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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm looking for help and suggestions about how to set boundaries with my daughter. She's doing a lot of stuff that is just not cool but we don't know how to get that message across effectively.<br><br>
She slaps faces when we hold her close or when I nurse her.<br>
She bites me while I nurse her.<br>
She pinches.<br>
She howls and throws tantrums at nap time or when we take her from a toy or activity.<br><br>
We've tried saying "no", "stop", "don't", etc., we've tried the stern face, putting her down, stopping nursing, etc. Nothing has worked so far. She just giggles and tries again and again and again. We know that she does this much more frequently when she's getting tired. But she also does it when she's not. So it's not JUST a sign of being sleepy.<br><br>
Advice would be MOST welcome. I don't want to mismanage this now and have a real problem with a preschooler who beats up her classmates in 2 years' time.
 

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Heya, V! I don't really think I have any help or brilliant suggestions, but I wanted to let you know that A (same age) is totally getting into the experimentation of hurting us (mostly me). He pinches, squeezes, hits, pulls hair, bites, etc. He doesn't do it a lot, but he's definitely testing the limits to see what's acceptable. He gets this gleam in his eye, then shakes his head, signs "hurt," says, "nonono" or "gentle" and does it. I just keep doing what you do - say no, that hurts, be gentle with Mama (model gentle touches), etc. and I put him down or stop the nursing when he's being rough. He'll get it eventually, and in the meantime I'll protect myself (by putting him down/blocking punches, lol) and go back to redirection and distraction. Oh, and I give him things he CAN bite/hit/squeeze (a pillow, a toy, an apple, whatever) when he's going after me.
 

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My youngest is almost 17 months, and has been quite un-gentle for the past few months. We consistantly take her hand gently and stroke her or our face with it, saying, "Gentle. Use gentle touches." When she does it, we thank her for using her gentle touches. She is starting to get it. "Gentle" is one of words she's been saying for a while now, too.<br><br>
Rather than telling her "NO" or "Stop" or "don't", I try to tell her what to do. So, I'll tell her to "Let go", or "Use Gentle Touches," or even, "Bite this toy instead of your sister." I try to give her toys that she can pull, bite, poke, or whatever, when she is in a tenacious mood about it. And, sometimes, I put her down for a moment or two so she knows that I really am serious about not letting her hurt me.<br><br>
She's slowly getting better. It's a phase. It comes and goes throughout toddlerhood as they experiment, process emotions, and learn about compassion. This too shall pass.
 

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I was just getting ready to post this. Only my problem is that younger DS (also 16 months) wants to beat up his older DS, so I have to figure out some way to convey to older DS that I know it's not appropriate while still gently teaching younger DS. Younger DS is slapping & pinching my nipples then laughing. Must be fun to get such a reaction out of mama. He also gets the gleam in his eye, cackles & goes for any wires or electronics he sees around.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Thanks for letting me know it's a phase and it'll pass. And that I'm not alone in dealing with a very precocious little person. Heh. It helps.
 
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