onto a forum like this :)
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
IMO, this is really not a big deal at all. Kids go through phases of all kinds. Maybe she's not feeling well. Maybe she'd just feeling more clingy as her younger sibling becomes more active. The only thing to do now is give her more one on one time with mom and/or dad and give her the love and support that her actions are telling you she needs.


Also, if she does great with a one on one playdate, organize those. (So, she is playing with others, just not exactly the way you want her to.) There's nothing wrong with that. Some people do better in large groups, some in small groups and, most assuredly, kids change their feelings on this as they cycle through childhood. And, playmates change, a lot, in childhood. Last years best friend isn't even acknowledged this year. I was concerned about my dd's social skills at 4. I even enrolled her in some play therapy. She would do parallel play, but not cooperative play. The therapy was fine, but made no difference. Now 3 years later, she's a crazy social butterfly. And, now I worry about my 9 year old who was the social butterfly at 6, seems more reserved.


It comes down to this. Kids go through phases. If you have no overarching concerns about things like autism or other developmental delays and your kids have a good relationship with the family, they're fine. Could they use coaching sometimes? Sure. That's what parenting is. So, set her up for success overall and make sure the family relationships are strong.
Thank you! I feel really good reading this :)
 
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