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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
HELP!!!!! MY dear friend has adopted a newborn with Gastrochesis(her intestines had grown outside of the abdomen) the birthmother had pumped milk for awhile,then just stopped,no explaination given. Baby C. has already had 3 surgeries(only 6 weeks old), my friend has run out of BM, many friends and people in town are donating their milk, but the hospital's policy is that they allow no BM other than from the birth mom. Baby C. is declining, for many reasons: breakdown in doctor/nurses communications, switched to formula after taken off of BM,now that she isn't given BM, she has started losing weight, nurses haven't been giving her enough formula(with GAstrochesis babies, you have to be aggressive to get them to finish feedings)...on and on. THey are about to take her off of oral feedings, put her back on IV,to get her weight and dehydration back up so she is ready for the next surgery. ON top of all of that, the hospital is an hour away from our town,my friend also has 3 dc under the age of 6. She and her dh take turns driving to hospital every late afternoon. They are stressed out,scared,lost faith in doctors, and feel they have NO SAY in what should be done with their baby. BABIES WITH THIS CONDITION CAN COME HOME ANYWHERE BETWEEN 6 WEEKS AND 1 YEAR!!!!!!!<br><br>
Can anyone help? Give me some direction to take? Advice to give to my friend?<br><br>
PLEASE SOMEONE HELP!!!!!<br><br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/angry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="angry"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/bawling.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="bawl"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/bawling.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="bawl"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/bawling.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="bawl"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/Cuss.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="cuss"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/banghead.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="banghead"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hopmad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hopping mad"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/sick.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="sick"><br><br>
mp
 

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Who has legal custody of the baby? Negotiations can be the best answer here. if adoption agency is in charge, talk to them about the need to have the baby on human milk and get some from a Milk Bank as that should satisfy the hospital's concern about the safety of donor milk. Some parents have gotten a court order to provide breastmilk for a baby. The research is such that it is a far better choice for a baby than formula. If more calories are needed, milk can be boosted by adding more hind milk. Parents probably need a lawyer if they have custody. Someone has to be making medical decisions for the child and they may be going along with docotr advice without questioning it and without knowing anything about the benefit of bf especially in a case like this.<br>
A change of hospitals or doctor may also be inorder. This is a serious medical condition and formula can make it worse. The loss of weight should be a sign to the doctors that baby needs human milk. meanwhile parents can stock up on whatever donor milk they get for when baby is released.<br>
Parents also need to know they are a vital part of the team caring for baby who has all the normal needs of any infant and only they can fill them. When our son was ill, we were in contact with a group called Parents of Children in Hospitals. They may have a website to contact for support and advice...
 

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Can she "pretend" she still has her own milk? I had a friend in a similar situation with the hospital and everyone gave her milk and she brought it to the baby implying that it was hers.
 

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Hi. I know how freaked out you and your friend must be during this whole episode. I have a 5-year-old son who was born with gastroschisis in October 1999. We were lucky in the fact that he required only one surgery and he had a spacious abdominal cavity for everything to go back in properly. I pumped for 5 weeks with him before I was able to put him to breast and he refused breastmilk mixed with formula to increase his calories. I can only offer our experience and how we learned to work with Colten's care providers and express our true wish that he didn't need anything more than breastmilk and extra hindmilk to fatten him up. Even today, he's not a chubby child. He has very little body fat to keep him warm, even though he eats almost anything in sight. You and your friend are more than welcome to contact me via email. I will share what I know from my experience.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
(((((THANKYOU)))))<br><br>
Your replies have been helpful.<br><br>
My friend and her dh are huge BM advocates. She nursed both of her birth children past a year,got sick for the second time with cancer, she went into remission,then they adopted a darling 2 yo little girl from Russia. Then another miracle brought this newborn to them.<br><br>
My friend is a strict Macrobiotic-and I mean strict. She is raising her kids Macrobiotic too. She felt physically sick when she read the ingredients on the formula ingredient list.<br><br>
I feel this doctor just does not have enough education about BM-you think!?? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/angry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="angry"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/banghead.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="banghead"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/banghead.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="banghead"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hammer.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hammer"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hammer.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hammer"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/rant.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="rant">: <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/Cuss.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="cuss"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hopmad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hopping mad"><br><br><br>
I am passing all of your replies onto my friend......THANKYOU!!!!!<br><br>
mp
 

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I am not sure of the type of cancer or treatment that your friend has gone through, but has she considered relactation? It would take a few weeks to get the plumbing going again and she might need to supplement, but it would be something to consider if her health allowed it.<br><br>
Just something else to consider.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
I forget the name of the cancer she had, but it did wipe out her fertility. Nonetheless, she consulted with a Lactation nurse, she then invested in a top of the line Medela (symphony?) dual breast pump,and drank a ton of MOthers milk, and gave more than a few weeks of trying every 2-3 hours, before she threw in the towel. She even talked with a few mom's here who have successfully nursed their adopted dc. I don't think any of them were actually in full blown menopause like my friend is.<br><br>
THanks for posting.....<br><br>
mp
 

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If the mom is pumping and bottlefeeding, she can just claim all the milk being brought in is her own. Are visitors searched at the door? Is the mom's pumping monitored? If not, I think she could easily lie about it.
 

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waas it ever determined if they cuuently have legal custody? If I was them, (and had custody) I would DEMAND that they get milk from a milk bank. If they refused, I would get my lawyer involved and start calling doctors to find one that would listen and switch doctors ASAP.<br><br>
It also sounds like the hosptial is not knowledgable enough to treat this baby. Is he at a large hospital with a NICU? Can they call a specialist? Where is she located?
 

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It sounds like it might be time for your friend to try to gather all of her adopted son's health care providers (surgeon, nutritionist, main nurses, pediatricians, etc) for a short meeting to make sure that everyone is on the same page in her wishes and how her son's health is really being affected by the lack of breastmilk and a breakdown in communication between these key people. It was one of the things that I remember being most upset about, the fact that no one seemed to talk to anyone, and they were all working for the good of the same child! It was like the old saying of a couple of blindfolded people checking out an elephant and one felt its tail and said it was a snake...<br><br>
How is the baby doing? I get very connected when I hear of other little people with gastroschisis because of my own son being born with it. Unfortunately, this is not one of those things that has a set way of treating it. Every doctor and hospital is different. I am always here for support.
 

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Oh, it makes me so sad to hear this. My oldest was born with gastroschesis and was in the hospital for 4 months. I can't imagine having to put formula in his poor little gut. We never did get to breastfeed normally, but at least he got bm (even got my first pumping of colostrum as his first food). I don't think my ds could have tolerated formula as his first food, it's just so harsh on their little systems.I totally agree with the advise to just pretend the donated milk is from the birth mother, if it's not too late. Our hospital never checked (like they could). If that doesn't work, definitely get a lawyer involved. Has she checked to see if the local LLL might have any legal contacts that would advocate for the child?<br><br>
Please give your friend a big hug, I'm sure she could use it.
 
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