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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm really really at the end of my rope with dd and her sleep issues. WHY in the world wont she <b>nap</b> when she's dead tired and her eyes are puffy and red and she's rubbing her eyes and rubbing her face on me...i know all the cues but she just fights sleep so bad and ends up so cranky and i *cant* deal with it anymore <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
i feel myself drifting farther away from her and i hate it <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/mecry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="crying">: i've spent days, months in tears over this because i am a total introvert and NEED time alone to rejuvenate (sp?) and be able to see and think straight.<br><br>
she's almost a year old and most of her life i'm sorry to say was not that enjoyable. ugh, how ugly to see it typed out <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
for a couple weeks there i thought things were workin out and i said to dh "this is the first time since dd's birth that i am *enjoying* being her mom" <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/jaw.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="dropjaw"> how awful to say! but it was true!! she was resting and was sooo much fun! i couldnt believe this was the same WHINY, screeching, screaming, upset girl...i want that back<br><br>
i have tried all i can think of...eliminated dairy early on from my diet (helped immensely with nursing, not with sleep), catching her cues early, catching her cues late, wearing her out with play, waiting to try for hours so that she'll be super tired, dark curtains to keep her sleeping later in the a.m., rocking, nursing to sleep(was working for months at night but still took at least 2-3 hours of nonstop nursing and still she would sleep past midnight every night and wake up early then no naps), walking around with her, dh taking her, slinging, singing, routine, bathtime, reading to her, and now just recently bought an almost $200 swing so that if she did fall asleep while i rock her in the rocking chair i could put her down in the swing so it would keep moving and it worked...once <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/angry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="angry">:<br><br>
i dont want to be angry and upset and resentful but man, just sleep already!!!!!!!<br>
if she was happy and jolly and i was forcing her to sleep that's one thing, but i'm really trying to help her transition from awake to sleep and i'm failing and we are both miserable...<br><br>
what the heck am i missing?!?! someone out there please have some info or some links or something i can read into...<br><br>
if u've made it this far thanks
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> I don't have any wise words for you. Just wanted to let you know you are not alone. I went thru that with dd #1 and i remember how awful it was, i felt touched out, tuned out and worn out. plus pile on the guilt because i was feeling that way. this didn't help much i know hopefully someone will have something more contructive to tell you<br><br>
nak
 

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sending you love and empathy. i am such an introvert myself, and i understand that dance of no time, not enough sleep and resentment and guilt. i can only offer that dd started to sleep a little more like a normal human at 6 mo, then a little better at 12 months, and better still at 18 months. now at 20 months, she's teething, so it's a little disrupted, but it's infinitely much better than it was a year ago. it sounds like you've covered all the bases with her, mama, it could just be a reallllly long phase. (((hugs)))
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
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Have you looked in the Sleep Issues section on Dr Sears' website? It's <a href="http://www.askdrsears.com" target="_blank">www.askdrsears.com</a><br><br>
For yourself, is there someone in your family that can take her out for an hour once or twice a week (whether she's happy about it or not) so that you can whip up some stuff for you to eat during the week. And so you can just have some "quiet time." (Make something easy like pasta and stick it in some Tupperware containers.) Other healthy and easy things are like carrot sticks, banana, apple, any fruit really.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
i have but thank you for the suggestion..i just reread it and i've got all that covered..next stop, the dr's..<br>
thanks
 

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Does she sleep in the car? When my sister was little we took drives around the neighborhood once or twice a day for a while.<br><br>
Will she fall sleep in the swing? Amy would do that sometimes, too... I know you said you tried to put her in after she fell asleep in the rocking chair, I wasn't sure if you'd tried starting her out in the swing...<br><br>
I know how hard it can be. At least when my sister was born, I was 12 and my brother was 10 so there were 4 of us to take turns with her :-/<br><br>
Dar
 

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I'm thinking other food allergies? Can you try a full elimination diet--not like you're eating anyway, right? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"><br><br>
You poor, poor dear! No one should have to live like that! Hang in there!
 

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Well the thing that worked for us, the only thing that has worked for us (for my still sleep challeneged 4 year old) was structure and routien. from waking her at the same time every morning to putting her down for regular naps, even if all we did was sit and stare at the ceiling (eventually it did morph into a nap), regular meal times, and regular bedtimes. all with little routiens that went with them. routiens for eating, routiens for going down for naps and bedtime. we doushed everything int he house with lavender. Gerber makes the best lavender soap I ahve found (judging by smell that is) and it is cheap so we could use it liberally (as in everytime i washed my hands). My poor 5 year old pretty much had to tend to herself for a couple of weeks while we got his going, I got a sitter for her part of the time but she knew that if this worked she would have me back and she hadn't had me since the baby was born. Some babies just need structure. contrary to everything AP gurus say some babies like to be told what to do, when todo it and they need absolute structure. sounds weird I iknow, I couldn't believe it but really if I break my routiens my who life spirals out of control. Ever since I have quit my job to saty home I can't remember to brush my teeth and put on deoderanbt and take my medication in the morning because i don't have a routien!!! it is maddening. And i have been brushing my teeth for 30 freaking years. So as a person who need routien to function appropriately, even though I prefer to be spontaneous, I can understand how some babioes would be completely out of sorts without whatever level of routien and structure they required.<br><br>
our situations sound very similar. If you would like to PM me feel free.
 

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I know this is hard. my son did not take naps much at all for his first 7 months, and then we managed to get him to sleep in the swing for 20 min.<br>
being full time mom with little to eat and not enough you time is so not good.<br>
I really really think you need to call someone close to you,family, friends, and get a break --- RIGHT NOW> <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/yes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="exclaim"> ---- I dont like the way you sound. please get out and talk to someone and find a solution to your much needed space issue. You may not be able to get her to change this sleeping thing for a while but in the meantime you must take care of the consequences>>> which is a mama burnt out it sounds.<br>
all my best wishes~Laura
 

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Would you consider going to a naturopath? Olivia has always had major sleep issues (not napping and getting up 5+ times a night at over a year old) and Elijah wasn't so hot either. I recently took them both to a naturopath and they have so many allergies! I thought you had to be looking really sick to have allergies but nope. And many types of allergies can cause sleep disturbance, one in particular is corn. That's one Olivia is allergic to. Since we've had her off the corn (and that is ALL corn products including anything that contains corn products or corn starch or corn syrup) she is sleeping through the night almost every night and taking a 2 hour nap every day! Yay! My kids also have tons of environmental allergies which we are currently working on improving (we just applied for a huge home improvement loan to make our home as allergy proof as possible). I don't know who the author is but look for a book called Is This Your Child? It will give you more insight into whether or not allergies could be part of the problem. I got it out of my local library. Good luck!
 

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All these suggestions are great. I would also say that you're putting a whole lot of pressure on her to sleep and its a loaded issue which means of course she wont sleep. Would you be able to sleep if you were anxious and tense? Maybe just giving up a little, let it go for awhile - arrange for your alone time - coordinate with dh or a friend and get your alone time that way and take the pressure off your baby.
 

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I haven't had a full night's sleep in over 7 years. I don't anticipate having one anytime soon (my kids all have special needs that include sleep issues), but I do have people I can call on if I'm feeling desperate.<br><br>
That being said, things are so much better for us than they were a year ago, when I literally thought I was going to die from lack of sleep. People have offered great suggestions here, including looking into allergies and going to a naturopath (we took my daughter to a homeopath, which helped within a month).<br><br>
One other suggestion I can offer (not a quick-fix, I'm sorry to say) is to keep a sleep diary for your child. I was soooo sure I knew my daughter's sleep patterns, but just a week of keeping a sleep diary for her revealed some surprises. She had some patterns I wasn't aware of that I could use to help her. And she had a lack of patterning in other areas that indicated we needed to get her help (hence, the homeopath). A book I always recommend is Sleep Better: A Guide for Improving Sleep for Children with Special Needs by Mark Durand, Ph.D. Nothing earth-shattering and new, but pretty AP-friendly since conventional strategies just don't work with a lot of special-needs kids.<br><br>
Anyone who wants more details about any of the above is welcome to ask, either here or by PM.<br><br>
All my sympathies and best wishes,<br><br>
Tara
 
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