HELP! Should I leave my dd for the day WWYD?

945 Views 11 Replies 11 Participants Last post by dharmamama, Jun 17, 2005

LittleLime

Discussion Starter · Jun 14, 2005

(Also posted this in the Toddler forum...TIA)

Long story short...I have a great opportunity to work part time from home for an old client. I definitely want to do it...the only catch is that they need me to come in for a few hours to meet with them first. No big deal right...except that I am in Boston...they are in Miami!

I am scheduled to go tomorrow and have been planning to take dh and dd with me...we have plane tickets and everything. He would just watch her while I was in the meeting.

She is 16 mo and has never been apart from me for more than 4 hrs. We are planning to make the trip in one day...leave at 6am and return on a 6pm flight. So if I went alone I would be apart from her for at least 16 hours.

I have started to think that maybe I could go alone...I know she would definitely be upset and I would probably be a mess too...but taking her along is also very tough. It would be sooooo much easier if I could go alone. And I feel a little crazy lugging them both down there.

Has anyone done anything like this...leave dc for a loooong time without ever easing them into such a long separation. How did it go?

WWYD?

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sarahrose

· #2 · Jun 14, 2005

I'd go.

Is she going to be with your dh the whole time? It'll be a great bonding experience for them. I think it would just be more stressful to fly twice with a toddler (especially twice in one day). I think that age is the hardest to fly with. (I've been there)

I understand that it will be hard but frankly, she'll be fine. You'll be fine. Think of it as a mini break. It's not like you are leaving for a week or even overnight, just for the day. Go...enjoy your time.
HTH (and I hope I'm not being insensitive)

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Yooper

· #3 · Jun 14, 2005

I just did it...for longer even. I had been apart from dd for up to 10 hours in the past. I had to go out of town for 33 hours and I was a wreck worrying about it. Like you, my dd was with dh the whole time and I did originally plan to just bring them both. But the trip was going to be tiring for me even without the added worry of dragging a 20 month old on four flights total. I decided to just do it and by the time I decided for sure, there was no time for a trial run. So I just did it. It went much better than either dh or I thought. She was totally fine. I left pumped milk, I prepared foods she liked, and left a list of distracting things she likes to do. She was happy as could be with all the extra attention from dh. I nearly exploded (I can only pump with an electric pump and could not bring it) but luckily got home before I got an infection or anything. You know your dd better than anyone. If you think she will be OK, she will probably surprise you and be better then OK. If you have serious doubts, I would follow your gut and take them along.

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laralou

· #4 · Jun 14, 2005

I would take her if it were me.

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shelley4

· #5 · Jun 14, 2005

i would leave her, but i agree that it will be hard either way

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phathui5

· #6 · Jun 14, 2005

I would do it, only because she's going to be with her dad.

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maria423

· #7 · Jun 14, 2005

It depends. For example, I don't know if she's nursing or not, but if she's still nursing a substantial amount, I wouldn't leave her for that long. But if she's not and would be with dh the whole time, I'd go alone.

Good luck, whatever you decide!

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DaisyRose

· #8 · Jun 14, 2005

I had to go on a conference when my oldest was about 18 mos old, and I took her with me, with dh. It was great fun. We had a blast, and I felt like the unfamiliar surroundings were sufficiently interesting that dd didn't miss me as much as if she'd been looking for me in the kitchen, say.

I've gone on several conferences and always take my children and one other adult with me. That way I never worry someone is freaking out and crying their little hearts out.

It's worked out really well for us.

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zinemama

· #9 · Jun 14, 2005

I would leave her with dh. To me, two trips with a toddler on a plane is way worse than knowing she is in good hands with her father. Not saying you won't worry about her, but this is a very short trip, in the scheme of things. You're not proposing to leave her for a week in the care of strangers. I think she'll be a lot happier in a familar environment, even if one part of it is missing, than being whisked someplace completely new.

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cinnamonamon

· #10 · Jun 15, 2005

Depends -- is she used to being around your dh for whole days with you around? My dh spends a lot of time with ds on weekends, so if I hadn't been nursing as much as I was I probably would have been comfortable with it. Especially since he was okay with going to sleep by going for a car ride.

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sarahrose

· #11 · Jun 17, 2005

Bumped up..so what did you do? Just curious. Either way I hope the trip was good.

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dharmamama

· #12 · Jun 17, 2005

I'd go. I am of the mind that it is easier on little kids to be in their own environment with someone they know and love than it is to be somewhere strange for a long time. Two flights in one day is a lot for an adult ... even more so for a child.

I think kids should get the opportunity to learn that Dad can take care of them, too.

Naamste!

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