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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
DS1 is 3YO.
Recent diagnosis of apraxia but nothing else.
I suspect some craving sensory issues, based only on my research/reading.

He has "enjoyed" transitions since birth. I was never able to get him to stay asleep while moving him from carseat to bed, for example. He often needed enthusiastic coaxing to build his own acceptance of going grocery shopping, or even to the library.
As he got older, going places has become easier for the most part...but there are times when we are going to someplace I know he has fun (library, playgroup, my mom's house....) and he cries and resists and generally acts completely miserable. He drops his head dramatically to his chin and sighs heavily....pouting with his lip to the floor. Other times, it is all out screaming, "NOOOOOO!!!"

But this is hard. It hurts my mom's feelings, esp. since when he actually gets there and can calm down, he has a fabulous time! It makes me uncomfortable forcing him to GO someplace - but 99% of the time, I am correct and he ultimately shifts into having a great time and often doesn't want to leave. I also WOTH 3x/min per week so some days there is zero choice for him.

So...what to do? How about when you *must* take them someplace? Do you force your kid(s) to get through it and GO, esp. when you know they will have a good time? What works? What can ease the transition pangs? I suppose it depends on the child, but typically will the resistance overall get worse if we stick to making him work through it?

We give him lots of updates and warnings and notices of changes and what is coming next -some times it helps, other times it seems not to make a difference. Will getting him a watch help?
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This past weekend, DH wanted to go to the store for something-literally a 15 minute trip - he invited DS1 to go...and at first it was fine. And suddenly, a switch flipped and DS1 melted down completely. Due to apraxia, his communication falls apart when he gets so upset and that makes things even more challenging. He screamed and screamed, nothing could calm him down. Turns out, he just didn't want DH to leave the house b/c he wanted us to stay all together as a family; he would have been fine if we ALL went, or ALL stayed home. DH ended up not going.....but we both felt some resentment, irrational since we are talking about a 3YO, but it was not nice.

Any ideas? Thoughts? Experiences?
 

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The only thing I can think of at the moment is a picture schedule. It really helps my DS. It's basically a bunch of pictures of common activities (grocery store, park, playgroup, school, put on pjs, etc) with velcro on the back and you lay it out on a board/wall/whatever. Then as each activity is done, the picture is removed from the schedule. An occupational therapist can help you set one up, that's who set ours up.

Catherine
 

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My son (34months, speech/sids issues)has just, I mean just started doing this. Its getting worse too. His problem is he is all gung ho for doing something, then, he changes his mind when it is inconveniently too late. Ex. He thought he would slide down the big slide at the McDonalds play area the other day. He has never ever done this, being happy to play in the baby section with not a care to the *big side*. Well, it finally happened, which is good but........he climbed in that tube, and got halfway up(where, by the way, i couldnt see him) and then he starts screaming mommy out mommy out!! Whats a mommy to do???? I couldnt get up there! I had to send another older child to go up and help coax ds down, by which that time he was in hysterics. Then, a minute later, he went up and then down the slide.
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My son does this a LOT. I am trying to work with it, but sometimes I just dont know what to do either!
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by CB73 View Post
DS1 is 3YO.
So...what to do? How about when you *must* take them someplace? Do you force your kid(s) to get through it and GO, esp. when you know they will have a good time? What works? What can ease the transition pangs? I suppose it depends on the child, but typically will the resistance overall get worse if we stick to making him work through it?

We give him lots of updates and warnings and notices of changes and what is coming next -some times it helps, other times it seems not to make a difference. Will getting him a watch help?
:
Something that works well with my ds is to incorporate him into the transition - meaning that he has little jobs to do so that we can leave the house. Since you are already giving him warnings, try giving him choices that are moving in the general direction for leaving such as, does he want to brush his teeth first, or put on his shoes/boots? At a play area, does he want to go down the slide one more time, or does he want to do "x" one more time? If my ds is working on a project at the house, I tell him along with the warning -- we are getting ready to leave, can you find a good place to stop?

This has been a helpful strategy at school as well. The teacher will tell my ds that she is getting ready to blow the whistle to come in -- and would he please go tell his friends that it's almost time to line up? He happily does this and then when the whistle does blow, he lines up nicely. He's also responsible for ringing a bell in the class when it's time to change activities. In a sense, he becomes part of the change agent.

I will say this -- it is VERY hard to understand transition issues with a child who has a speech issue because they can't tell you WHAT their issue with leaving is -- and like your ds, my ds would resist going to places that I knew he liked to go until I realized that sometimes he wasn't READY to go -- like he really just needed to finish his puzzle first. Or that instead of going to the big park, he would prefer going to the little park. AND I think a lot of it IS about control - ds just needed to buy into the whole transition process which means that by giving him choices (like brushing teeth or shoes first) helps him feel more in control.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
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Is it ALL transitions (not including going to bed or taking a bath), such as going outside to play in the yard, switching from one indoor activity to another, waking up, etc., or is it just mainly getting into the car?
Not all activities, no. His bathtime resistance feels more age-typical. He rarely resists going to bed. He has grown into enjoying trips to the grocery store. He likes going to his primary caregivers' home -although every once in a blue moon as we PULL INTO her driveway, he drops his head and pouts - but then it is like a switch flips and he makes a choice to go inside. (or something I say about a toy, or activity catches his fancy and...off he goes!)

So..not the car itself. Not the activity or place itself...I don't know. I am trying to work on monitoring it more - just getting a better understanding of when and frequency.

LauraLoo - great idea about asking HIM to pick the time. I will try that sort of thing, when we can. I definitely give him choices of hat or shoes first, and so on....the lack of verbal can be so so hard.

I appreciate the feedback...
 
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