[Nickarolaberry]

Hi Mamas!

My 4 1/2 year old heard me on the phone today talking to a person interested in buying our house. We are relocating to a town about 35 mins. away (east) as dh took a job about 25 minutes even farther east and 1) he needs to be within 1/2 hr. for emergencies (physician) and 2) it's more affordable there.

DD is very verbal, intense, and articulate. She started great heaving sobbing and crying that she didn't want to move. I tried to validate her feelings but we got nowhere. In the end I simply had to distract her (not easy) and I know this is going to escalate.

We're nowhere near moving day - we have to sell our house and buy another one, and she tends to amplify things in anticipation. We usually don't tell her of big issues until just beforehand so she does have time to deal with it - but not too much time.

Any ideas for me how to handle this? I know she will have grief and anger and issues. This move is really not optional for us; we can't afford to stay where we are. I tried explaining that a little but it went over her head.

Help?

 

[annieboobags]

we have moved our 4 y.o. yearly since she was 18 mos. so here are some tidbits i have to offer.
- take her house shopping thru the newspaper ads. try to pick out the things that you may be able to have in the new place you don't have now. visit a park in the area you may move to that has some really cool things. this worked really well when gail was 3- she couldn't stop talking about the "ladybug park" before we moved. talk about what is closer to your new home(the childrens museum, etc.)
-pack her room absolutely last, and get her OUT of the house when u do it. also, MOVE those boxes of her stuff in one room and lock it or she may try to get into the stuff...and want every last toy she rarely plays with anyway...(this is also an awesome time to send those things on to goodwill...they very rarely miss em)
-oh this was a great boon- we promised a cat to gail, b/c we were finally moving into a place which allowed pets. bribery, i know, but hey, a girl needs a pet!!

as far as when to discuss it, i personally would wait until you have to show the place to others, but i am sure some would disagree. BUT DO NOT make it sound like you have no choice in moving! we made this mistake last time in letting our daughter (then newly four) that we HAD to move(a**hole landlord found someone to sign a 2 year lease so we got the boot) and to this day she still worries the benny's are going to come and kick us out...
hope this helps some! just make the new place sound like more fun! get her involved as much as you can! good luck!~annie