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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
We have an 18 mo DD who is breastfed and cosleeps in our bed. she has always been a frequent waker and ALWAYS got the boob. She also ALWAYS got nursed to sleep and it worked like a charm. DH would give her a bath, jammies, brush teeth....and by then she was saying "mama night night" and almost crying to get in my arms. I would take her in the bed, nurse her to sleep and then deal with the rest of the night.<br><br>
Lately, EVERYTHING else is basically the same routine (even her basically begging for me to take her in to bed)....then we nurse, then she "pops" up, starts playing with the pillows, my hair, kissing/hugging me, on/off the bed, running around our room! she will NOT go to sleep. what USED to take 10-30 minutes is now taking anywhere from 1-3 HOURS!!!<br><br>
I am also pregnant again, exhausted - and losing a bit of patience with the whole night time routine taking so long. we JUST started getting DH involved in walking her to sleep once I can't take it anymore. She used to scream bloody murder when he walked in the room, but at least that part is getting a bit better and she is not fighting it 100%. I"m sure that will help.<br><br>
Any suggestions?<br><br>
One other thing to add. I am desperate to try to nightwean her for at least one stretch of time through the night...but hope that I AM ready for that. We tried to start last week, but one night of a LOT of crying...and I thought I would put if off another week until I had the strength. I was ill and really needed to get sleep and be strong for this! I have read the great thread on the dr. Gordon plan that many of you are doing and plan to do that route. But it seems that many of you DC settle so much quicker than my little girl. Anyone's child cry the first few night A LOT and then still succeed????
 

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I don't know if I can be of help, but I can offer support.<br><br>
First, on the nightweaning - I wasn't comfortable with Jay Gordon's approach. Even he says if it feels wrong, don't do it. When ds (2) is nursing a lot at night and I want a break, I suggest it and he either goes right to sleep, or isn't ready and needs me. So we nurse.<br><br>
So, my son needs so much parenting to sleep. Except for a few weeks around 6 months, he has never gone to sleep without me, and usually has needed me to stay in the bed for the night. So I do. What worked for me was to change MY thinking about the whole routine. Instead of being in a hurry to get the baby to bed, I just put books on the bedside and, when he is really asleep, I read.
 

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Maybe the time change is messing up her sleep cycle? My 20m/o DS is nowhere near ready for bed at his usual time now. I just have to roll with it and look at the signs rather than the time when bedtime rolls around.<br><br>
I tried nightweaning at one point and it wasn't working so what I did was daywean. It sounds kind of opposite but we only nurse before naptime during the day. After about a month he is finally understanding that there are nursing limits. I occasionally try putting him down at night without nursing and its been working. When I say no or later to him he understands. In the middle of the night he isn't in a space for learning anything so I will sloooowly cut out the night nursings as he is able to understand more.
 

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IIRC, my dd started doing the same thing at around that age. She always nursed to sleep, but at around 1.5 decided that sleep was lame. So I started adding new things to the sleep routine. After nursing, we'd sing lullabies, do back-scratches, and then cuddle. I'd pretty much have to hold her in a bear hug to get her to fall asleep. And then I'd sneak out of the room--or, more likely, fall asleep with her.
 

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Same thing happened with us, but I think it was tied into her dropping naps and working on skills more than anything.<br><br>
What's your little one's nap schedule like? Recently our toddler dropped her only nap, and that has made getting her to sleep (and stay asleep) at night soooo much easier. But even when she was still taking one nap a day, if she didn't go to sleep before around 1, then it was really hard getting her to sleep at night. Once we finally realized that she wasn't wanting/needing that nap, it made getting her to sleep at night so much easier.<br><br>
Another thing that helped with the nursing constantly at night was to make sure she had a big, filling snack before bed. We'd still nurse to sleep, but that seemed to help a LOT with her not waking as often to nurse in the night.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
You'll probably laugh at my reply...but her nap schedule is kinda erratic. She goes down anywhere from 11:30 - 1:00....and can sleep anywhere from 45 minutes to 3 hrs. I have REALLY been trying to regulate this...and most days I can get her down from at least 12-130. But part of the problem is that she doesn't want to go to sleep for the naps either, so I spend an hour sometimes putting her to sleep. Like today, she didn't fall asleep until 1, and is still sleeping and it's approaching 4 p.m. So of course, tonight she will go to sleep a bit later.<br><br>
do you think at 18 months she could want to drop that nap? she still seems to need it most days but not all.<br><br>
one further note: she does NOT put her self to sleep. If nursing doesnt work, it usually ends up one of us has to put her in a carrier and walk her to sleep. This does work, but we would like to stop this cycle.<br><br>
Thanks so much for your replies!
 

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A couple important things that helped us get on the path to nightweaning:<br><br>
make sure dc got lots of exercise through out the day, before dinner and somewhat after dinner, 2 hours before bed, start the slowdown pace, choose games that don't involve jumping or being too active, have a bedtime snack and do bedtime stuff, stories, pj's, teeth, brushing.<br><br>
I started trying to rub ds's back instead of nursing, and this works well. I tell him he can nurse in the morning, and I can rub his back if he likes. He doesn't usually make it until morning, but he will make it 5 hours without nursing.<br><br>
We also recently switched ds nursing to sleep, to nursing after stories with the light on, having lots of sips of water, turning light off and rubbing back to sleep.<br><br>
Having a sippy with water by the bed has been good too.<br><br>
I also found Jay Gordon's method to be too strict and too complicated for me <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"><br>
I took some of his ideas though.
 

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I'm also a believer in waking kids if their naps are too long. If a nap has gone beyond 3pm I'll wake ds. I aim for his nap to be 1-2 hours long.
 
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