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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My dh asked me to leave for a few days (to go to my parents) so he could think about whether our marriage is worth trying to save or not. There is a whole lot of issues, we are both to blame (but mostly me). Anyway, I am freaking out. I don't know what to do. I don't want to seperate. I love this man with all of my heart. However, it may be too late.<br>
Worst case scenario, what do I need to do if he wants me to move out? (I don't want to the house, so that's a non-issue). I never thought I would be here. I don't want to be here. But if I'm going to be here, how can I protect myself? I wold do anything to make him stay, and I'm afraid that will cloud my judgement if we do seperate.<br><br>
I wish I could just make him stay.<br><br>
(cross-posted in Single Parenting b/c I'm sure those mamas have experience with this stuff.)
 

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Couldn't read and not post mama. I have no advice just a hug and a prayer in the world for you tonight.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"><br><br>
So sorry you're going through this.<br><br>
I think you'll get lots of good legal advice on the single mamas forum.<br><br>
Have you all done counseling? Would your DP be open to it? If it's gotten this far, it could be tough, but if you all could commit to three months of counseling before making any decisions re: divorce, it might give you both breathing room to try to work things out. This is especially important since kid(s) are involved.<br><br>
But, you can't *make* anyone stay in a relationship s/he doesn't want to, you know? If I were you, I'd hope for the best (and work towards that with counseling, communications, etc.) but plan for the worst (assets, custody, etc.)<br><br>
Good luck and hang in there.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Thanks.<br>
I am very much hoping for the best. I suggested maritial counseling with a time frame of 3 to 6 months, and he said he'll think about it. I'm willing to do anything, it's just a matter of whether he is or not.<br>
My poor dd asked if daddy was going to come see her today. It hurt so bad to have to tell her no.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Kelly1216</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10779851"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">My poor dd asked if daddy was going to come see her today. It hurt so bad to have to tell her no.</div>
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Although your DH has a right to distance himself from you in order to think about the state of your relationship, he really does not have the right to distance himself from his daughter. She needs to know (and so does he) that Daddy is forever.<br><br>
Best of luck - I hope it works out for you all.
 

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Obviously I don't know the background or history of your relationship, but you might want to think twice before saying "you don't want the house". I've seen too many women who just wanted to get it over with, or an amicable split, and ended up with nothing, not even the money they were owed from the house.<br><br>
Of course, I hope things can be worked out and it won't be an issue at all.
 

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gabry, i was one who thought i cared little about having the house, and spent three years wishing i'd tried something (at least tried, you know?) to hold onto it. it was a rough road for dd and i, moving into two apartments, one of which was filled to bursting with toxic mold...finally we are in our own little house, which feels so good and lovely. i suppose we were meant to be here anyway. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> but if i had to do it over again, i wouldn't have been so flippant about the house, so i think your advice is wise.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Thanks for the advice about the house, but I really can't afford it on my own. I just don't see a possible way for me to keep it.<br>
We have a meeting Tuesday night with our Bishop from Church. Hopefully that will go well.
 
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