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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Ok, heres the thing, I have always used gd and natural parenting, and never worried about how she went about getting things done with my daughter. Even to the point that I was telling other adaults in her life that if they diddn't like the way she went about things they needed to just look at the fact that she was kind and loving and that all the other things diddn't matter as long as she was a good person. Now comes the problem....shes not nice anymore!! She is totally disrespectful at all times and dosn't care about anything. Its no longer going about things her own way its that she is asked to do things...like sitting and listening at school...and just won't do it. She has the ability, she just dosn't care what is asked of her, to the point that she wants to do just the opposite of what is asked. She dosn't respond to any consequenses, natural or otherwise. If you send her to her room she will come out 5 minutes later and just start walking around, send her back and she does it agian. Ask her why she is doing these things and she either dosn't respond, yells at you for it, or says "I don't know". We even go through all of the emotions she could be having that cause these things to happen and she is apparently not angry, scared, just upset, or feeling anything but good feelings. My problem is that because of past happenings I can not just act like they don't bother me, but I am so pasionate about her that I don't know how to not get angry about this. We have tried everything we know. We had been using a point system to keep us both in check, but I don't know if she stopped doing this because it felt like she had less control over me or what. If anybody has any ideas on how to maybe get her to talk to me before an explotion happens that would be great too. I just can't stand that I'm becoming the scarry mom because of rebelious behaviors in her.<br>
Oh yeah...I also had made a deal with her that she could do anything she wanted to her hair, room and clothing (no she can't dress like a hooker) if she would just be respectful to people just in case it was a self control issue. She has gotten worse since this happened. Back to the disrespectful part, if we try to help her with homework, and tell her how to correct things she starts yelling at us and telling us that she is right and we are wrong even if its a misspelled word. She just won't accept direction even the smallest bit. She even has an example of what happens when you refuse to abide by anybodys rules in her biodad. She has watched him fail in life because he is hot-headed and I just don't want her to be that way. I love her too much to watch her do that<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/mecry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="crying"><br><br>
So anyway if anyone has any ideas on how to stop this visous cycle that has started please share.
 

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Discussion Starter · #2 ·
Just for all peeking in...I would still like some advice and her life is not as messed up as it may seem by my first post. But we are OK and I don't generally alow her to get to me like that. I also understand that she has changing hormones and she is trying to pull away. I understand the why in the situation. I just need advice on how to deal with it myself. I find myself reverting to the anger that my parents used when she pushes hard enough. I just need to figure out how to deal with myself...I know I can't change her, I just want us to be able to respect eachother. And if it can't be that way I need to know how to step up and take charge in a way that is not harmful. So, thats what I need advice about please.
 
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