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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I posted this in another fourm and I haven't gotten any replies, so I thought I'd post it here.

I'm currently tandeming my two kids. I've come to the point where I must consider at least night-weaning if not full weaning due to a health problem I'm having. I've become quite ill and nutritionally my body can't keep going. I've had to go to the ER twice in two days for fluids, I'm so dehydrated and sick. This has been very difficult to consider for me, because I'm a dedicated tandeming momma and CLWer, but my health is in serious jeopardy right now and I'm afraid the nutritional demand from nusing is taking a heavy toll. I'm barely able to eat and assimilating little of what I eat, and I'm sure the milk they're getting isn't a good quality.

I need to know how to both night wean and how to fully wean the 20 month old. My daughter is only nursing once every few weeks so it won't be hard to wean her. But I'm concerned over the 20 month old because he nurses a LOT at night and 4-5 times during the day. There's little milk there, and he's complaining mightly about it and trying to nurse a lot to bring my supply up and it's not working, since I can't eat or drink enough due to unrelenting nausea to take care of my own nutritional needs, much less his. Unfortunately, it's a long-term situation, and I'm dropping weight rapidly and having a myriad of health problems surrounding it otherwise I wouldn't even consider weaning him.

I'm thinking maybe night weaning him and limiting him to one or two nursing sessions a day might be do-able nutritionally if I can get a better handle on my problems- we're waiting for a battery of test results to come back, and some will take another two weeks or so to come back. If we don't get answers, we'll have to go through more testing and wait again. I'm expecting weaning to not be an easy or fast process, though, so I think I'd start with night weaning and then work slowly on daytime weaning if it's warranted after we get some test results back.

I am completely heartbroken at the prospects of having to do this and I don't even know where to start. Please help, but please, no flames. This isn't something I take lightly at all. I'm completely heartbroken because this is a lot more than just one decision, my health is at stake in this and my parenting ability is suffering due to constant illness. Right now other people are taking care of my children at times due to my inability to function, which is something I'd never allow if I was well- we don't agree with babysitters or the children being cared for my someone else.

ETA: We do co-sleep.
 

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Discussion Starter · #2 ·
HELP! ANYONE???

WHY IS NO ONE TRYING TO HELP ME?

I'm very sick, had to go to the ER twice in two days, no doctor has any answers for me, and I don't have the reserves or time to go digging for answers. I sit still and throw up all day, and move as little as possible.

HAS NO ONE HERE EVER WEANED A BABY?
 

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I'm so sorry you're having trouble. Why do you think that weaning will help your health problems? I would think that if your health problems are that severe then they need to be addressed first. I have a problem thinking that nursing is causing them.

-Angela
 

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Kellymom has a lot of articles about weaning, so I'd suggest to try there. Other than that, the best advice I know for weaning is to 1) cut out the least preferred feeding first, then eliminate one feeding per week based on the least preferred of the remaining feedings. And/or 2) begin to reduce the amount of time at the breast for every feeding. You could tell your child, "You may nurse for 10 minutes and then Mama has to go do (blah blah)" or something like that.

Weaning is a very individual process based on the uniqueness of each nursing couple. Best wishes to you.

ETA: Here are her resources on night weaning.

Quote:
Gentle methods of night weaning for toddlers

* Limit Access.
After you nurse, place the baby back in her area, or slide her away from you so that close proximity doesn't encourage more frequent nursing. Wear clothing that makes it harder for baby to access your breast at night.
* Get Dad in on the nighttime routine!
If your baby appears to be waking only for comfort during the night, she may accept Dad as the comforter (and won't expect Dad to nurse her). Dad can comfort baby in other ways, such as offering a drink, just lying next to her, holding her, etc. Dad may even be able to sleep with baby in another room or on the couch with less interruption than if baby were sleeping near mom. The links below to articles by Bill & Martha Sears have many great suggestions along these lines.
* Increase daytime contact.
Allow baby unlimited nursing and cuddling during the day. Sometimes toddlers will seek out the breast more at night when they aren't getting enough close cuddling during the day. Sometimes we as busy mothers, especially if we have other children, forget to pick these little ones up often during the day and just sit and cuddle with them. If you can increase this close contact during the day, she may need it less at night. If you work, night nursing may be her way of trying to reconnect with you.
* Talk to your child.
With an older child, you may be able to explain something like this, "When the sun goes down, or when we go night-night, num nums (or whatever she calls them) go night-night, too. She probably won't accept or understand this completely at first, but if you say it before bed each night and repeat it each time she awakens, in time she'll "get it".
* Just say "no"... or "later."
With an older child (over 18 months), feel secure enough to say "no" (at least some of the time) while staying sensitive to your child's needs. At night, you might say, "not now, but we will later." She may - or may not - awaken again to nurse later.
* Substitute other comfort measures.
You also may try other things to settle her, such as a back rub, just holding and cuddling, getting her a drink of water, humming softly, etc.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
My problems aren't being *caused* by breastfeeding. I'm not able to eat or drink and I throw up constantly with no known cause. No, I'm not pregnant. I've droppd 22 lbs as of this morning.

So I can't handle the continued nutritional and fluid drain when I can't even barely get any food or liquid into myself to begin with. I'm constantly battling dehydration, and nursing is just adding to that.
 

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I have no advice, but I hope that you feel better soon. You need to take care of yourself if you are going to care for your children. Good luck with weaning, and please take care of yourself. I hope that someone else here has some tips for you. (I EP since my baby was unable to nurse, so I never weaned a baby)
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
My husband has taken over nights, and I'm sleeping in another room for now. So my husband and the two kids are sleeping together. He is only waking up once at night and crying, and my husband holds him and comforts him back down. It's around the 4:30am mark or so. Just getting a full night's sleep is helping me, especially since if I get woken up, it starts. It's basically wake up, sit up, throw up. Every morning, without a reprieve.

My main concern right now is mastitis, since I'm so prone to it, but I think we're going to try to limit him to nursing upon waking in the morning, down for a nap, and at bedtime by the time this is over. I really don't want to wean completely, especially if we can figure out what's going on. But so far, 15 vials of blood drawn and three doctors are stumped. I'm going to see an integrative medicine specialist on Thursday and I'm having a phone consult with my chiropractor today to see if they can help.
 

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Just wanted to offer some support, mama. It sounds like you're going through a really tough time, and I hope you find the info you need. Have you done a search of the bf forums to see if you can find some advice that way? I might also try just doing a google search for "weaning toddler" or something like that.

Good luck!
 

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Slightly OT, but you might want to post over in the vaccination forum for some ideas for what's going on- there are some super ladies over there who have tons of insight on health issues.



-Angela
 
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