[Nathan1097]

For the last three months at least, I have noticed that JUST before my period starts, I get REALLY emotional. Yes, I have depression, but its been under remission for a year and a half with celexa. This seems to have to do with my period. I just cry and bawl for no reason and its totally not in my control and when I try to come up with a reason for it, I can only think of what I was thinking about right BEFORE I started crying, but it can be anything and its totally not rational. Honestly, it reminds me of how I was when I was pregnant. (Read: "INSANE!"

: )

Tonight, the same thing happened and my boyfriend finally had had it. He told me before that it frustrates him and I said that when it happens again I will say WHY- (Which is nearly impossible because there probalby is not a reason!)- and when I tried tonight he said I hadn't told him anything!

To me, I just feel like bawling for either no reason, or a reason that's totally stupid. In all honesty, the only other time I've felt thisway was when pregnant! I can remember lots of times talking with a choir director, or the lady at WIC, or whomever and just either screaming at them furious and/or bawling.

I'm only 34. This can't be menopause!! I have an IUD. Maybe I need to up my Celexa dose? Do I have that Extra Crazy PMS thing?!?! HELP!!!! I feel insane and Christopher has had enough. *I* have had enough!

Jennie

 

[perl]

Ugggh - Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD)! Ask your doc if you can perhaps increase your Celexa about a week before symptoms start, or if he/she has other recommendations. I don't have time to search (the computer, and my memory is not worth searching anymore!) but I think calcium and possibly magnesium supplements can help, too. Maybe someone else will have some better advice - good luck!

 

[Nathan1097]

Thanks. I found this site: http://www.aafp.org/afp/20021001/1239.html

I think I have all these symptoms. If I can get my primary doc to do something about it, I'll be good to go! (Talking with my psych. dr. would take MONTHS because its been so long since I've had a visit there, they would have to consider me a new patient!!) And yes, I did noticed last month that I am FINE after my period starts and especially during the time before ovulation.

This just can't go on. Its drive me AND Christopher crazy. I just feel totally at a loss and confused by it when it happens.

 

[shabana]

i too get these horrible pms blues............u peopel are atleast living alone....i am living in a joint family.........so when i burst out they too burst out...........i have had homeo medicence but of no use

 

[familylove]

Just wanted to commiserate and echo Perl's feeling that you could be suffering from PMDD and upping your Celexa dosage before your period might be helpful.

For about three yrs after DS was born I would cycle every month. Starting with ovulation and ending after my period started, I was a crying, angry, anxious, depressed wreck. For me, it was a matter of getting my bipolar disorder II symptoms under control (which manifested themselves after DS was born--before that I suffered from "just" chronic depression.)

I know its hell. Keep working with your doc and you *will* come up with something that minimizes your symptoms.

In the meantime, perhaps you could share some info with your DP about PMDD so he can better understand why your mood changes so drastically.

Take care!

 

[Nathan1097]

Thanks, gals.

I'm going to my primary doctor in a few minutes. I called and they want to see me. I'll let you know what they say.

 

[Nathan1097]

Well I'm back. They've diagnosed me with PMDD. Rather than put me on BCP's, I'm on double the dose of Celexa that I was. (I had a pulmonary embolism back in December so hormones are out.)

Meanwhile, my DP is another matter. He's written me an email today AND phoned me during the middle of the day which is highly unusual....

 

[Nathan1097]

I just took a REALLY long nap- couple hours. I'm wiped out. Is this part of it? I also am late for my period, despite last night's episode. They said the steroid shots I got in my scars a few weeks ago would do that?!

 

[Nathan1097]

Quote:

Originally Posted by familylove Just wanted to commiserate and echo Perl's feeling that you could be suffering from PMDD and upping your Celexa dosage before your period might be helpful. For about three yrs after DS was born I would cycle every month. Starting with ovulation and ending after my period started, I was a crying, angry, anxious, depressed wreck. For me, it was a matter of getting my bipolar disorder II symptoms under control (which manifested themselves after DS was born--before that I suffered from "just" chronic depression.) I know its hell. Keep working with your doc and you *will* come up with something that minimizes your symptoms. In the meantime, perhaps you could share some info with your DP about PMDD so he can better understand why your mood changes so drastically. Take care!

I have been transcribing something I wrote in January 1987, today. Its quite interesting some of the stuff I wrote back then. So sharing that with others has made me feel a bit better. (Mostly about music and my thoughts of the world, really- nothing horrible

)

However, I have wondered for a few years now- or at LEAST one- if I have bi-polar disorder. Granted, I know I have had depression for at least the last ten years off and on, bu in the last year (mainly since my divorce) I find that I will get really happy sometimes. As if all is right with the world. I thought maybe it was coffee making me more "zippy" but for example... Right after xmas nearly 2 years ago, I went out looking for a job, applied for medicaid, foodstamps, and went to at least 3 places to apply for a job. I also wrote out LOTS of applications. Never got a job though. Never even went to an interview! Last summer, I bought this tv/computer monitor on a whim. I bought my kids new beds- bunks beds for the boys and a mini-loft for my daughter- brand new. My daughter's, I just happened to be near the store and since I'd ordered one for the boys, I just went in and put in on my Art Van card. I mean, they'd given me 8 k in credit!

I have gone out last December or so, looking for a job and an apartment. I nearly got them too. Now I'm not so sure I could.... But I always get stuck or something then I get very depressed because I'm living with my kids- now nearly 5, 7 and 9- with my mom and her husband and nevermind the normal dynamics of this, they are rather oppresive on TOP of that, and I won't get into that right now. I've seen counselors umpteen times about this and I either get on a "roll" for a short time again, or once I even got "What do you want ME to do about it?!" Well, that ended that- and my work for quite sometime, at getting out of this. Everything seems to be a dead-end or I try AGAIN at some scheme to get outta here.

Anyway, would you consider buying stuff like that part of being bipolar?" I mean I thought for a while I was just wildly emotional because that's part of being divorced recently. Then there's this PMDD.... So up my Celexa and that's that. Unfortunately, I've been known to take Vicodin when I didn't need it for pain (which was most of the time I had two big bottles of it for after my surgery last december), drink too many wine coolers (Which for me is 2 !) and take xanax just cuz. I sleep too much and maybe I just need to get used to my new dose of celexa. I sometimes feel on top of the world- teaching judo (or helping at least) and things like that are all that keep me going some days. I've been writing some stuff and people love my website, but that's not getting me anywhere as far as money is concerened.

Ugh- okay. I'm hot now. Gonna stick my head in the freezer!

 

[dingogirl]

Hi. Just wanted to mention this:
http://depression.about.com/library/faqs/blfaq80.htm
Whenever I quit taking my EPO, my pms returns.

 

[familylove]

It is so very difficult to diagnosis BPD without the assistance of a pyschiatrist. Not to mention that there is a spectrum of BP disorders from Bp I (the most pronounced form) to BP 4. I have BP II which means that I mainly suffer from depression but also experience periods of hypomania. Hypomania reminds me of the things you are describing: sudden bursts of creativity, energy, feeling "on top of things", spending sprees, and irritability/anger (which you didn't mention, but is usually a component of hypomania). When I've been in a hypomanic state, I run around like a chicken with my head cut off, making all sorts of plans, spending more than normal and feeling like I'm *really* connected to life, but also very quick to yell at my DH. These periods only last about 3-4 days. In a lot of ways, they feel good, b/c its *so* much better than feeling depressed.

Taking more xanax than normal, drinking more than normal...that's what I would label "self-medicating", which I have spent a great deal of time engaging in myself. Do you do this when you're feeling depressed?

I would suggest keeping a mood journal. Every day, rate your depression 1-10 as well as hypomania. Record how much sleep you got and how much medication you're taking. Also record the events in your life that are causing you stress. Finally, be sure to mark when your period starts and ends. If you are able to tell when you're ovulating, note that, too. Doing this will provide a record and pattern of your moods and a more clear idea of what is happening to you month by month.

And check out the website: http://www.psycom.net/depression.central.bipolar.html
It's a great site with lots of information on all aspects of bipolar disorder and depression.

Please feel free to PM me. I know how much it sucks to cycle like you are every month. It's like you never get a break.

Take care!

 

[Nathan1097]

Quote:

Originally Posted by familylove It is so very difficult to diagnosis BPD without the assistance of a pyschiatrist. Not to mention that there is a spectrum of BP disorders from Bp I (the most pronounced form) to BP 4. I have BP II which means that I mainly suffer from depression but also experience periods of hypomania. Hypomania reminds me of the things you are describing: sudden bursts of creativity, energy, feeling "on top of things", spending sprees, and irritability/anger (which you didn't mention, but is usually a component of hypomania).

Yes, I frequently make grand plans- mostly on how to move out of my mother's house. I'll call people, gather info, apply for jobs, fill out rental applications.... I make a lot of phone calls, lists, plans, and my kids get all excited too. Of course, it falls through. I also turn up the music in the car, bop down the road like everything is AMAZING and the world is great. I did similar when I signed up for nursing school- got financing, got classes, started going... Well first semester I got an A and an A-. Next time around, I had math and got a D- but enough to move on to Chemistry. Well I bombed that. Dropped out before I flunked. As for irritability and anger, I get really frustrated with things and that's when I'll get like that, or when I'm tired. Last year, one day, I screamed at the kids, took them to school, and had really weird visions of ripping people apart that were not in my control. That's when my psych. put me on celexa. She said it was extreme stress.

I also have had auditory hallucinations. Nothing fun like people talking to me, darn it! Just a loud popping noise- usually just before falling asleep.

Quote:

When I've been in a hypomanic state, I run around like a chicken with my head cut off, making all sorts of plans, spending more than normal and feeling like I'm *really* connected to life, but also very quick to yell at my DH. These periods only last about 3-4 days. In a lot of ways, they feel good, b/c its *so* much better than feeling depressed.

Yeah. I've noticed that. I know in my head that its NOT right, but it feels better then being depressed, even though I feel out-of-control and guilty. I also feel like I am not in the world- like I'm separate and can go and do anything and get "lost". I want to drive away - far away- where nobody can find me. Last year, I drove from Michigan (where I live) to Georgia to see someone I'd met online. That didn't turn out well, needless to say.

Quote:

Taking more xanax than normal, drinking more than normal...that's what I would label "self-medicating", which I have spent a great deal of time engaging in myself. Do you do this when you're feeling depressed?

Yes. When I was on vicodin after my surgery, I barely needed it but I hoarded it, even taking half doses to make it last longer. I'd take it just to get that really zoned-out feeling. And since I was recovering from major surgery (and then a pulmonary embolism that resulted from it), I was able to just lay on the couch in my room, turn on "Will and Grace" and zone out to it. When I drink, it isn't often, but its always to get buzzed. Usually takes two wine coolers for this.

Quote:

I would suggest keeping a mood journal. Every day, rate your depression 1-10 as well as hypomania. Record how much sleep you got and how much medication you're taking. Also record the events in your life that are causing you stress. Finally, be sure to mark when your period starts and ends. If you are able to tell when you're ovulating, note that, too. Doing this will provide a record and pattern of your moods and a more clear idea of what is happening to you month by month.

I have seen counselors, social workers, psychiatrists and psychologists about this. They all give me plans, phone numbers, and ideas for moving out and yet- here I still am. I can't move out and I can't stand living here. Yet if I did move out it would be to "the projects". BTDT- dont' wanna go back.

Yes have kept a record of my periods and ovulation since the end of February this year. It seems to be just before my period that I get really bad- hence the PMDD. As for the mania parts, I dunno. I had thought it was from drinking Starbucks.

Quote:

And check out the website: http://www.psycom.net/depression.central.bipolar.html It's a great site with lots of information on all aspects of bipolar disorder and depression. Please feel free to PM me. I know how much it sucks to cycle like you are every month. It's like you never get a break. Take care!

Thanks. I will.