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My friend's son is 3.6. She is a single mom who's soon to be ex lives 2 hrs away and comes to see his son on weekends...if he so chooses
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We met thru a parent intereactive preschool which my son outgrew and now her son is just about done, as he is too old for the class. The only friends he has are two 2 yr old girls and my son who is 4. So, we know he needs to be around other children his own age and for sure some more boys. Here are the problems. 1) He doesn't share. I'm not talking the normal 3 yr old won't share thing we expect. This kid turns beet red and gets aggresively angry when someone wants to check out his toys. 2) He doesn't listen to his mother. It goes beyond the norm, believe me. He looks at her w/such anger or simply ignores her. She has tried speaking at his level and tried a firmer voice. It's like he doesn't take her seriously. She's tried taking toys away for a period of time and she's tried time outs. I've seen her redirect her parenting...she's quite patient. But I feel SO bad for her, as he has really changed in the past 6 months. He gets so angry so fast...I mean a-n-g-r-y. I've had to pack up ds and leave b/c I don't want ds to pick up on this, he has his own 4 yr old issues, LOL. When he's at my house it's a little better. Ds shares well. (finally)And I won't put up w/his attitude. He "usually" listens to me.
Another thing. This boy is still in diapers. I see him look at ds's big boy undies when we change at soccer or whatever and I know he is uncomfortable by being the only one in diapers, I see the look on his face. BTW, this boy at age 3.6 is 42" tall and 40 lbs...potty learning would be a good thing, IYKWIM.

I'm sure it all has a lot to do w/his parents separation and mom being his closest pal. But she is at a loss and I can see why. He can be so gentle and thoughtful. And he gets so red and angry that she and I both worry about the future.

Any thoughts or suggestions? Thanks mamas, as always.
 

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That is really tough. I can't think of what you can do to help her, though. I think it would be inappropriate to suggest a play therapist or something for her son or to give her a parenting book. It is phenomenally hard to be a single parent. If she's newly single then that means they've both been through a LOT recently. Kids act out when things go crazy at home. If my child acted like this I'd probably seek professional help. I think therapy can really be great and there are some great play therapists in this area that asses things holistically, looking at diet and sleep schedules and family situations and parenting techniques. I knew a kid like this, age 4 when his parents ended their marraige. He was completely unstable and his parents' were totally unable to help him because he was so angry and they were really ineffective parents (they did that "holding time" stuff which I dislike immensely). Anyway, therapy helped. They all had to adjust to their new lives, and the parents had to learn to be consistent. Turns out the kid had a food allergy that was hurting him. I think they're all much happier now. I saw the kid a while ago and he was actually POLITE. Hopefully some of that was useful information.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Vito's Mommy
I'm sure it all has a lot to do w/his parents separation and mom being his closest pal. But she is at a loss and I can see why. He can be so gentle and thoughtful. And he gets so red and angry that she and I both worry about the future.

Any thoughts or suggestions? Thanks mamas, as always.
coming from a stepmama raising her stepson who was abandoned by his mom, it has everything to do with what is happening in his life. I think he's too young for his own counseling but his mom can seek out a child psych and have meetings with him/her to discuss how to help her son..this is what we did.
 
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